sunshine and pringles

a day in life...

2012-01-31T01:00:00.000Z

Sticking with the one car thing, there are many days where E and I are just hanging out at home. This may seem fairly normal for a lot of you, but for so long I was at stay at home mom without a home to stay at home in that it has been a BIG adjustment for me to get used to just being home. (could I use the word home anymore times in one sentence?!) But the more we do it, the more I love. Let me tell you, we have had some great times that would have been missed otherwise. Today was one of those days.

We started off painting the bathtub. Thanks to pinterest we spent at least an hour painting and re-painting the bathtub wall. It was awesome. (because I am not a fan of naked baby pictures on the world wide web, I tried to paint a bathing suit over eleri. It didn't work and became a pink blob instead, but you can pretend I have artistic ability)

Then I unpacked some more. Yes, we have lived in this house for almost 2 months and yes we still have boxes to unpack. Dont judge, I move slow :)

But e thought it was more fun to get in the box and jump out saying "peeky boo" over and over. It was precious

We played in the backyard with her 'football' Yes, she still refers to soccer as football. Apparently, that British-ism is not going away. I am sure her father helps to perpetuate it.

(as a funny side note: She LOVES sports. Her favourite? "Rubby football" Rhys caught her calling Rugby 'football' once and when he tried to correct her she wasn't getting it. So he told her she could call it 'rugby football' which is technically the official name. Now she says 'rubby football' for everything and wants to watch it all the time! she really is her father's daughter)

We went on a walk. But about half way through she decided it was more fun to sit on the curb and scoot her way along. That lasted for about 5 minutes. Man, it was a lot of scooting!

And then on our way home from the walk, e had some fun with her shadow. She kept jumping and moving her arms saying "look mammy! my shadooo is moving!"

and all of this was before nap time! I am anxious to see what the rest of the day holds once the little squirt wakes up.

daily lessons

2012-01-30T19:55:00.002Z

One of my goals for 2012 under the Spiritual heading was to read through the Bible and read a 'study' daily. I put two one my iPhone because I figured that was the best way to ensure that I would do it every single day. It beeps regularly to remind me, I can read it anywhere, and I get a handy percentage calculator letting me know how far along I am. It's nice for me to see the progress. So far it is going pretty well. I am on track. Granted it is only January, but I am staying positive!

One study is called "Eat this Book" and it goes through the Bible from Genesis to Revelations with a Psalm or Proverb at the end of each daily reading. The other study is call "Parenting by Design: Daily Devotional" Basically it is just what it sounds like. Every day there is a little snippet about parenting and then it ends with a related verse. I like the reminders of parenting by God's standards.

The reading for today was particularly good so I wanted to share it....

Love of the World

"Is there a more important lesson we can teach our children? Pursuit of material things never satisfies and it never ends. God has much more for us than the things we desire here on earth, yet we often live in a way that our kids cannot see that truth. They see us striving and stressing because we have one more thing- yet want still another. They see us comparing ourselves to others. Sadly, they even see us comparing them to other kids, pushing them to be 'successful' in school, athletics, and relationships. Is the love of things of the world your example to your kids? How could you better demonstrate a love of spiritual things?"

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. For if anyone loves the world, the love for the Father is no in them. For everything in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- comes not from the Father but from the world." 1 John 2:15-16

I think this is a particularly important lesson as we are raising kids in a culture that places such emphasis on what we have, what we look like, where we live etc.... I can tell Eleri that it doesn't matter what is on the outside, because it is the inside that really counts. But if the way I am living my life contradicts that, then they become truly empty words.

I have a friend who strives to show her kids daily what it means to seek after Jesus and not after the world. Her daughter recently turned 5. They had a big, fun birhtday party but on the invitation it said to not bring gifts but instead bring certain supplies for a 3rd grade classroom. The family had "adopted" a classroom from a poor, west Tulsa school and as her daughters birthday present, they took all the supplies and toys to the classroom and gave to those less fortunate. It makes me tear up even writing about it now. Talk about a living example. It is not what you have, the pursuit of more and more and more....

This mother truly lives that for her children.

Do I? Do I show E with my actions, as well as words, that material things don't matter as much as Jesus?

Something to think about for sure.

She has a name!!

2012-01-25T20:06:00.002Z

We have known that the new baby has been a girl for a while. And names have be tossed around for months. If I am completely honest, I have been suggesting names since the day I found out I was pregnant. Literally, the day I found out.

With Eleri is was easy. We had one girl name we liked and one boy name, that was it. There was no question. Simple. This time has not been quite the same. Rhys and I couldn't really agree on a name. We liked the idea of a Welsh name again but couldn't find one that we both agreed was ok. No offense to all the Welsh out there (especially my in-laws) but aside from Eleri all the Welsh names we came across were CRAZY!! WE serached baby books and on line naming sites. We asked friends and family and still couldn't decide.

Finally, we settled on a short list of names we liked:

Sophia
Olivia
Caroline
Eva
Eleanor

Eleanor was first to go because we thought people would shorten it to Ele. But that is what we call Eleri. Two girls with the same name seemed a bit redundant (and weird). Rhys threw out Caroline and that still left us with 3. Then one day, out of the blue, the perfect name appeared. Just like that- and we both knew.

It is Welsh and it is different so we tested it out on a few close friends who we knew would give an honest opinion. and the name went over with great success. So new baby girl has a name!

Lowri Grace

Lowri means crowned or anointed with glory. After the complications of this pregnancy (which require a post all to their own) the meaning couldn't be more perfect. It is pronounced not quite like it is spelled. The LOW part rhymes with HOW and the ending, RI, is pronounced the same way the RI in Eleri is- a 'ree' kind of sound. The grace is two fold really. Firstly because of the pregnancy and issues, Rhys and I have really needed, and felt, the Grace of Jesus more than ever. He is watching over little Lowri and will do what is right and just in His own gracious, loving way. Secondly, Eleri's middle name is Ann. It is a family name, E being the 8th generation to have Ann as her middle name. I love that tradition. Ann means gracious. So because I couldn't really give Lowri the same, family middle name, at least her name means the same thing. They are connected. And I love that.

Lowri Grace it is. Yea for a name!

verse of the year

2012-01-22T20:47:00.002Z

It is easy to ignore some of the more 'famous' Bible verses. Things like "For God so loved the world..." and "In the beginning God created...." But sometimes it is those very verses that pack the most punch. There was nothing. and THEN out of that very nothingness, God created. Few things are more powerful than that. How many of us have created something out of nothing. Really, I venture to say no one. I am not much of a cook, but sometimes it seems like I create a masterpiece (relatively speaking) out of a bunch of seemingly random and unrelated ingredients. But I still have ingredients. I did not create a casserole out of black nothingness. I had something to make something else. But in the beginning- God just created. Powerful verse.

Another verse I feel like gets brushed over is the "Fruits of the Spirit" It is one of those verses that you learn in Sunday school. Then when you get older it is taught in women's Bible study and the occasional church service. But the true significance is lost in the normalcy of the verse. It is so common, we, or at least I, don't stop to think about the real impact. The real meaning.

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galations 5:22-23

Take a minute and think about how different the world would be if everyone lived according to the fruits of the spirit. It everyone was loving and faithful, patient and good. Think about how different the world would be if everyone who said they were a Christian lived by those principles. Life would look a lot different.

When we were still living in London, we went out nearly every Saturday night (or match day, or any day really...) with the rugby team. You could find us at our local pub sharing pints and laughs with people that we came to know as family. I remember one night in particular I had a conversation about God and suffering with a boy that was as far away from Jesus as you could get. He was no where near accepting the truth of Christ or even realising his need for a savior. He asked me if God was so good and powerful like Christians say He is, then why is there suffering, famine and pain in the world. I feel this is a common question non Christians ask. Why....? It is a hard question to answer. What I responded back with was this: Everything is a choice. God is God, but He gives us free will. People make choices, both good and bad. So think about the 10 Commandments (because he knew about those) They say don't steal, kill, lie etc.... If everyone in the world lived by those standards there would be no war or famine or heartache. But people don't. People choose to live in greed, malice, murder and manipulation. So when people choose to go against what God has ordered, then bad happens. He wont hit us over the head to make us love Him, but it will break His heart when we go against Him.

For some reason, my friend accepted that answer. He said he had never looked at it that way, people choosing the wrong things instead of God just doing them. And it got me thinking about the fruits of the spirit.

If someone followed me around for a week in my normal life would they see a wife, mother and daughter that truly lives according to the fruits of the spirit? Would they see patience when my little one is driving me crazy by disobeying? Would they see joy when things dont go my way? Would they see gentleness when I am tired and frustrated? uh, probably not.

So this my verse for the year. "The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control" Principles by which I want to actively commit myself to pursing in the coming months. A verse that I want so ingrained my mind and heart that when unpleasant situations arise, those words are the first thing that come to my mind. I no longer want this to be a Sunday school verse, memorized as a 10 year old and long forgotten, but a active part of my daily life.

Galations 5:22-23, Verse of 2012.

2012

2012-01-20T21:09:00.004Z

I have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about the new year. I am always so hopeful at the beginning of the year. It is a fresh start; it doesn't matter what the past years have held, this one is completely new. It is like a blank canvas- anything can be painted through out the year. I love that.

It is especially poignant this year as we are in our very own house for the first time ever. It feels like life is finally ours. We can make our own plans, set our own budget, decorate any way we choose and basically life our lives how we want to. To say I am excited about the possibilities of 2012 is an understatement. I am so burst at the seams, cant hold it in, words can not express, overflowing with joy and optimism, about 2012 that well...lets just say I am pretty positive about how awesome this year is going to be.

I have learned a lot in my short and (lets be honest here) fairly sheltered life. I have been stretched more than I thought possible these last two years, and have finally arrived at a place of calm. Not an unsettling calm- like the calm before the storm- just a new found peace. And it is lovely. Which brings me nicely to my "theme" for 2012.

Peace and Contentment.

I have struggled with contentment pretty much my whole life. Peace is right up there with it. I let so much rob me of those two things. I have not been intentional in my choices, thoughts and actions to keep peace and contentment at the forefront. So this year my goal is to have a year calm with life, situation, circumstances etc... I understand there will be difficult and trying times in the year ahead. That is simply the nature of life in a fallen world. But it is my attitude that will (hopefully) be different in dealing with those situations. When difficult things come my way I so often resort to the 'woe is me' meantality. Sometimes I just get angry and become a not very nice person to be around. But rarely do I go straight to prayer, straight to Jesus and surrender to Him, accept His will and then act accrdingly. It is all about choices. And this year I want to choose Peace and Contentment.

Aside from a 'theme' I have also made some goals and prayers lists. I do this every year, but it usually just stays in the back of my journal for only my eyes. But I am sharing a picture this year. You must feel so fortunate. (picture from iPhone, ignore the quality)

Here is how it works. I have 6 main categories: Spiritual, Physical, Financial, Outreach, Sacrifice and Personal Enrichment. The 7th category is a fun one: Just for Fun. That is includes the silly 'resolutions' like try a new hairstyle or paint my nails a funny color.

In each of the main 6 categories I have 5 goals that I want to accomplish this year. Some are fairly small. For example, in the 'Spiritual' section one of my goals is to do a Bible study at my church. Easy and achievable. Some are more far reaching. For example, in the 'Outreach' category I have listed to become actively involved in OATH. OATH stands for Oklahoman's Against the Trafficking of Humans. Not an easy subject and not an easy thing to become actively involved in. The training is intense and the subject matter is difficult. But I have thrown myself in whole heartedly, really feeling the Lord's direction in this. And I truly believe God has amazing things for this in the coming months.

The 5 goals in each main area of my life are reasonable goals. I have found that if I break things up into smaller, manageable pieces I actually accomplish tasks. Same with goals. Instead of making a giant list with 20 or 30 things I want to do (which I have been known to do in the past) I prayerfully consider each area of my life. And then come up with 5 goals that I feel are important.

Just to mix it up, each category has a special "no pressure extra goal" written in red. This is exactly what it says. A no pressure, 6th goal in each of the categories. For example, one of my goals in the 'Physical' section is to run a half marathon in 2012. That, at least at this point, seems pretty doable. New baby girl is due in May so plenty of time to recover and train. The no pressure, extra goal is to run either a full marathon or 2 halfs. It is something fun to work towards, but not one the original 5.

I have taped these goals to the door in my bathroom. I look at them every single day, multiple times. I read and re-read them. And it has made a big difference so far. Granted we are not even through January, but nothing like starting strong eh?

As for prayers, I have made a specific list of prayers for Rhys, our marriage and my 2 girls. (can I just say that I LOVE writing that- 2 girls!) It goes something like this....

Things as simple as 'eat a bigger variety of food' to 'understand her need for a savior' are only Eleri's list. Again this is taped in my bathroom where I see it countless times a day. A great reminder to not only pray for my children but to pray specifically over some of their specific needs.

So there is it, 2012 goals. Here's to a great year!

Looking Ahead

2012-01-20T21:03:00.002Z

so, the interlude was a bit longer than expected. But the break was needed. Life has been a bit crazy and overwhelming at the moment. Perhaps soon I shall write about such things. But in the meantime, back to 2011/2012.

It's been a bit to long to jump back to 2011. I know I only finished half of the reverbs that I wanted. Plus the blog is a nice way to look back and reflect, but as I have been praying over goal/plans for me and the family for 2012 I have come to a realization. It really is over. Obviously 2011 is over, it does not take a rocket scientist to figure that out. But the struggles/pain/heartbreak/heartache/despair/confusion of 2011 are also over. That saying "If God brings to you it, then God will bring you through it" springs to mind. 2010 and 2011 were the two most challenging years of my life. There were times so full of joy and laughter that those years will forever hold some of my favourite memories. But there were also time so dark and empty that going back simply to 'blog' about it is a kind of dwelling and remembrance that I do not need right now.

God brought me to it. And God brought me through it. Done.

And with that, goodbye 2011. Hello 2012!

a pictoral interlude

2012-01-08T22:07:00.004Z

I will get back to reflecting, but in the meantime.... here are some awesome pictures of my little one.

Thank the Lord its Friday!!

2012-01-06T19:41:00.002Z

I am taking a short hiatus from 2011 reflecting and 2012 goals to word vomit for a bit. I have lots of whinny, complainy things on my mind and would apparently write about those instead of positive reflection and looking ahead.

We only have one car. In the grand scheme of life this is not a problem at all. Seriously, it is waaaaaay down on the list when compared with world hunger and war. But in the daily living of my life, it is pretty annoying. The entire course of our marriage we have either had no car or only one car. But, we have also lived in a place where public transportation not only existed but ran smoothly and efficiently. Here? People look at me like I am insane when I ask about bus services. The looks I get in South Tulsa from drivers when I am walking down the street with my stroller? seriously, I may as well be an escaped mental patient.

I hate it.

Why dont people walk more here? Ok, ok, side walks are few and far between. and it is annoying to walk on uneven, often non existent grassy areas right next to the road. But maybe if more people expressed an interest in walking then they would build more sidewalks? I just don't understand it. Walking is good for you. It is a healthy way to get around. My church is less than a 10 minute walk away and people think we are crazy for walking there. Seriously? 10 minutes? my doctors office is a mile away, so is eleri's doctor and there are plenty of coffee shops and donut shops within a mile. Yet the looks I get when I show up with a stroller- oh man. What is so wrong with walking?! seriously south tulsa- get with it! The majority of the world walks places, get off your ass, out of your car and make the most of the crazy warm weather in January. (walking rant over)

Back to the one car thing. Our one car is kind of not working anymore. Remember the walking rant? Well it is hard to walk places like the grocery store, E's ballet class, my parents house, school etc... because there is no way to get there except walking on the main road. and that is not safe for a pregnant woman with her 2 year old. Rhys works downtown. We live South. It is about a 30 minute drive, give or take. On the days when I need the car to run errands or take E somewhere, we wake E up just before 7 (she usually sleeps until 830 or 9), put her in the car, PJ's and all and drive Rhys downtown to drop him off, turn around and drive back home. It is not the most efficient, but at the moment the only option. On those days Rhys runs home. It is only about 15 miles and he is crazy like that.

And yesterday our car all but died. The water pump is out, two front tie rods are cracked, there is an oil leak and we needed 4 new tires. Two of the tires were so bad that you could actually see through them. Yeah, we were minutes away from a blow out. All we fixed yesterday was the tires. And then this morning, bright and early at 7, we got in the car to discover that the power steering had gone out. seriously? SERIOUSLY? yeah, super awesome.

So our one car is pretty much not working and we live in a place where is there non existent public transportation and no sidewalks. again, in the grand scheme of life- not a big deal. In my daily living? a big deal.

well, more annoying and EXPENSIVE than anything else.

so that's where we are. annoyed about only having one car, annoyed that people don't walk anywhere here, annoyed that there are no sidewalks. just plain annoyed. I am SO glad that it is Friday and we have a weekend of lovely weather ahead. I need an attitude adjustment big time!

Happy weekend everyone- enjoy!

2011 Reflections, part 2

2012-01-04T19:28:00.003Z

a few days later than planned, but nonetheless a continuation of the 2011 mini Reverb reflections...

8. Where did you spend money?
uh, everywhere. seriously I cant say that 2011 was 'money well spent' I knew we were leaving the UK so I kind of went insane buying 'British' things so I would have them for our new house in America. What I ended up with is boxes (literally) of stuff that I have no idea what to do with. never buy just for the sake of buying. On a side note, that is one of my goals for 2012, to be aware and buy wisely. But that did not characterize my spending in 2011.

Aside from foolish spending (which was the majority let me tell you) we did have some good expenditures. Rhys and I went to Rome in February. It was heavenly and worth every euro we spent. We also shelled out quite a bit for plane tickets to America in April and then back to the UK in October. Costly, but again worth it. And lets not forget the large sum of money used to purchase our very first home. I couldn't be more thrilled at that use of money. Again, worth every penny. So perhaps 2011 wasn't all foolish spending....or perhaps I am just telling myself that to make it all seem better! ha!

9. When were you most scared?
January through to May. January and February were different kinds of fears. March and April different again, and May all its our kind of fear. But I can never remember another time in my life when I was so fearful and so afraid of life in general. I will spare you all the details because they are gory. But the first half of 2011 was not brilliant for me.

10. What questions did you ask?
When, What and Why. Why did we decide to leave the UK? What will America be like? When are we moving? When do we get our own space? When does this mortgage thing work for us? When do we finally get to be a couple? When do I get to be a mom without parents? Why am I a stay at home mom with NO house to stay at home in? What do we actually want to do? Why are we in Tulsa? When will it feel like home? When are things going to be 'normal' for us? What the hell is going on? Why is this life? Why? Why? Why? and so on and so forth

11. Who surprised you? was suppose to be the question, but I am changing it to What surprised you...?
Tulsa. Moving here was a hard transition. The hardest one of 2011 that's for sure. And it took me a good few months to actually adjust. But by about mid June I was shocked that we had friends that we really loved in Tulsa. That we had a community. And not just a community but a neat, relaxed, fun Christian community. Just like the one I 'reverbed' about wanting last year. Redeemer as a church really surprised and so did everyone inside of it. Rhys and I found a home that we thought we wouldn't have for a long time. And we are so grateful.

12. What did you learn?
More than I could ever really put into words. I learned what it really means to be a wife. and to be a mother. I learned there is a BIG difference between being a parent and actually parenting. I learned that if I don't take the time to invest in my family, then it simply does not get done. I learned that I am lazy and selfish. I learned it take effort on my part to fight against those things. I learned that I actually care about recycling. it matters. I learned that I can passionately about human trafficing. (lots of future posts on that) I learned that waiting is miserable if you don't take the time to actually wait- forcing life to happen is not a good plan. I learned that the waiting can be sweet- if you make it that. I learned that my friends are wonderful. I learned just how challenging a cross-cultural marriage can be. I also learned I there is nothing you could throw at us that would make us do it any differently. I learned that my husband is the strongest support I will ever have. He is also the strongest, most incredible, amazing man I know. I learned what family really means. I learned that I am more capable than I ever knew. I learned that ultra marathons ARE for me. I learned about life in ways that I never knew possible. I learned a lot.

13. When did you feel the most relaxed?
10 December 2011. The day we moved into our own house. After 18 plus months of living in someone else space, it was glorious to finally have my own. I cried that night as I laid down to sleep in MY own bed. Not some bed that just happened to be in the rented flat, MY bed. in MY house. ah, it was like a tiny glimpse of what Heaven will be like.

14. Where did you leave a mark?
I honestly don't know how to answer that. The beginning of the year was marked with so much pain and inner turmoil for me that I don't think I was capable of doing much of anything, let alone impacting anyone or anything. I got a lot more selfish and lazy as the year went on....so hmm....I would like to say that I left a mark on Eleri. But I am not sure between the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Peppa Pig that she even realised I was around. Ok, so that was a bit extreme. But I also want some honesty on my blog. 2011 was not a brilliant year for me as a person or as a parent. I got into some bad places, and some bad habits. My little one did watch a lot of tv. A great place to learn from and start again in the new year.

15. What movies did you see?
Date Night?.... did that come out in 2011? I saw Harry Potter, Part 2 in the theater last year I know that. But those are the only ones that I can think of...

So that is it for today....more up tomorrow.

2011 Reflections

2012-01-02T04:04:00.004Z

Happy New Year! The end of 2011 resulted in some pretty sporadic blogging as 'morning' sickness and moving took over my life. And even though the year has technically already wrapped up, I did not want to officially end 2011 on my blog until I did some year end blogging.

I ended 2010 with Reverb. 31 days, 31 posts- all reflecting on 2010 and looking forward to 2011. I went back through today and read those. It was interesting, funny, heartbreaking and humbling to read some of the posts. 2010 was a hard year. A lot of what I hoped for 2011 came true. and a lot didnt. But I am glad I had such a record.

So whilst I did not 'reverb' everyday in December, I am going to do a summed up version the next three days. Then on the fourth day I will post my goals for 2012. Then 2011 can be wrapped and the blog can officially welcome in the new year.

So without further ado, let Reverb 11 begin:

1.Where did 2011 begin?
The in-laws house. Lots of party food, wii games, dance party with the adults when the little ones went to bed, lots of drinks, lots of laughs, a quick skip over to the pub and a good time was had by all!

2.Who did you meet?
Gosh...lots of people. We moved in April and had to start over in a new country, a new city. Thanks to the graciousness of Tim and Ally, we met and were welcomed into an amazing church.

3.What books did you read?
Positive Discipline, Help your Baby talk, So Long Insecurity, Radical (I do not recommend that one), 12 Books that Changed the Word, and I feel like there might have been a few more....

4.When did you struggle?
I am not sure that I can fully answer that one. I struggled A LOT. 2010 was difficult, but 2011 proved to be no walk in the park. I struggled leaving Europe. I struggled moving back to Tulsa. I struggled letting myself make new friends and I struggled letting go of some of the old ones. I struggled living with my parents for 8 months. I struggled not having my own space. I am still struggling with not having a car and my own transportation. (hard to do in tulsa) I struggled investing in E the ways I wanted to. and then I struggled with guilt when I didnt. I struggled going back to the UK in October. and then I struggled leaving again. I struggled with getting pregnant. I struggled a lot. about a lot of things. a lot of the time.

5.What did you discover?
I discovered that life really is what I make of it. If I am negative- life sucks. IF I always point out the bad, then that is what I am going to get. I discovered that the opposite applies as well.

I discovered that I have even more of a tendency to be lazy that I thought. and if I am not careful, the day is easily wasted away.

I discovered that I am both stronger and more insecure than I thought.

6.Who was important to you?
First and foremost, Rhys. I am difficult. seriously. I cant imagine having to live with myself. Sometimes I step back and really think about what I just said or did and I am amazed that Rhys actually puts up with me. He is patient, kind, considerate and compassionate. I can say without reservation that I would not have made it through either 2010 or 2011 without him. He will never know just how important he is to me.

Also important in 2011: Katherine. without her in Brecon, well...it would have been even harder than it was. Allyson. Without her in Tulsa, I cant imagine what the transition would have been like.

7.What do you hope to remember?
I really hope to remember the gratefulness felt when we finally got our own space in December. (yup, barely made it in 2011) It was such a long wait, and such a hard wait, that the feeling was so incredibly sweet. To us our place is HUGE! after our tiny flat, which was the last place Rhys, E and I lived that was just us, that our house may as well be a mansion. I mean come on, you can NOT touch all the kitchen walls at the same time. Or sit on the toilet, with your feet in the bathtub whilst brushing your teeth in the sink. Our place is massive :)

And we are so grateful. I don't want to lose that feeling. I don't want to get caught up in what we do or don't have. I don't want to start thinking "oh we need to do this to the house and buy this or that" I want to live in that appreciation we first felt. I don't want to lose that feeling.

And that is it for today. More tomorrow as I try and wrap up the year in my head and prepare for the new year ahead.

winter stylin'

2011-11-28T20:14:00.005Z

I am not the most stylish person in the world. But I have changed quite a bit over the years. In high school I used to wear umbros and t-shirts in the summer and polo shirts and khakis in the winter. and not just any polo shirts- my brothers shirts. the brother who is 6'3 and 4 years older than me. I did not look cool. You would think college would have been better. Sadly, it was not. My freshman year a friend and I decided to see how long we could go without showering. Why did I think that was a good idea? I dont know. But I lasted so long that I could pull my hair back into a ponytail and it would stay- stay without a ponytail tie! yup, hair grease alone. I also wore hats a lot, only wore chacos (even with dresses) and generally thought t-shirts were the only thing acceptable to wear. Again, I did not look cool.

I suppose I started to invest a bit more in grad school, but travelling to Europe is what did it. Oh, the style! It was glorious! The skirts, and scarfs, and jewelry, and bags! When I went to New Zealand to 'study' I racked up huge credit card debt shopping. As a side note of the story: credit card debt is NOT cool. Do not go shopping without a budget and put it on your credit card. you will be paying it off for the next 10 years.

Moving to London changed me forever. London is stylish. No chacos and t-shirts there. In fact a fun game to play was "Spot the America" you could always tell. The girls would wear jeans, fleeces and tennis shoes and the guys would wear fleeces, baggy jeans and tennis shoes. Brits do not wear baggy jeans. or tennis shoes unless they are running or playing tennis. My wardrobe gradually changed from frumpy to...well, at least a little less frumpy.

I wore sparkly tops, skinny jeans, high heels, multiple bangles, ballet flats and even a trendy leather jacket. Living and working in London finally propelled me out of "lets not shower and dress like a boy" to "lets wear fun, stylish clothes and shower at least 3 times a week" Stylish or not, apparently I dont like to shower. And since they have super cheap clothing stores like Primark and New Look, dressing stylishly could be cheap as well!

As a result, my fall/winter wardrobe is stylish. Since there was never really a summer/spring to speak of in the UK, my warm weather clothes are pretty much exactly the same clothes I had in college and high school. But winter- oooh, man! Skinny jeans and fun tops galore.

And the point of all this? Well, I am not vomiting constantly today so thought it would be fun to write about something 'fun' like clothes instead of the toilet. and....I bought a wonderful pair of boots today. They are wonderful! They are black leather and tall and soft and beautiful. Really. Plus they were marked down from $129.00 to $109.00. Then another 40% of that. Plus I had an additional 20% off coupon and when I got to the register to buy them, I found that they were actually a further 15% off! So I purchased my beautiful boots for $39!! Seriously folks, that is a great deal. Even if you dont like boots, that is something you can get excited about!

So there you have it. Winter stylin'. Even in maternity clothes as I was pregnant in the UK the first time. All the regular stores have a maternity line as well. Brilliant. And now I am off to the doctor....hoping to find out the sex of the baby!!

my new best friend, the toilet.

2011-11-28T03:51:00.005Z

So....I am pregnant. Very exciting. But also, well, let's just say that I am tired of throwing up 15 plus times a day. I am just over 13 weeks and although it would be wonderful if the sickness would let up, I am not holding my breath.

I have felt a little bit better the last few days. Which means that I have only thrown up 10 times a day. Last Friday I kept a little tally-mark count on my hand. 27 times. That's right folks, if you wonder where I have been, that's where. Stuck with my head in the toilet, throwing up 27 times. yuck.

So despite my best intentions to be thankful everyday in November and post pictures of our trip to the UK and our fun adventures in London last month, I am lucky if I can get out of bed and feed the daughter that I already have. It has been a struggle to say the least!

But because so much has gone on, here is a quick update:

-Went, and came back, from London and Wales. It was awesome.
-WE bought a house!!! YAY!!!
-We move into said house in 9 days.
-As stated before, I am pregnant.
-We are looking to buy another car. unless one of you out there knows someone who is giving one away.... :)
-Thanksgiving was AWESOME! I only threw up a little food, but it was wonderful to be in America for an American holiday.
-Did i mention that we bought a house? Finally, after 18 months of living with various parents and in-laws, we will be in a house of our own!!

Ok, so thats pretty much it. and now I am going to throw up.

Thankful- Day 1

2011-11-02T02:06:00.004Z

Because we are leading up to thanksgiving, which I think is a pretty awesome holiday, I am going to post something every day that I am thankful for. Even though it has been nearly a month since I have posted anything, instead of explanation or excuses, I thought I would just jump right back in. So here it goes...

1 November
I am thankful for my wonderful husband. He is currently in Miami on work (tough work trip, eh?) and in his absence I am reminded daily of just how amazingly wonderful he really is.

He cooks, cleans, works, plays with E, provides tirelessly for our family, makes me feel special, wanted loved and cared for. He seeks Jesus daily, does an incredible job at work, and even more amazing job at home and never, ever complains. Seriously, I don't know how it does it. He never complains. And on top of all of that, and additional time spent with me as special wife time, he still manages to run miles upon miles everyday. (did I mention he did the Tulsa Run 15K over the weekend in 62 minutes)

My husband is awesome. And I am first and foremost thankful for him.

back in the good ole' us of a

2011-10-04T17:56:00.002+01:00

we are back. it is good, really good, to be back home. I am beyond tired and little e is not adjusting well. poor thing. I am trying to upload pictures so I can write a more exciting post, but in the meantime, this is it.

we are back and it is good.

woo hoo

2011-09-25T15:02:00.003+01:00

We have landed in the UK. and the trip over couldn't have been more perfect. It was nap time when we boarded the plane in Tulsa, so we told E it was time to go to sleep. She slept the entire flight and we waited until every single person was off the plane, slowly lifted her out of the seat and managed to carry her off the plane still sleeping. what a star.

We found a McDonalds in DFW with a kids play area and let eleri run around like a mad woman until it was time to board the London flight. We were lucky enough to have the bulk head (yay!), and e quickly settled in to a movie. After dinner, we changed her into her pj's and told her it was time to go to bed. We explained how tonight she would be sleeping on the plane next to mommy and daddy. She seemed excited about that and by 8:30 she was out. She did not even stir again until we landed and, once again, everyone else had gotten off the plane. Seriously, she is awesome.

During the flight Rhys and I counted it up- Eleri has been on 16 flights in her short little life. Of those 16, 10 have been international flights. And out of all of those flights, this trip has been the most fantastic. Sleeping baby pretty much the whole time. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

So we are here and enjoying ourselves. It is good to be back.

remembering

2011-09-11T03:54:00.002+01:00

My favorite college breakfast was an egg, sausage, and cheese biscuit from the cafe in the LRC. I got one nearly everyday until the money on my card ran out. That morning was no exception. I slept through my alarm, but was not willing to sacrifice my breakfast sandwich so I did the only thing that made sense, I skipped class. As I was waiting for my food, my friend Pablo came into the cafe and said "your country is being attacked" I thought I misunderstood, or he was kidding, or he had misunderstood. I took my sandwich and ran back to my dorm room as fast as I could.

I flipped on the TV, sandwich long forgotten now, and watched in horror as an airplane came hurtling through the sky and plowed straight into one of the towers of the World Trade Center.

You could hear screams and cries up and down the halls of the dorm. I was dumbfounded. What was happening? I stared at the TV with tears streaming down my face. I had friends in the Trade Center. Were they alive? My brother was in law school in New York, was he ok? I just didn't understand; I don't think anyone did.

As the day went on and news of the Pentagon and Flight 93 in Pennsylvania came through, it gradually dawned on us all that America was being attacked. It was sobering and terrifying.

I remember picking up the phone and desperately dialing Joe. 212.642.3442. over and over and over again that day. I wasn't sure what I was even going to say, I just wanted to know that he was alive. No news. No word. Nothing. 3 days later I got a call. He made it out because he was late to work that day and had not made it all the way to the top. His fiance and his best friend went in on time, straight up to the 105th floor. They didn't make it out. What do you say to that? Nothing would ever be good enough.

September 11, 2001 changed our world forever. Thousands of people were taken away from their families and friends. Thousands of people who were just doing their normal daily routines were, in a matter of hours, trapped in a nightmare no one would have ever imagined.

Stories have emerged over the past 10 years, heartbreaking stories that remind us just how frail humanity is. Stories of pain and of courage. Stories of strength and of despair. Reminders of how in an instant our entire world can come crashing in around us. As I watched the towers crumble that day, tears pouring down my face, I remember feeling so helpless, so distraught. Just seconds earlier people were clinging to the windows of the towers, waving shirts and papers, desperately trying to get the attention of someone, anyone who could rescue them. Seconds later the towers lay in a heap of burring rumble. Something struck me that day that 10 years later is even stronger. "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for another" (John 15:13) I was watching in safety while hundreds of people made the choice to act. Hundreds choose to put someone elses life in front of theirs, hundreds died while saving hundreds more. As the anniversary approaches and stories from survivors come pouring in, we are reminded.

Reminders of men like Frank De Martini who was on the 88th floor of the North Tower. He was having coffee with his wife when the plane hit 5 floors above him. He, along with another man Pablo, managed to safely evacuate his entire floor. Instead of exiting the building with his staff, and his wife, the two men made the choice to go up. They made it to the 91st floor, rescuing 77 people who were trapped and would have otherwise perished. Their courage and selflessness saved the lives of dozens and dozens of others. Not just the people themselves, but their families as well.

I wish I knew specific details about each and every firefighter, emergency worker, police officer and port authority worker that selflessly sacrificed their lives and families for hte sake of others. But I don't. What I do know is that there are over 400 dead seervice men and women who made the choice that day to serve, regardless of what it would cost them. These people tirelessly fought their way through burring steel, blinding smoke and unimaginable danger to do whatever they could to save another. In the process they died, but what a legacy they left.

The men and women of Flight 93 fought the same way. They made the choice to stand up in the face of adversity. With the news of other hijacked planes hitting targets on the ground these people showed unbelievable strength and courage to do everything that was within their power to keep their plane from being next. As it went down in that Pennsylvania field, the families of those left behind can be proud of the courage showed by every passenger on that plane.

I will always remember that morning in the LRC and my breakfast sandwich. I will never forget the attacks on the country. I collected newspapers and articles everyday for 2 weeks after September 11 with the intention of having first hand accounts to share with my children one day; to explain what happened that tragic day and how Americans pulled together to show great compassionate and courage. I want my kids to know why it is such a significant day in our history.

But can we do more than remember? Often times when there is a tragedy we have a tendecney to sensationalize. It becomes more about us and telling our story rather than what we can do to the people deeply affected. September 11th is not something that we can simply put down to new, annoying airline restrictions or extra taxes. It was a real and deadly event that thousands are still paying the ultimate price for today. So again I ask myself what can we do?

It has been mentioned that people are getting "911 fatigue" it was 10 years ago and people just want to move on, stop giving, stop helping. But what does that do for everyone else? What does that kind of attitude offer to the people who so selflessly gave their all? what about their children, their families?

There is an organization called Tuesday's Children. It is a non-profit set up with the goal to help each and every child directly affected by the September 11th attacks. They not only provide the needed enjoyable, relaxing activities but also essential counseling, mentoring and support to kids whose entire world fell apart that day. AS a mother myself it really strikes a cord. Just because the actual attacks were 10 years ago, does that make the need any less? No child should have to grow up without a mom or a dad- or in some cases, without both. Over the past 5 years this organization, which is the only one of its kind, has lost over half of its funding. "911 fatigue" at its finest.

You can say that there are tragedy's everyday. and there are. You can say that worse things are happening all over the world than what happened on September 11th. And that is probably true. You can probably come up with a hundred other things to do and care about and a hundred other things that demand your time and attention. But these kids need some attention. They need to be remembered. And I will remember. I will remember the pain and desperation I felt as I watched part of my world crumble around me. I will remember the frailty of life as I think about the thousands that lost theirs that day. And I will always remember the courage and resolve that Americans showed to one another, and to the nation, as they sacrificed so much for each other.

Eleri will grow up in world very different to the one I grew up in. She will never get to say goodbye to someone at the gate and watch an airplane fly away. She will never walk up to national monuments with ease. She will never go to the top of the Statue of Libery. She wont ever be able to just walk around the Capitol building. But those are all small changes. September 11 changed Eleri's life, but not nearly in the way it changed the children who lost everything. So, in an effort to do more than just remember, for every person that leaves a comment I will give a donation to the charity Tuesday's Children. I feel like it is the least I can do. The least I can do as a mother, as a citizen of this great country, as someone who so vividly remembers that day.

Let us honor with our thoughts, words and prayers all those thousands of people who lost so much that fateful day in September, 10 years ago.

"you life WAS..."

2011-09-09T02:44:00.005+01:00

so exciting, so adventurous, fun, busy, a dream come true....and any number of other complimenting descriptors.

Key word of those sentences? WAS Your life was so exciting. your life was so adventurous. you were living a dream come true.

apparently i am no longer exciting. and to prove that fact, my blogger 'following list' has actually lost 6 people since I moved to America. since I only write about things that are going on currently, i can only assume that I am simply not that interesting on this side of the ocean.

Remember those posts where I talked about people offering me unsolicited baby advice? That type of unsolicited comment has not happened in America; oh no, it is another type of comment altogether. the WAS comments. Why people feel it is ok to say things like "man your life was so fun. too bad you moved back" hmmm...so does that mean that not only am I boring now, but you also wanted me to stay far away? I dont really feel that way, I know what people are trying to say. At least I think i do most of the time.

But it does present the question: Is life not fun in Tulsa?

I am having a bit harder time adjusting to life in America than I thought I would. And by 'a bit' read a tremendously difficult, kick you in your teeth, want to cry and scream and move back to the UK kind of time. Some days are great and some days are not so great. But I can say that I did not expect any of it to be this difficult. Some days I would sacrifice chick-fil-a if it meant I could live in London (i know, shock, horror) Some days I cant imagine living in a place where you could simultaneously sit on the toilet, brush your teeth in the sink and have your feet in the bathtub- all while touching the opposite wall. some days I would rather cut off my own hand than live in London. some days i would cut off my own hand to live in London. it's an emotional roller coaster ride to say the least.

but what about my 'new life' as people say. is that one not fun? can it not be fun? I always fancied myself a bit of an adventurer. I was never one to steer away from the unknown. to a degree that must change when children enter the picture, but perhaps living in small town middle america, i just need to make a bigger effort to make my life an adventure. Sure my days include car rides to Target instead of a tube ride to Big Ben. and I go to Hunter Park down the road instead of Hyde Park. But at the end of the day, a park is a park. it is what you make of the time spent inside the park that counts.

so readers that have decided I am too boring, I say phooey! I am just as exciting today as I was last year. Especially with presidential debates and elections coming up you can expect some exciting political posts (yay, right?) If you have stuck with me through the ups and downs of the blog the last few months, thanks. I appreciate the faithfulness. even in the presence of my mundane new life ;)

you gotta love him

2011-09-08T03:00:00.002+01:00

I was sitting down talking with my dad this evening and the conversation went soemthing like this:

dad: those things, you know those, they are pretty fun.

me: what things?

dad: oh you know those (and he gestures to the TV where a spirit commerical is featuring a flash mob)

me: a flash mob?!

dad: yeah, those. there pretty cool, for cool people like me. I like to do those, you know. just cause.

and what do you say to that?

because my dad is just pretty awesome really. This is the same guy who gave me a big, purple, blow-up hippo floaty swim ring my sophomore year of college with the words "take this, cause you just never know"

hmm....thats right dad. I just never know when I might need an over sized child's pool toy whilst in college. again, awesome.

Basically my dad is just pretty darn cool. From his sometimes cheesy, sometimes dry, sometimes just plain hilarious sense of humor to his general demeanor he is pretty awesome. and look out, you may seem him at the next flash mob.

2012

2011-08-31T20:35:00.003+01:00

I started running long distances in 2000. Only sporadically and really only to get in shape. But the longer I ran, the more I enjoyed it. It was a time to think, process, get away, feel good about myself- and get in shape. It was a win-win situation. In 2004 I discovered that I truly loved running. I started running regularly, keeping particular paces, and training for long distance runs. 2004 was also the year that I ran my first half marathon.

To say I loved it would be an understatement. I have never used drugs, but I liken the pull on my body, mind and soul to run more to the desperate need for the next fix- whatever the cost. I couldn't get running out of my head. The week after that first race I got an index card and drew an American flag on the background. In big black permanent marker I wrote '2012' across the middle. I hung it on my mirror for years after that. Why? Because I was determined that I would run in the 2012 Olympics. My event? The marathon.

To me it made perfect sense; I had done my research. Christine Clark won the US Olympic trails in 2000 with a time of 2 hours and 33 minutes. She was a 37 year old mother of two who had only recently picked up running. She only trained on her treadmill. She ran in the Sydney Olympics. Another example, Ingrid Kristiansen. At one time she held the world record for the 5,000 meter, 10,000 meter, half marathon and full marathon. She has won the London marathon 4 times, the Boston marathon 2 times and the New York marathon once. She picked up running late in life and often trained on a treadmill. If they could do it so could I right?

Or so I told myself.

It is now nearly September in 2011. The Olympics trails have come and gone for 2012. In case you were wondering, I did not make the Olympic team. Between 2004 when I first put my Olympic sign up and now, I have run over 1,500 miles in races and many times that in training. Between the 5K's, 10K's, 15K's, half and full marathons I have covered a lot of ground. But it is not the miles run, but how well you run those miles.

Did I run those miles well enough to be a marathon runner in the 2012 London Olympics? No. Did I do any of those miles well? Sure. At one point I was running somewhere between 8-12 miles a day at 7.30 minute miles. But it wasn't done well enough, consistently enough. and that has me thinking.

Do I 'do' life well?

I am a goals type person; I like making far reaching lists full of big dreams and slightly unrealistic goals. But what do I actually do in my everyday life to try and achieve them? Do I spend my time well, being intentional or do I simply plod along taking the easy way out? Just as I would traing for a marathon, I need to be training my mind and body to be disciplined and faithful to God, my family and my surrounding. But am I?

Ummm.... probably not. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I am lazy, but I am not brilliant with time management. It sounds nicer when I say it that way- time management. I get distracted easily and end up more often that not putting time and energy into the wrong things. I am doing things, doing life, but just like those miles I ran, I am not doing them well.

God does not call us to perfection. But he does call us to be content and have a grateful heart. God is not disappointed with me because I am not part of the 2012 Olympic team. But am I pleasing God when I constantly complain about my living situation? or when I wallow in my self pity because I want a situation to work out differently? I am still doing life, I am just not doing it well. In theory 8 years would have been enough time to train, run, compete and make it to the Olympics. But it wouldn't have mattered it I had 8 years or 18 years. I was never going to truly run well enough to make it.

I dont want that to be my life. I dont want to look back in another 8 years and think 'hmm....that didn't go so well' I can make choices to think positively and be grateful, even when things are not always as pleasant or perfect as I think they ought to be. I can make the choice to learn discipline, to practice discipline and to actually live my days out well. I could probably make a choice to try and run a little better too. I tried to run today and could barely make it 2 miles! Man, I am out of shape. and in the grand scheme of life, that is ok. I dont have to be a marathon runner to live a contented, God seeking life. But I do have to have commitment and dedication to Christ to live a contented, God seeking life. Settling for the mediocre wont cut it. Only running well part of the time is not good enough.

I have no real conclusion to this. Only some thoughts brought on by some time spent at the pool today. I went with a new friend and her boys. I may have only known her for a few months but she has become such a dear friend to my heart. Instead of fully enjoying my time, i was grumpy. and mopey, and wallowing a bit in the unfortunate-ness of some of my circumstances. There was no gratefulness of where I was at that moment. No little whispers of praise for a wonderful friend. just grumpy. Thankfully my friend is wonderful and she understood. we will hang out again. But it got me thinking.

I need to practice living well. not some of the time, or when it is easy, or when I feel like it. But all the time. If only it were as easy to do as it is to type out! And who knows, maybe the Olympics are still in my future. Christine Clark was 37- that gives me another 8 years to train! and train well.

Tesco

2011-08-30T19:26:00.007+01:00

This is Tesco.

To be exact, this is a picture of the Tesco that I frequented for the years I lived in London. For those unfamiliar with Tesco, it is the British equivalent of Walmat. There are some major differences- at Walmat you can get your oil changed while you grocery shop and buy at gun complete with ammunition. At Tesco you are pretty much limited to food, clothes and gardening tools. But they share the concept of large, super store with long hours.

I love Tesco. Yes, love.

(the above is a picture of the Tesco in Merythr, the one I used when we lived in Wales)

Today I went to Walmat. I wished it was Tesco. If I am honest, every time I go to the grocery store I miss the UK. Not for the food or the selection or organization. I miss UK grocery stores, Tesco in particular, because I miss being able to bag my own food. I can honestly say that it is something I had never consciously thought about, but it is so true.

I know this picture is not brilliant, but it was the best one I could find. You bring your basket to the check out. The check out people then scan your items and place them on a conveyor belt to ride to the end of the line where a big(ish) bagging area awaits them. You bag as your items come. once you are finished bagging, you pay and are on your way.

No hassle of 'oh I brought my own bags' and then dealing with the stares and loud, annoyed sighs. No going home to find smashed bread and bruised fruit because the teenage boy bagging your groceries could care less. You get to bag the way you want, with whatever bags you choose. It was easy for me; an easier way than what I deal with at walmat every time I go.

So even though it seems like a random little thing, I miss Tesco and the pleasure it added to my grocery experience being able to bag my own items.

Anyone know of a grocery store around that lets you still bag your own items? Or anyone completely disagree with me and are glad that stores do it for you? Curious your opinions on this.

almost like a vacation

2011-08-26T19:03:00.005+01:00

this past week when have been house sitting for some lovely friends, Brad and Lisa. It has been beyond words wonderful. Not only has eleri enjoyed playing with new toys like toy cars and train sets (they have 2 boys) but we have enjoyed the space to be a family of 3. In reality this is the longest time in 14 months that we have spent in our own space, just the 3 of us. It was heavenly. And even though rhys still had work everyday, it almost felt like a little vacation. Man, I cant wait until we get our own house.

In other news, Eleri had her first day of school!

I have decided to do a mix of at home teaching and 'school.' Looking at eleri's personality, I really feel like she is ready, and wants/needs to be around other kids. This was proven true yesterday when I went to drop her off. I told her goodbye and asked for a hug and kiss. She blew me a kiss then shook her little finger and said 'no mommy, you go. go' then she turned and took off to play. and she never looked back. 5 later when I went to go pick her up? she had been fine all day. no problems at all. Not even any potty accidents. She asked to go each and every time in a totally new environment. even poop! yeah, she is pretty awesome. and evidently, very ready to start exploring some things on her own. I am so proud.

So Tuesday/Thursday the little one will go to school and then Monday/Wednesday/Friday we will do play/hands on learning at home. I am very excited about the start of the new 'school' year and the possibilities ahead for us. As I type this, I am also very grateful that I have a child that is interested in reading/learning/school. Education and academia are very important to me and I am glad that it is something my daughter and I can do together and both enjoy. I feel truly blessed.

speaking of said daughter, she now wants my attention so off i go. Enjoy your weekends!

18 August 2007

2011-08-18T18:34:00.004+01:00

Our Wedding Day.

Year 1 (celebrating in London. Trafalgar Square)

Year 2 (celebrating in Callea, Spain)

Year 3 (celebrating in Paris)

So here's to year 4. I am celebrating 4 years of marriage to the most incredible, most amazing man in the whole world. I thought he was perfect when we met and I still think he is perfect today. I couldn't imagine life without him. Rhys is pretty awesome. Cheers to us!

a new friend

2011-08-16T20:13:00.002+01:00

this little guy

has recently made an appearance in our household. a little penguin that comes in his very own little igloo carrying case seems pretty cute. and it is. except every 4 hours when the little fella has to be filled with medicine and e has to have a breathing treatment.

We have been told before that e has childhood asthma. but we didn't really buy it. I know, awesome parenting to discount what the doctor says. but she never really seemed bothered by it except in rare instances, so we didn't think much of it. But it has flared up again. and her breathing and coughing could not be regulated by anything but our new little penguin friend.

our days (and nights) have been pretty consumed with breathing treatments, mickey mouse and lots of cuddles. we are decreasing the treatments to every 6 hours now, so at least we will all be getting a bit more sleep. hopefully little e will be on the mend soon!

until then, we are off for some more 'penguin medicine' as eleri calls it. bless her.

a new semester

2011-08-10T19:54:00.003+01:00

I have been out of full time school since 2006. Sure I did some school work here and there in London, but all part time. Nothing to warrant truly living by semesters. But yet still do. Live by semesters that is.

As we reach the middle of August, school will welcome students back and the carefree days of summer will draw to a close, I find myself gearing up for a new year. Even though my days are pretty much the same because I only have one child and she is not school aged yet- I still am preparing for a new start.

and it has me thinking...

What it is about semesters that make it so much easier for me to function? Already I am finding it easier to get back into a routine just thinking about the start of school. And no one I know is even going back to school! It is just a nice way to divide up the year, a good time to start again and an easy time to get some resolve.

So with that I have my 'New Semester List' A list of things from August to December that I want to accomplish/learn/do/try etc....

-Learn Calligraphy
-enroll E in football (soccer- the husband wont let me refer to it as anything other than football)
-sand, paint and recover the 2 chairs I got for free
-date night to the Blue Dome
-finally have our own space
-really and truly make a budget and stick to it
-make a headboard for our bed
-save $500 a month
-effectively pack for London in September. NO over packing
-make the 'card' book for rhys
-send monthly packages/pictures to the williams' on the other side of the ocean
-write an article
-get eleri's 2 year pictures
-incorporate Diana into our everyday life (more on Diana later)
-paint a canvas picture with eleri
-make a photo book of the last 3 years
-read 4 books
-plan the Jan/Feb vacation

Perhaps I will add to the list later. or maybe this is how it will stay, but for right now I am excited about the new semester and what is ahead for Team Williams.

lots of my mind....and my plate

2011-08-02T19:49:00.002+01:00

-We have officially purchased a lot! woo hoo for a big piece of land. who knew that one could get so excited over grass and some rocks. Our lot is pretty awesome though. not only does it face a pond and have a giant backyard space- the fact that we have purchased some land means that we are that much closer to actually getting our own space. woo hoo again!

-tickets have been purchased for our return trip to London. Since we originated in the UK when we flew here in April, we had a return back to the UK, but nothing back to America. We have rectified the situation and are now going to London in September and coming back the first week in October. very excited.

-it has been confirmed that we will have a new little niece or nephew the 5th of August. Rhys sister is due and having a c-section on Friday!! it is a surprise as to the sex of the baby so it makes Friday even more exciting. can't wait to see what it is!

- eleri is officially enrolled in school for the fall. we were on some waiting lists and i couldn't decide exactly where i wanted her to go, but it has been settled. she will be going tuesday/thursday all day starting 25 august. I am excited for the time to myself and eleri is excited to go. she asks about it quite often.

-I have recently become obsessed with pinterest. seriously, it takes up way more of my time than it should. But it is just so awesome. and some of the ideas of there are incredible.

-speaking of being obsessed, i have recently become obsessed with this map wall. I have always wanted a big wall of picture frames, but was never sure if it would be family pictures of what. after seeing this, i think it has been decided. This is awesome!! thanks awesome blog I will now obsessively follow!

-Rhys' birthday was yesterday. He is the most awesome person in the world, so he needed an extra awesome birthday present. Last year I gave him Paris as his present. Since it was extremely unrealistic to go to France this year, I gave him Memphis and Rugby instead. This weekend we are headed to Memphis, Tennessee with our good friends Jason and Sarah for the boys to play in a 7's rugby tournament all weekend. Rhys is thrilled. He has never been to Memphis before and he wants to play rugby so badly it hurts. a perfect birthday present!

-i have 3 projects i a working on. ok, 2 that i am really working on a 3rd that i have recently decided to start 'working on' since i discovered the map wall. 1.) refinishing some chairs. 2.) making a giant picture frame/jewelry holder and newly minted 3.) collecting maps. I am excited and it keeps me occupied.

and now the little one is starting to stir so I suppose I better go do the things I actually needed to do before she woke up from her nap.

2 years old

2011-07-28T20:30:00.002+01:00

To my precious Eleri,

You are 2. I can hardly believe it. I know that it sounds like a cheesy mom thing to say, but I remember the day that you were born like it was yesterday. Let me correct that; I remember certain things about that day as clear as if it were something that happened 5 minutes ago.

I remember that I listened to Jack Johnson and Stereophonics on repeat the entire labour/birth process. To this day, those are your favourite. Sure you like 'wheels on the bus' and 'itsy, bitsy spider' but put on some jack or the phonics and you rock out like nothing else. Looks like good music was instilled in you from the beginning.

I remember wanting your daddy by my side the entire time. Not once did he leave me. You carry that same attachment to your daddy. From the minute you were born, you had your daddy's heart. You can make him laugh, cry and dance around like a fool like no one else can. The day you were born 2 years ago, you daddy did everything to make sure you were ok. His attitude towards you has not changed one bit. He would lay down his life if it meant you would have a better one. I will never forget the look on your daddy's face the first time he saw you. And I will never get tired of seeing that same look, full of love and affection, every time he looks at you. It is a bond that cannot be broken.

I remember the very second that you were born. It was a mix of utter relief and intense fear. You were dark purple. and you were not breathing. I was afraid that there was something wrong. I was afraid you might not make it through. I had not even seen you for more than 5 minutes in the real world and my heart was ripping in two at the thought of losing you. It was a long 5 or 6 minutes until you started to cry and breath normally. In the grand scheme of life, 5 minutes is not long. But precious little one, mommy thought you were slipping away, and with you my entire heart. I have never heard such a beautiful noise as the first sounds you made. You may have been purple for a while, but what a beautiful purple baby you were.

The past two years have been full of memories. We have shared some wonderful times as a family and some rough times too. In your 2 years of life we have moved between 3 different countries and countless houses. You have travelled and experienced more in your short life than most adults. And the amazing thing is the grace and flexibility with which you do it. you are incredibly laid back, it takes a lot to 'ruffle your feathers' so to speak. You have handled our family transitions so well, sweet pea. Not even 4 months ago we moved to a country that you had only visited 3 times before. The people, the weather, the time zone- everything was different. And you adapted so well. You are so easy going, it is a joy to watch. Mommy can learn a lot from your sweet spirit and gentle nature.

Maybe it is the fact that you are so curious. You love to explore and learn new things. You are not afraid of anything. You jump right in. You literally jump right in when it comes to the pool- face first, underwater like you were born to do. It won't be too long before you are swimming unassisted. and you are only 2! you are willing to try new things no matter what they are. Granted, you are a bit more reserved when it comes to trying new food, but we are working on that. You are friendly and outgoing; your truly do not know a stranger. Even at 2 we are able to see so much of your personality shine through and what an amazing little person you are!

As far as accomplishments, there are far too many to mention. These past 2 years you have amazed daddy and me in a new way everyday. You know your colours, shapes (even funny shapes like octagon and hexagon) your Numbers to 10 and are even getting the numbers in Welsh. You are talking now and it is precious to hear your putting words together to form little, eleri sentences. I wish I could put into words how much you comprehend, but I dont know how to explain it. You are a genius. plain and simple. As for toys, Mickey and Minnie mouse are you favourite, but nothing can break the bond between you and your dog Oliver. He still goes everywhere with us.

I dont know what you will be when you grow up, and I don't know if the things that you like now will be the things you like in a year from now. But if today is anything to go on- you will be an athlete. Your hand eye coordination is incredible. You love balls and you especially love to kick. Daddy and I are putting you in soccer in the fall and I can't wait to see your face when you get to run around and kick balls on a giant field. You are so tough, so strong and so rough and tumble. You love anything that involves energy and I can't wait to see where that takes you.

Mommy and Daddy are incredibly proud of you, Eleri. In only 2 years you have filled our lives with more joy than we could have ever thought possible. I started off this letter telling you the things I remembered about the day you were born. So I will leave you with this one last thing. A few hours after you were born, and everyone had left for the night, it was just me and you. It was around midnight and I was exhausted. Birthing a child is hard work! I had just shut my eyes and was drifting off to sleep when you started to cry. I quickly scooped you up in my arms and started walking around the room. I was so tired and so nervous about it being just me and you that I didn't even know what to say/sing/do to help calm you down. So, through tear filled eyes, I started reciting my favourite Bible verses to you and within minutes you were still. You had wrapped your little hand around my finger and when I looked down at your face, there was a tiny smile. I know they say a baby a few hours old is too young to smile, but there it was. a smile. just for mommy. My heart melted and I knew my life would never be the same.

You are my little miracle Eleri. I could not dream of anything better for my life than to have you in it. I have so many hopes and dreams for you, but most of all my prayer for you is that just like that first night in the hospital, the word of God will always speak to your heart and govern your life. You are an incredible blessing not just to mommy and daddy, but to everyone you meet. I can't believe you are already 2. It has been an incredible 2 years, I can't wait for many more.

With more love than you could imagine,

Mommy

mommy blog vs academia

2011-07-20T19:58:00.006+01:00

*this turned into a fairly long post with no pictures....just a word of warning. but it's personal and good and it's my blog so I can write long posts :)

I blog, obviously. In fact most people I know blog, or at least have a blog that they occasionally post on. For the most part, I enjoy reading blogs. I have found helpful household tips, recipes and even the funny kid story that I share with Rhys. It is a great way to keep in touch with friends that live far away and a great way for us to share our lives with family that is overseas. I am a fan of blogging.

I started this blog in January of 2008 after I had been in London a few months. Typically I am behind technologically so everyone else had been blogging for about 5 years before me. that's just how I role; put it off as long as possible, boycott all advancements and then jump in with two feet. It was fun though and I wanted to be a part. Writing about European politics, life on a commuter train, pub nights in London, rugby, European travel and throw in some more politics.

Then I found out I was pregnant. Overnight my blog morphed into a 'mommy blog' discussing pregnancy, morning sickness, birthing, poppy diapers and the like. Rarely were politics mentioned let alone anything else. On special occasions such as Remembrance Day, Pearl Harbor, September 11th, etc..., I would dedicate a post. The tragic deaths of the last remaing World War I war hero's also got a mention. But those post were few and far between.

Gradually my writing technique and style began to diminish. They say you lose brain cells with each child. I thought they were pretty stupid. But maybe it's true? Maybe I have become such a poor writer because the only things I write about any more are little e's latest accomplishments.

Don't get me wrong, what eleri does is beyond awesome. I want to record and capture every little moment so I have it saved forever. She amazes me every day in a million different ways and I couldn't imagine even one day without her. Even though I love (and sometimes crave) my space during nap time, some days I miss her during her 3 hour snooze. I love the little one and without question will continue to write about her.

But what about other things? I did not start this blog to be a 'mommy blog' nor do I desire it to stay that way. There are so many other things out there that I want to write about, so many other things that are important. Not to keep mentioning the over arching 'they', but they do say to be careful not to lose your own indintity to that of your kids, family, husband, work... It is important to stay focused on other things as well right?

When I read some other blogs out there it seems the only other thing people focus on is what craft project to do next, how to make a bow or what they got on their latest shopping trip. Ok, ok I realise that that was a horrible generalization that not only makes me sound arrogant and harsh but also downplays other peoples interests. That is not what I mean. Let me try this another way. I like crafts, I love to shop, and while bows are not my favourite they way that some people make them is pretty cool. But I feel stuck in the middle. When I read about how awesome some other stay at home mom is I often find myself feeling inadequte. But when I read about how great someone else manages their work and home life I, again, feel a little crap. An obvious answer is not to compare. But it is more than just that. I want to be a mom and do other things. Stuck in the middle.

I want to fight for social justice and make a pillow. I want to go to the mall, buy some things from the gap and start a reading program for kids from poor neighborhoods. I want to have 4 kids and have my PhD in military history. The thing is, I can not find a way to make all of those things work. Maybe that is why it seems people fall into two categories- stay at home mom or work full time mom. Can you stay at home, be involved with your kids and run a reading program for inner city kids? Logistically how would that work out?

I think I lost track of how to even try and make it work. I didn't see how it could, so I didn't really try. It is awesome to stay home with e all day, so I do. We play, read, learn, swim, eat a lot and then play some more. My days are awesome and fulfilling. My blog and my writing show only this side. Eleri. Wife. Mother.

What about the other sides?

When I was living in Wales I posted this about wanting to live in Suburbia. I am living here now and sometimes I feel like it is choking the life out of me. Does that make me a 'grass is always greener' kind of person? Wanting what I don't have, wishing for something else? I live in an affordable place where ele, rhys and I can have a house and our own space in the very near future. and all I want our flat in London. Do I just want what I cant have?

I have thought about that a lot and I think I have reached an answer. It is not that I have a 'grass is always greener' mentality, I just need a way to fulfill/achieve/reach all the different aspects of Kristina.

When I first moved to London I applied to start my PhD work. I was accepted into an awesome program and thought I would have my doctorate in 3 years. As part of the process I had to submit my masters thesis for the faculty to peruse. One of the advisers at the university is a very well known and highly respected World War I historian. He is the historian for my area of study. Like Michael Jordan in Basketball or Pele in soccer. You get the picture. He read and actually liked my thesis. The day I had that conversation ranks in top 3 of best moments of my life. Meeting Rhys, having Eleri and that moment. If I could, I would take that moment and frame it, hang it on my wall and relive it everyday.

But it didn't go as planned. I got pregnant, school and morning sickness didn't mix and I wanted to focus my attention on my newborn when she arrived. Graduate studies, research and dissertation writing no longer fit in. Which brings me to a few months ago. I received an email saying that I had been recommend by the afore mentioned gentleman as well as my graduate advisor for a PhD program at Victoria University, Wellington, New Zealand. It was a dream come true. A scholarship to study exactly what I wanted to. I could be a mom and get my PhD. No more mommy blogging for me. Except that didn't go exactly as planned either.

We can't move to New Zealand because of Rhys' green card status. I can not be the kind of parent I want to be to Eleri and work on my PhD. I can not even think about having another child whilst in the program and we want more kids. Remember, I want 4. NO matter how I pushed and pulled our life, we could not make it fit. It did not make it easier that the school sent 3 more request, nor was it easier that it was a full scholarship. I had to choose- mommy blog or academia.

Ok, so I know I can't really put it in those terms because a lot more plays into it that just that. Very few decisions in life are that cut and dry. But a choice had to be made and whatever was decided, something would be sacrificed. I just could not sacrifice my family. So I am staying put in Tulsa. Occasionally my dreams will transport me to a dimly lit room, full of letters and journals dating back to the early 1900's, in the back of the National Archives, New Zealand; but for the most part I will relish my chance to raise eleri and future williams' the way I want. And enjoy as much pool time as possible.

As for the blog? Well, I have to change it a bit. The dilemma about school vs family has recently come to a close and with that comes a realisation that a sacrifice I don't have to make it history. Even though some of my very dear friends make bows, I do not have to. And that is ok. I can paint with eleri, sew a pillow and write a post detailing the life of an artillery man on western front in southern Belgium in 1917. No one may actually read said post, but I can write it nonetheless. My blog, and my life, can be whatever I make it.

As the old song says 'You can't always get what you want' may be true, but sometimes what you least except (or desire) can be even more incredible than what you had imagined. So I am looking forward to writing about Eleri and all the awesome thing she does. Like have I mentioned how she will stick her face in the water and kick her legs, 'swimming' for a few minutes? I am also looking forward to spending some time writing about history and trying to get some articles published. Who knows, maybe now is when I start writing my book.

E's 2nd Birthday!

2011-07-18T20:25:00.017+01:00

For about a month I have been thinking/planning/making/inviting/making/and then planning some more for Eleri's 2nd birthday. I realize that a month may seem like a long time, but I love birthdays. love, love, love birthdays. And just in case that wasn't clear- I love birthdays. It is not the presents, but the celebration.

Growing up my parents always made a big deal out my birthday. It wasn't that I was showered with gifts, but they made me feel so special and important on my big day. It was all about me. I got to choose my party, we went out to eat and I got to choose the restaurant and then we had cake time back at home and we all talked as a family. And it was wonderful. I grew up loving birthdays and still love them today. I go overboard for Rhys' birthday. Heck, last year he got a trip to Paris. (this year will be WAY toned down- sorry Rhys, no trips for you) Now that little e is in the picture, I am sure I will go over board for her too.

At the moment, ele really likes Mickey. Remember my love for birthdays explained above? That is probably only a tenth of how much eleri loves mickey mouse. So it was an easy decision when it came to party planning. My only problem became that Mickey Mouse, or anything Disney for that matter, is not the cheapest. So making as much as I could became the way to go. Hence the month of making, planning, making and then some more making. Mickey on a budget- and it was so much fun.

The end result was perfect. I always create unrealistic expectations of events/people/parties etc... and nothing ever seems to live up to it. But her party was perfection. I couldn't have wished for anything to go better than it did. Plus eleri loved it. It was a lot of work, but completely worth it to see her face the day of her party. so much joy and excitement- I almost wish everyday could be her birthday. (uh, ok probably not every day....)

One think I will keep in mind for future party planning, never make invitations that involve stitching. It may look nice, but it takes way too much time.

Once the invitations were done and sent out, everything else just fell into place. Bright puff balls hung out by the pool

party bags painted, set up and ready to go

54' in Mickey and Minnie balloons to greet party-goers at the door

I spent quite a few hours scouting around for these balloons. Because of E's obsession with Mickey and Minnie, I knew these fellas would make the perfect addition. After finding prices ranging from $65 to $35 each, I scored an amazing deal on Amazon and got the pair for $12! Her face was awesome when she walked into the house and saw them for the first time. She kept saying 'here minnie, hand" and walking around with them holding their hands. I was afraid she might explode with excitement when Rhys told her she got to take them home. "minnie, mickkkk me? for me? me?!!"

the cousins came

as well as old and new friends

even stef and liam even made the drive from Arkansas! All in all we have 21 adults and 12 kids.

We had chick-fil-a for lunch and it didn't even last long enough for me to get a picture of the table full and set! That is by far the best party food ever. If I am honest, chick-fil-a is just the best food ever, period.

Aside from the giant balloons, I think Eleri's highlight was the cupcake.

Rhys and I were, and still are to an extent, pretty strict in terms of what sweets eleri can and can't eat. She had never had cake, chocolate, a cupcake or really candy of any kind until her party. We let her pick out a cupcake and then eat the whole thing. I have never seen her shovel something in her mouth so quickly.

In fact, she liked it so much that she tried to steal a second one off the table when she thought we weren't looking.

After swimming, food, cake, and some more swimming, we had a pinata to finish off the party. E got some good hits in!

After the party, we headed back to my parents for some cake and present time. Of course the giant balloons had to come.

We opend up the presents that all her friends broguth her and she couldn't get enough of the doll and stroller. (thanks janet and christy!)

e also got an amazing drum/music set. one of the coolest gifts I have ever seen. it was also pretty cool to see the little one walking around with a drum around her neck. (thanks, fiona)

And while I dont have pictures, it must also be mentioned that she got a HUGE floor puzzle that she insisted on doing the minute she unwrapped it, a great set of threading blocks that she walks around with and an amazing childrens bible (thanks Ally, Lisa and Stef)

I know I said it before, but it was a great day. I couldn't have wished for anything else. everyone enjoyed, especially eleri. Her smile was priceless.

random-ness

2011-07-13T20:18:00.003+01:00

some days i love living in tulsa. some days i hate it. we have been here almost 3 months and it is not as easy as i thought it would be. i wonder what i would say if someone offered me a terraced house in watford. would i take it?

i am still processing a lot of these type of thoughts so instead of focusing on that, i will leave you with this awesome picture of eleri. man, that kid can jump!

this year vs. last year: the 4th.

2011-07-11T20:32:00.010+01:00

Last year on the 4th of July, Team Williams was in Paphos, Cyprus. Here we are on the evening of the 4th, enjoying a nice, relaxing Greek dinner.

Eleri was looking super British in her full coverage, one piece suit as she splashed around in the sea. The same sea that the Apostles splashed around in. (ok, maybe they were not splashing so much as teaching people about Jesus)

But there were signs every where, letting you know they had been there.

We visited ruins....

and then some more ruins...

But there was no cook out in the neighborhood. We didn't see American flags waving on every corner, on every house. No patriotic songs were heard and although I made everyone in the family wear red, white and blue- all in all it was a normal day. No special mention of America. And even though I was having an awesome time livin' it up Cyprus style, I was a bit sad. and missed my country.

This 4th of July we were in America. The first in a while for me, and the very first ever for every other member of my family. And let me tell you, we lived it up American style.

Barbecue in the afternoon with my family and grandma; we ate more ribs and hot dogs than you could count. We had some great pool and park time followed by a neighborhood cookout with some of our new friends. Kids running around, fireworks being set off in the street, and more American flags then I have ever seen. As it started to get a bit dark, everyone gathered in the driveway...

and the fireworks began. Eleri was amazed. She found a nice spot next to her friend Silas and enjoyed the show

This was the firework display in Tulsa. Pretty awesome, espeically considering that for years I have had no fireworks on the 4th.

(photo: activerain.com)

Look at her face! she loved it!

I know it is the 11th and this post is a bit late for the 4th of July, but I am a bit slow with the picture uploading. It was fun to compare this year vs. last. Nice to have had both experiences, but great to be in America for Independence Day. Happy 4th!

hello!

2011-07-08T20:37:00.002+01:00

we are here and all is well. it has just been a really, really busy last few weeks. As way of a quick update, we have...

-decided to build a house. we have spent hours (and I mean hours) looking at lots, plans, design etc... and are still in the process of narrowing everything down.

-we have been trying to find cheap tickets to london. a bit of an oxymoron 'cheap tickets to london' but we have a return trip ticket for 22 september. but nothing that gets us from london back to america. we are working on that. seriously folks, how did tickets get so expensive? who has a spare $3,000 lying around? where is easy jet when you need it!

-as long as we are on the subject of trips, we are in the midst of planning a trip to Disney world. Little E is obsessive about Mickey Mouse so we thought it would be great fun. A little tip, use British travel sites to book things in America. 7 nights at a Disney resort, breakfast included, for $354! not each, total. Benefits of knowing where to look!

-we celebrated 4th of July in America for the first time in 6 years. Well, my first time in 6 years- Rhys and Ele's first time ever! it was awesome. pictures to come later...

-did I mention that we are building a house and that takes up a lot of time?

- E is almost two! I decided to go a little crazy this year. you know, like I didn't go crazy last year to...hmmm she had 3 one year party's. guess I just like birthdays. we are doing a mickey theme per eleri's request and it is next weekend. So excited!! and planning this has been super fun. what is not super fun is making mickey mouse invitations that require hand stitching. never again!

-we still go to the pool, and the park, and the splash pads everyday. we are making the most of the sunny, summer weather and it keeps up quite busy!

so that is us in a nut shell. whenever I find the camera, I will post pictures. but until then, happy weekend everyone!

glastonbury.

2011-06-24T20:09:00.003+01:00

knee deep mud, sleeping in tents, non stop rain, no showers or facilities, only snack bars, well and alcohol bars, and about 100,000 people crammed into one space. sound like fun?

what about if I said that U2, Colplay, the Low anthem, beyonce, chemical brothers, kaiser chiefs, cold war kids, paul simon, mumford and sons, white lies, queens of the stone and about 50 other bands and performers were going to be sharing that space too?

now does it sound like fun?

It sure as heck does to me! Wednesday marked the start of the Glastonbury Music Festival. Not familiar with it? go here and check it out. The festival started on a farm in Glastonbury, England in 1970 and has been going strong ever since. It is not a festival for the mild, but for the true music fan with tickets costing hundreds of pounds and the conditions less than favourable. But the music is well worth it. new bands, established bands, bands you will probably never hear of again. it is awesome.

awesome.

Obviously we are not going as it is friday afternoon and I am sitting at my computer in tulsa, oklahoma. but i sure wish I was. The forecast for the weekend is rain and more rain. followed by intense mud and some more rain. and there is no other place that i would rather be. bring on the music!

sigh. maybe 2013.

on potty training (part 2)

2011-06-15T20:40:00.002+01:00

So remember last week when I posted about potty training? I was not ready for it. E had been asking for a while, but I was ok to put it off. until last Monday. She was asking and I couldn't make up excuses anymore.

All during breakfast we talked about the potty and underwear and how she was too big for diapers. As soon as we finished eating, E and I went upstairs and I showed her the drawer in the dresser that held all her new underwear. It was on the very bottom so she could open and shut it herself.

After she picked out a lime green minnie mouse pair, we walked around the house and looked at all the toilets. One bathroom upstairs and one downstairs had little pottys in them. I explained to her all about the bathroom and how she should tell me whenever she thought she needed to go.

That was the start. Every 20 minutes after that we stopped whatever we were doing and went to sit on the potty. I took some of her favourite books with us and we read a couple each time. If she went, I made a really, REALLY big fuss and lots of high-5's were given. If nothing happened, I congratulated her for sitting on the potty and said we would try again later.

After the months and months of her showing interest in the potty the day we actually officially start she could care less. It was a struggle to get her to even want to go into the bathroom. I didn't want to push too hard for fear she would look at it as a punishment, but I also knew that without a diaper on if she didn't use the potty we would have loads of accidents.

and we did. starting about an hour after the diaper came off and continuing all day.

after dinner she seemed to warm to the idea and every 5 minutes she would yell 'potty, potty' and run to the bathroom. she would strain to pee even the tinniest bit and would dance around so proud of herself. and then want to go put her underwear in the wash and get a new pair.

uh, yeah. not quite the point.

and i got discouraged. I know it was only day 1. I know that it is a big deal and can be a process and she is not even two...but I still was discouraged. I posted a status updated on facebook of something to the effect of 'potty training, not as much fun as you might think' Of course everyone and their dog had an opinion about that comment, but I just couldn't understand how she could be so far away from understanding the concept when for months she had been asking to use the toilet. I even went on amazon and bought 4 potty books and a elmo uses the potty dvd.

I was not excited about day 2.

I had always said whenever I started, I wanted to go straight to underwear and only use diapers for nap time/bed time. No pull ups, no switching back and forth. So I was all in. When I woke her up, we went to the draw, picked out some underwear and went straight to the potty. and she peed.

after breakfast she said 'potty, potty' and ran to the bathroom. and peed. and the rest of the day she went on her own and went when I asked. no accidents at all.

Day 3. the same. she asked and went and no accidents.

So on day 4 I decided to go to the pool. I know they say to stay home when potty training, but I am a rule breaker- a maverick if you will. so off the pool we went. We brought our little potty with us and she got out of the pool twice- all on her own- went to the potty and peed. twice. all by herself without me prompting. again, no accidents.

So it went the rest of the week. I stopped asking her and just let her tell me. If it had been a while, I would mention it but if she said no I wouldn't take her. If she said yes, we went and she went. We went to the park, the mall, out to eat and to see friends. She went on big toilets, public toilets and her little potty (which we took with us in the back of the car) She asked to go when she needed to.

And get this- poop and pee. I know, more detail than you wanted, but hey that is pretty amazing. We even went to church on sunday, left her in the church nursery and she asked the teacher in there to use the potty. Twice she went during church, with a stranger, in a strange place, with no accidents!!

So here we are on Wednesday. 9 days after we started potty training and we have been 8 days accident free. She is even dry at nap time. Only in diapers for night. I can't believe I was so uptight on day 1. I would have never imagined that potty training would be this easy. I am blessed, really. Ele is pretty great and I am pretty excited to be done with diapers. Ok, I know we still have night time diapers and I am not about to take those away any time soon, but I am pleased with the day time potty progress. She uses the potty whenever she needs to go! (again too much information I know, but poopy diapers were way easier to clean up than poopy potty!)

and nothing is more adorable than a little girl running around in tiny, tiny minnie mouse underwear. my little one is a big kid now.

My only problem now is messing with amazon returns of 4 potty books and an elmo dvd!

i really like ebay

2011-06-13T19:53:00.004+01:00

I am a BIG fan of ebay. I sell almost everything we dont want/need/use on ebay. I dont make enough to count as an income per say, but it is nice to have a little extra on the side. It is amazing what people will buy, but that is another story, for another time.

I also love ebay for the bargains. 9 times out of 10 before I buy something I check to see if I can get it on ebay (or amazon) I am not sure if everyone is aware of this, but ebay also has stores where they sell brand new things. I realize not everyone is a fan of used, however gently used it may be, but brand new at discounted price is awesome.

For example, E's crib bedding is this awesome set from Pottery Barn. I love Pottery Barn. thats right, love. Love like my life would be a little less complete without Pottery Barn. Serious love. But it is also a seriously expensive love. I have to save and save and save- or receive it as a gift- to get pottery barn. Her crib set was a gift. (thanks mom and gram gram)

As it is now time for big girl bedding, I wanted the same set but in Big Kid size. They have it. Oh, the thrill of knowing I could keep this bedding for the next however many years...ecstatic to put it mildly. Pillows, owl toys, sheets, comforter, more pillows and so on. The total came to well over $400 without tax or shipping. ouch. not in my budget.

So to ebay I went. I found the entire set, the entire set folks, owl toys, pillows and all for less than half. less. than. half. That included shipping as well. All brand new, all in packages, all straight from Pottery Barn to my little girl's bed. Half price. I love Pottery Barn, but I love ebay probably just as much. It was an incredible deal that allowed me to get exactly what I wanted within my budget. awesome.

If you do not use ebay, you should. Ebay is not paying me for this advertisement, but they should really. I can't say enough about the awesome-ness that is ebay for everything. Sometimes you have to spend some time looking through a lot of crap to get what you want, but it is worth the time.

Oh, and here is a picture of her awesome bedding. I will post another set of pictures when it is actually on her bed, in her room...this is just from the PB website.

6 years exactly.

2011-06-10T20:52:00.002+01:00

Exactly six years ago today I met Rhys. I discussed all the details in THIS post, but I couldn't let the 10th of June pass without some special recognition.

If someone had told me in 2005 that in 6 years I would be married to a random British dude that I met in New Zealand and have a 2 year little girl...I probably wouldn't have believed them. But here we are, six glorious years later.

In the grand scheme of life six years is not long. Heck, some of my closest friends have been married for six years, not just known each other. But for us it is wonderful. Our whirlwind of a romance that spanned 3 continents, 5 countries and only 79 days of time spent together is magic to me.

and it all comes down to 10 June 2005.

Happy 6 years kiddo. I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything!!

7 weeks in pictures

2011-06-09T20:23:00.021+01:00

As discussed yesterday, we have been in the US for 7 weeks. I finally figured out how to upload pictures to my parents computer, so here it is- what the last 7 weeks has looked like for Team Williams.

Our boxes arrived 4 days after we did! This truck showed up in our driveway...

and unloaded all of these boxes to the garage. Everything we own sits in those boxes. We were quite pleased to see them. On a less positive note though, there is one box that rattles when you lift it. The rattle of hundreds of pieces of broken glass. We have no idea what is in there, but whatever it is- it is broken. One day when we open everything up, we shall see...

We did however open up the box that contained little e's London train set. She loves cars/trains and this all wooden set is just the reminder of 'home' we needed.

My parents took us to the Bixby Bar-B-Q festival. Whilst e wasn't a massive fan of the food, she did love the bouncy castle.

Remember yesterday my complaint about walking in Tulsa? Yeah. This is the day we tried to walk to the closest park. No sidewalks, cars a few feet away, boiling hot...not the most awesome idea.

I turned 29.

E has been hanging out with her Great Gram-Gram.

But if I am honest what takes up the majority of our time is the pool. We spend hours at the pool, or pool parties, or just playing around with the hose.Pretty much anything that involves water. The weather is so nice I can't really stand to be inside so water time it is!

We also took our first big trip in the US. It was a family excursion with Mimi and Papa (my parents) to Six Flags. It was pretty awesome. Little e loved all the rides and Rhys tried his very first taste of funnel cake. Success.

Unfortunately we have also had to spend some time in our designated tornado shelter. Welcome to Oklahoma Rhys....we have lots of tornados!

There you have it. A picture heavy post, but a visual guide to our 7 weeks stateside.

7 weeks

2011-06-08T20:04:00.002+01:00

We have been in America almost 7 weeks. Can I say that we are still adjusting?

Well, we are. But in much better ways today than we were 5 weeks ago. Or even 3 weeks ago. Team Williams is getting into the swing of life- American Style. And it is good.

For example....

-the weather is awesome. And we have a pool (parents have a pool). so we are swimming every. single. day. and I LOVE it. E loves it too, which is what really matters.

-Chick-fil-a is amazing and i have no idea how i survived 4 whole years without it. I can never be apart from it again. ever.

-It is really nice (and convenient) to have wal-mart and target everywhere you turn. So many options, so many choices and at such an affordable price. I know there are people out there who will fight me on every turn about the evil-ness that is wal-mart but people, I am loving it.

-did i mention the pool?

-And it goes without saying that the best thing about America is being with my family. I have missed out on so much. And I have just missed them. There are downfalls to living with parents, but it is wonderful to be able to see them every day and for ele to have her mimi and papa around.

But it is also hard. Still hard. And still harder than I thought. For example....

-It is really hard when people questions why it is hard for me. I get the 'but you are american so it is really that difficult?' and the 'was it really so different over there?' Yes. Yes it was different and yes it is difficult. The only place I was ever a wife and mother until 2 months ago was the UK. Things are different over there. Products, produce, perspective- life in general is different. and sometimes it is still a difficult transition. I loved (and still love) so many things about European culture that it is difficult to let some of them go. Which brings me nicely to point 2.

-The need for a car. I loved walking. I mean really loved it. Like would happily live the rest of my life with public transportation and my own two feet kind of love. Walking and taking a bus? Not so much an option in good ole' Oklahoma. and I hate that. I miss the sidewalks. and the tubes. I miss fighting with hundreds of angry tube riders to push my stroller up and down the escalators to get on the tube amid the rush of commuters. Can I really miss that?! Well, I do.

-I miss Camden Town. The cheap food stalls selling Chinese food on the side of the road. The crazy hippies selling, well, crap out of falling down market stalls. I miss the tattoos parlors that lined the street and the unimaginable amount of goths and drunks wandering up and down the road. I miss camden!

-I want to be able to walk out my front door and get on a train that in 10 short minutes will put me in Trafalgar Square. I want to play with E in the fountains outside the national museum and then have a picnic on the grounds right by Westminster Abbey. Or maybe a snack on the banks of the Thames while a shadow is cast over us by Big Ben. I want to be able to take ele to the Imperial War Museum. Sure she has been several times before, but come on, can you really go too many times? I think not!

-I miss Red Sky crisps and chip shops and squash the drink and hearing 2 rings when I called someone of the phone. I miss the variety of accents, I miss the BBC ad Radio 1. I miss the crazy music with people singing in British accents. I miss the pub culture and surprisingly I even missed the big end of the football season relegation battle. I still miss a lot of the UK.

-Just as with America, it goes without saying that the things I miss the most are the people. I miss the Wales Williams. And kath and neil and nia. I miss my baby girls and the Fullers boys and girls. I miss London Stacey.

It is funny writing that out because I had a post very similar to this but in reverse when I first moved to the UK. All the things I missed about America. Believe me, that list was massive. Funny how it switches.

I love America. I love being from America. I say it jokingly all the time, but it's true- we are the best :) But I am missing the UK a lot this week. Reflecting on my transition to the UK, it is a good sign to be writing this out because in kristina world it means that I am adjusting, moving on and letting go. There will be even more awesome things about living here than I can think of at the moment. I know it will be great. Team Williams will make Tulsa our new home (for the moment at least) and we will thrive.

But today, nearly 7 weeks into America, I am missing the UK. So there it is. How we have settled into the transition. Easier now than 7 weeks ago, but still a bit of a struggle. Thank goodness for Chick-fil-a, but man I miss Europe!

on potty training.

2011-06-06T20:19:00.002+01:00

eleri is basically potty training herself. I am not sure why, but it almost like I am holding off on starting the actual training. For months she has asked about the potty, gone to sit on the toilet and told us whenever she is wet or poopy. She doesnt like being either. and she doesn't like wearing diapers.

But the training just seemed like a process. Back in Wales when she was asking to go to the potty, we let her but didn't push it. she asked all the time. my reasoning for not starting then was we had a big move and flight coming up. with rhys immigrating i couldn't even begin to estimate how long it would take us to get through customs. i did not want to even image a newly potty trained 19 month old waiting in customs lines. or on a 10 hour flight. how many changes of clothes/underwear would i have needed?! so we waited.

Then we first got to america it was the excuse of 'we just moved' or 'she is adjusting' and 'we dont want to have too many changes all at the same time' So even though she was fighting to not wear her diapers. and asking (and actually going) on the potty, we still waited.

Until today.

She is regularly pooping and peeing on the potty. just what you wanted to know right? all about my child's bodily functions. The only thing holding her back is her diaper that she cant always get off quick enough. So today we switched from diaper to big girl underwear. she is so excited.

that excitement means we have spent the majority of our day in the bathroom, as E pulls her underwear up and down and sits on the potty. but it was time.

she is ready, whether mom is or not. Potty training her we come!

the news

2011-06-02T20:01:00.006+01:00

In literal news, there was a major siege at a bank today just 2 blocks down from my flat in london. a man had an 'explosive device' and was threatening people at the bank. after a 3 hour stand off with police the man surrendered and all was ok. what?! specialist firearms police were called in. shops evacuated, houses evacuated. streets closed off. If we were still living there, we could not have gone home. the road to our flat was closed off! crazy! (full story on BBC.co.uk)

In not actual news, just 'The Life of Kristina' news here is what is going on:

- Eleri is awesome. Here she is waving from the sun roof of my parents car. You know, cause thats a fun thing to do. and she is pretty rad.

-We bought the little one big girl furniture. thats right, big e has a big bed now. Granted it still dosen't have a mattress, but we are getting there. the furniture is amazing!! and once i get it all set up (with her amazing bedding) i will post a picture.

- we have pretty much gone to the pool nearly everyday for the past week. it is incredible. I love having a pool (parents place, not ours) and some days I think eleri is going to explode with excitement. she walks around with her bathing suit saying "me b-suit. me b-suit. me in pool. me in pool" if we dont make it to the pool fast enough, oh boy! But she loves it. Look at how adorable!

-living in Tulsa requires 2 cars. I was hoping that we could avoid buying a car. My parents have an extra car that they have so generously donated to Team Williams. In my attempt to bring a european lifestyle to tulsa, I decided we would try to walk places when Rhys took the car to work. Uh, yeah. Not so much happening in south tulsa. We walked for just over an hour, on the side of the road, no stroller, in 90 degree heat to get to the closest park. E wasn't happy and believe me, by the time we got to the park, neither was I. Tulsa is not a walking place. We need two cars to get around.

Our plan is a cheap, tiny car with good gas mileage. Rhys will take that one to work and I will get the more reliable one with e. But...cars are expensive. and we may or may not have spent all of our money buying eleri bedroom furniture. (but her room looks awesome!)

if you know of someone selling and/or giving away a car, let us know!

-There is a chance my little one is colour blind. Rhys has red-green colour defenceny which is a fancy way of saying 'colour blind'. It is hereditary, so there is a good chance little e could be. She is still a bit young to be tested officially, but it has been medically suggested.

Why am I putting this on my blog? Because E is still awesome. Technically it is classed as a disability. There are support groups and everything. Special classes etc... And that is not the way for us. E is awesome. She is brilliant. She is advanced beyond her age without a doubt (some of that plays into the colour blind theory) In no way is she disabled. and I WILL NOT let anyone put that label on her. She is capable in every way. So I open this up for discussion. Do any of you out there have a child that is colour blind? or dyslexic or anything? what is that like for you?

(reading back through this I have noticed that I am still spelling the British way....colour, color...same thing, eh?)

-We have found a church that we really like. Rhys and I loved our church in London. Soul Survivor is an incredible place and we really enjoyed. Our church in Brecon was awesome. Small, down-home but lovely. and full of lovely people. We have started going to Redeemer Covenant here in Tulsa and it is great. We have already met some neat people and are starting to get involved. Such a blessing to find a place so quickly. We are so pleased.

-Because we live in Tulsa, I get to hang out with my dear friend Bethanie all the time. She is great, she has a daughter one month younger than eleri and we have balls of fun together. So wonderful. below are little e and noa together at the park.

-I have gotten some comments and emails from people I did not know read the blog. I love to read other people's blogs- getting ideas and just hearing how others do thigngs is fun. So if you read this blog and are not a follower, become one. :) that way I know where you blog and can read yours too! I like the comments/questions/readers. so Thanks!! :)

So that is us right now. We have some project going on and things we are doing, but more on that later. Enjoy the weekend everyone....we are headed to the pool!

sun

2011-05-31T20:49:00.003+01:00

ah, sunshine. finally it seems the crap weather has passed. no more tornados in the foresable future and we can enjoy the baking hot summer weather that is oklahoma. i am so excited i can hardly stand it.

off we go to the pool.....

some direction

2011-05-27T19:58:00.004+01:00

In the months leading up to the move I had lots of ideas about what America would look like for Team Williams. Boston, Arkansas, our own house, perhaps 2 cars, church life, american rugby, nice weather, new friends, finally close to my side of the family....but never, ever, EVER did any of my thoughts/dreams/plans/ideas good or bad ever mention Tulsa.

I grew up in tulsa. I lived here the year between Spain and Marriage. It is not an awful place but it was a place that I never envisioned for myself. Dont get me wrong, Tulsa has some awesome things like the Blue Dome distric, a pretty decent concert list, Queenies, the Drillers, some great museums and as pictured above, the giant driller. But still, I couldn't wait to get out when I was 18 and I never had the desire ot move back.

Of course, I knew we would be 'moving back' to stay with my parents for a little while as we made the transition from Europe to Northwest Arkansas. But that was it, a transitional place. a free place to stay, hang out with family and then move on.

Except that didn't actually happen. We are not moving on. We are staying right here in Tulsa.

Thats right. Tulsa.

Through a connection from one of my oldest and dearest friends, Rhys got an interview and they loved him. The job was offered to him the same day of the interview and now my (very awesome) husband is working for Tulsa City Council. He has a pretty sweet job. Any job in this climate is great, but one that is actually awesome? Well that is even better. So Tulsa it is.

Funny thing? I am actually excited. Perhaps some of my excitement is that we are finally in the last stages of our dream of having our own place. Or it could be that being close to family is a good thing. I have some dear friends in Tulsa- one of whom made the entire process of moving and staying here actually seem enjoyable (thanks, ally. you're awesome!) My dad can build us a house- just the way i want it. and I know the schools here. I know the area. And it is cheap. Cheap enough that we can save and still travel. Closer enough to go to Arkansas to see dear friends and cheap enough to fly to Boston for J and L.

Yeah, Tulsa is not looking so bad after all....

I feel settled. More peaceful than I have felt in a long time. And now that things are a bit more decided and we have some direction, I can get back to my 'America List.' Similar to my Europe List, but with some more domestic activities like planning E's 2nd birthday and refinishing furniture.

So here's to Tulsa, the new home of Team Williams.

wow, it's been a while

2011-05-17T19:56:00.002+01:00

it has been a long time since i have posted. life has just been a little crazy. and it still is. we are trying to figure out how to do life and be a family in another country. another culture. all whilst living with a different set of parents. it's great to be with my parents, but hard all at the same time.

america is wonderful. we are all enjoying being here. but america is different. and the change is hard. harder than i thought.

maybe that is why i dont have a lot to say at the moment. i am still processing. and playing. and seeing old friends. going to arkansas. and texas. and six flags. and unpacking the 42 boxes that arrived.

life is full. and scary and unknown. but good.

Rhys' green card arrived (woo hoo) so that is one GIANT weight off of our shoulders. He has to carry it with him at all times. Normally that doesnt pose any problems. When you go to six flags and lose your purse which has the green card in it? problem. how do you call department of homeland security again? life is full, to say the least. (we found the bag in the end! praise jesus)

learning to live in the unknown is something my little family has been practicing for quite a while now. since landing on american soil i have gone through lots of phases relating to the unknown. embracing it as an adventure. despising it. fearing it. loathing it. and right back around to loving the spontaneity and adventure.

benefit to no job? rhys and i have lots of time to check out thrift stores and estate sales for our $50 Rule to furnish the house. and its been really fun. we already have some great buys. I will post before and after pictures soon. but downfall to no job is we are still waiting. still unknown on when we can have our own space. be just the 3 of us (and eventually more!)

we shall see where we are in another week, but for now we are here. and still adjusting. looking and praying for jobs and hanging out with family. life is full.

hello....

2011-05-04T20:23:00.002+01:00

It has been a while since I have posted. Nothing has changed really, we are still here and still adjusting. It is great to be here and sad still. But I suppose those things are expected.

It is warm and sunny outside for the first time in a while so I want to play outside instead of type at the computer. Therefore, no exciting post for today. But I do have a question. As it has been a while since I have lived in Tulsa, I can't really remember who I know that lives in this area. So....remind me.

If you live in Tulsa or the surrounding area let me know and we can get together. I would love to reconnect with some people around here so let me know. Leave a comment or send me a message. :)

we are here.

2011-04-22T22:10:00.002+01:00

Here. I was going to say home, but are not home. Not just yet. We are at my parents house (which is wonderful) and working on being in our own home. so for the meantime, we are here.

23 hours of travel, 11 suitcases, 2 hours of immigration for Rhys and an amazingly happy baby later- and we are here. finally.

If I never set foot on another plane again, I am ok with that. Well, never again until September when we fly back to London. At least this time we wont have 11 suitcases, 4 carry ons, a stroller and a baby. Word of advice, NEVER travel with that much crap. seriously.

It has been 4 days since we landed and it has been better and worse than I thought it would be. I would say at least we have nice weather, but believe it or not, it is actually sunnier and warmer in the UK than Oklahoma. I think that is a first. Rhys says it is God's way of welcoming him to his new country. Welcome, we have crap weather just like the UK. He now feels right at home.

So that is where we are. Here and adjusting.

it's a fact

2011-04-14T20:31:00.002+01:00

It's true. I am a hoarder. I never really thought I was before, but it is an undeniable fact. I hoard.

How, you ask, do I know this? Because I managed to have 42 boxes, 1 suitcase and 2 backpacks worth of stuff to ship. And if that wasn't enough, I am going to have to pay to have an extra checked bag. Not just one, but two. TWO.

So after shipping an entire crate worth of stuff, I still have 4 suitcases, 2 carryons, a diaper bag and eleri's backpack full of stuff. lkjaoinfoadsivdhsvo!!!!

What stuff you ask? Well, clothes, shoes and such necessities. But aside from that, the things that I am actually paying to ship/fly across an ocean include eleri's paintings/drawings, a map that I found by a dumpster, every single award and certificate that Rhys has ever won (even from elementary school), every single picture I could find, old clothes-because you just never know when you might need them, books-even if they have been read, newspapers (unread) from major events, magazines from major events, magazine articles (cut out) with stuff I like, oh and did I mention paintings and drawings that eleri has done? Yeah, I am paying to bring that stuff over. See? fact, I hoard.

But I just can't bear to get rid of it. Never mind how useless some of it may be, I just can't part with it. I hoard. it's pretty bad. I think I may need an intervention. Either that or I need someone to come and pack responsibly for me.

always on your toes.

2011-04-13T17:37:00.002+01:00

Being married to an international has always proven to be an adventure. that could mean travel, living abroud or just every day cultural differences that make life fun.

But sometimes it can prove a bit nerve wracking. Like today, when Home Land security called to inform me that we had been marked for our planned trip to the states. and we had issues to sort out before we travelled. Nice. That is always what you want to hear, security issues before you even make it to customs!

It's never dull with team williams.

less than a week

2011-04-12T13:01:00.002+01:00

in 6 days we will no longer be residents of the United Kingdom. Unfortunately I still have quite a bit to do. No matter how old I get, apparently I will never learn to plan ahead. Procrastination is the way I roll.

As such there will be no long post today, just a list. Part 2 of the list of things I will miss about the UK. I had intended to counter everything I will miss with something positive from the states. But I simply can not be bothered today. So know that I realise there are good things in the US. This post is just about the things I am going to miss.

-greeting each other with a kiss on the cheek. this is AWESOME. why do we not do this in America?

-fish and chips, chip shops...(never mentioned this before eh?)

-bank holidays.

-28 days holiday a year. required. over five weeks, plus national holidays. awesome.

-proximity to continental Europe

-greener lifestyle

-pub culture

-the royal wedding. this made this list only because i will literally miss it on the day.

-public transport all over/around the country

-sidewalks. everywhere.

-camden town and the cheap Chinese stalls (kym and leah- my camden buddies)

-double decker buses

-rugby

-marks and spencer sandwiches

-boots (and boots meal deal)

-sanctuary spa

-castles everywhere you look

-and along that note, the age and history of this country

-trains. I know I already said public transport, but I like trains.

-covent garden

-my vauxhall

-rich tea biscuits

-hand cooked crisps

-squash (as a drink, not the veggie)

-the cheese. oh my goodness, the cheese is incredible!

-the sense of humor. love it.

-and along with that comes comedy shows: live at the apollo, a league of their own, celebrity juice, john bishop's britian etc...

-cougar town. I realise this is an american show, but it is behind over here. So i will miss my spot in the show when I move. and I am really sad about it.

-selfridges

-Christmas lights on oxford/regent street

-match of the day

-BBC

and last but not least, the people......mag, alan, kath, neil, nia, new baby, nain, mam gu, dio, viv, ian, lily, and the rest of the family. plus...jude, hayley, karen, katie, anj, bushra, and the babies, Hannah, james, caroline, chris, dan, oli, james, andrea, ads, tracey, the heley's, and the rest of the rugby boys, katherine, john, martha, malcom, evelyn and the rest of the brecon church and everyone else I have forgotten to mention. I will miss the people here tremendously.

we made friends that are irreplaceable and have memories that will last forever. I am starting to get a bit teary (and cheesy) so I will end this list here.

kristina the ostrich.

2011-04-07T11:03:00.004+01:00

I am packing today. urgh! I am sick of packing. I am sick of planning, laying out clothes, snacks, games, toys, more clothes, blankets, books, clothes for Rhys, more snacks....i am sick of packing. it is an unfortunate necessity.

Today's packing is very bittersweet. We are only 11 days away from moving. We are that much closer to being settled and not feeling like we are on hold. But it also means we are only 11 days away from leaving Europe. We are that much closer to saying good bye to an irreplaceable part of our lives. I was discussing this with a friend who made the comment that she knew exactly how I felt. She had just moved to a new flat 2 blocks down the street and saying goodbye to her neighbours was so hard. hmmmm, not quite the same.

Or is it? Is this move to America really that much different? People say goodbye to things that are important to them all the time, why should moving overseas be that big of a deal? I guess whether or not it should be is irrelevant. To me, it is. A very big deal. The closer it gets, the more I want to stick my head in the sand and wait for it to all go away. Maybe if I hide from it, it won’t happen. But that is not the answer either. We can't stay here, I know that. But part of me doesn't want to move. I go back and forth constantl. Poor Rhys, he never knows which Kristina he will get. The "excited to move and can't wait to live in America" Kristina or the sad, teary, "I don’t want to leave Europe because it is awesome" Kristina. Sometimes, just for kicks, I throw in the "I am not leaving because I want to go to Barcelona one more time" Kristina. (I think that Kristina is Rhys' least favourite.)

Which one is it today? Kristina the ostrich. That is the Kristina that wants to stop packing, stop planning and just stick her head in the sand. I am not going to do that because I have to pack. But I want to. I want to not have hard decisions to make. 4 years ago the choice to move to London was so light hearted. We couldn't wait to live in a new place, as newlyweds, and make a life for ourselves. Now, just a few short years later, the decision to leave seems next to impossible. I am writing about it like there is still some indecision. There isn't. The choice has been made. We are coming to America. I know it is the right choice. But it is still difficult.

But I am just tired of it all. I can't imagine how you (the reader) must feel?! What happened to the old blog full of interesting political posts and rants about the NHS? Somewhere along the line of baby and international move, I got distracted. Perhaps once we settle in the states I will write about other things. But right now all I can think about it packing- and sticking my head in the sand.

Countdown

2011-04-04T11:56:00.003+01:00

The annual birthday countdown has begun. For those of you that know me, or have read this blog for a while, are well aware that come April I start counting down the days until my birthday. Perhaps one day I will feel to old to do this, perhaps there will come a birthday that I am not looking forward to. But that day is not today; I love birthdays!!

But this April also holds quite a few more days to count down to. Big changes and big milestones mark this April and I intend on counting down and celebrating them all. Without further ado, let the countdown begin!

25 days until my birthday (woo hoo!!) - and you too Laura!

20 days until Easter at the church where I grew up, got baptised, got married- my home church.

14 days until we move to America (woo hoo?...a bit scary still)

13 days until family day out at Lego Land, Windsor

7 days until Hereford with Rhys and Lucy

5 days until I am 1 year cancer free

3 days until Nia's 4th birthday (eleri's little cousin)

1 day until my next tattoo (still pending, bit it makes the list anyway)

awesome

2011-04-01T09:04:00.009+01:00

Eleri is pretty awesome. She is so full of life and joy. I think she is the happiest child in the world. seriously. She is pretty great.

She loves her dad the most (I hate to say it, but its true) He can get to her to laugh like no one else. As soon as he walks in from work, everyone else ceases to exist. Daddy and daughter, its amazing. She doesn't even mind when he is all smelly from rugby (as evidenced below) she runs straight up to him- sometimes even onto the pitch! But she does like her mommy too! We like to build forts. They probably rank in top 3 favourite things to do for the little one.

She loves playing hide and seek and I often find her behind things or covered up with stuff. Like here, with the pillows. She will hold perfectly still and wait for you to 'find' her. precious. She loves to feed the ducks. Here she is running over to the duck pond, bread in hand.

She is also quite musical...perhaps we have a little prodigy on our hands. pretty much, eleri is just awesome! (especially in aviators) Happy weekend everyone!

perspective

2011-03-31T14:15:00.004+01:00

I like to read blogs, it is my guilty pleasure. If you are my husband you class blog reading as a time waster, but I think it is great. Well, great most of the time. Sometimes I get great ideas for crafts and cooking. I catch up on friends lives who are far away. I get to see pictures of the latest additions to families and hear all the fun stories that I don't get experience first hand. Sometimes blog reading is the high light of my day. But sometimes it is not so positive. Instead of being a guilty plasure, I become guilt ridden becasue of my attitude.

If I had to narrow down all of my faults and shortcomings and pick the worst one, I would have to say it is comparison. I have an (awful) tendency to compare my life and situation to others. not all the time, but jsut enough to make it an issue. And if that wasn't bad enough, I compare regardless of circumstances. That really gets me because you can not take a persons life out of context- everyone has their own set of struggles and complexities even if on the surface (i.e. their blog) everything seems perfectly fine. Even though my head knows this, sometimes my heart (and head too) forget this. And I compare as I read. Bad idea.

When I 'blog compare' one of two things happens:
Option 1: I end up feeling annoyed that other people have a house, space, expendable income, family close by, a dog, two cars, a gym they belong to, a donut shop near by, chick-fil-a...you get the picture. I get annoyed that they have things or conveniences that I don't. I never stop to think about all the benefits and advantages that my life offers. I never remember those when I am getting annoyed....no, no it's all doom and gloom.

Option 2: Self righteous Kristina comes out and I say (only to myself) that the author of the blog is either selfish, ungrateful, wasteful, arrogant, too 'Americanized' and so on. Both options suck and they both leave me feeling guilty and annoyed at myself for being so trivial.

It's a cycle and I know exactly how it is going to end and yet it happens anyway. You would think the easy solution would be to stop reading blogs. But the blog comparing only happens about 5% of the time, so I justify its ok. (I have an amazing knack for justifying my actions)

But it happened two days ago. Option 2 came out in full force. It was a fluke really. I just happened to read 4 blogs all of which discussed moving. The first one I read was a great story about God's provision and I was genuinely pleased for said blogger. But it all went down hill after that. The other 3 blogs mentioned how they wanted to move, but couldn't. They wanted/needed more space but had to try to be content in their 2, 3 and 4 bedroom houses respectively. Yikes- watch out world here comes self righteous Kristina- and she is not very nice!

My first thought was "seriously? you are a family of 3 and live in a 4 bedroom house and are complaining? Not enough space eh? Oh, poor little rich southern family. Try living in a flat the size of a one car garage with a family of 3 and then complain!" Gosh, when I type it out, I sound like a _____!! I did warn you, self righteous Kristina is not very pleasant. I should have stopped reading then. I knew I was getting frustrated for no reason. Every one's situation is different. Sure I may have lived in a tiny flat, but I lived in London. And I LOVED it. So I had no reason to complain. But logical thoughts do not win when I am being self righteous. So I kept reading the blogs.

These were random people too! I didn't even know them and I was getting frustrated! It was craziness. I kept reading and kept getting more annoyed that people wanted to move and have more space and bigger houses and a 3rd or 4th car. Never mind the number of materialistic posted I have written about the things that I want. No, no self righteous Kristina is perfect. I got frustrated and decided to tell Rhys all about it when he came home, because I just knew he would agree with me.

And I almost did too. But we got distracted playing with Ele, and eating dinner, and laughing....and then it happened. Conviction. Perspective.

We put on a BBC program about Thailand. The crux of the show was explaining how yes, tourism is a huge benefit to the Thai people, but there is a darker side as well. The Thai people are suffering because of high cost and poor conditions. Big hotel industries come in, buy up Thai land displacing hundreds of local people. The prices of goods (i.e. food, drinks etc..) goes up for the tourists, but the locals are then forced to pay the higher prices as well. The show profiled several different places and types of people, but the one that stoof out ther most was a group of 5 women working for a popular resort hotel. They were 2 plus hours from their families, living together in one room, working 6 days a week, 9 hour days and making a whopping £4.50 a day. And that is above minimum wage. These women were grateful for the work and they worked hard too. They were willing to do what it took to provide for their families, even if it meant being far away and working long hours.

One point the show tried to make was that the British tourist comes and goes freely in Thailand because it is so cheap. They spend hundreds on drinks, boating trips and spa treatments, however, they rarely tip. Leaving even something as small as a £1 or £2 tip could make the difference between eating and not eating to these women and their families. These women were really grateful to be making £4.50 a day. They were thankful to have a decent, clean place to live as so many others they knew were on the streets.

Yeah, I suck.

Here I am complaining about my jet setting European lifestyle and these women were thankful to even have a life. Ok, so maybe not 'jet setting' but I have lived and travelled freely around the UK and Europe and some of that freedom was because we lived in a smaller flat that was more affordable. We always had food, we always had more than enough clothes and even had enough money for extras. What was I complaining about again? And yeah, I wanted more space, just like the people whose blogs I was reading. Remind me again what was wrong with that? Self righteous Kristina sucks.

I am blessed. Really and truly blessed. I have an awesome life. There is honestly nothing to complain about. And there is absolutely no need to compare either. It starts of slow process of self destruction. Comparing myself with others robs me of the joy I should have. Not only rejoicing with others when things are going well for them, but also rejoicing in whatever my particular circumstance is. Being self righteous and negative doesn't uplift others and it certainly isn't positive for me either. Even if no one but me sees the self righteous Kristina, it is a prideful attitude that has no place in my life. Blog comparison (or any other type for that matter) sucks.

Maybe it goes to show that in our human nature we will always want more. Maybe part of that is longing for the home we are promised but don't yet have. Maybe it is just me and no one else struggles with comparison or 'the grass is greener over there' syndrome. But whatever the issue, I am grateful for the BBC helping me put it in perspective. (Although I have a sneaky feeling it was someone else reminding me to be grateful and thankful.)

"Give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Pride goes before destruction, ahaguhty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly with the oppressed than share in the plunder of the proud." Provers 18:18-19

tired

2011-03-29T09:16:00.004+01:00

I am really tired.

The events of the past few weeks have finally caught up with me. Finally being done with immigration, packing up every single thing we own into a 6 x 6 crate and shipping it to America, leaving parties, good bye visits across the UK, last trips to loads of cities, apply for new jobs in America, looking for houses in Arkansas, planning the trip and so on and so on. It has been a lot.

and now I am tired.

I can not put into words how ready I am to have my own place, my own space. But right now I just want a holiday! Although that would mean more packing and to be honest the thought of packing one more thing makes me want to cry. I want to close my eyes and magically wake up in a house completely furnished, without the hassle of actually buying and furnishing said house. No more packing. No more planning. I am so tired.

It is less than 3 weeks now until we move. I am grateful that it is close. Sad to be leaving, but overjoyed to be one step closer to our own space. Rhys asked me what I wanted more than anything in the world. I said that more than anything else, I wanted to be settled in our own house by Eleri's 2nd birthday. I have images of a fantastic back yard party for the little one. But even the thought of that makes me tired.

Eleri is napping and I should be applying for jobs, working on cover letters, returning emails, and looking for houses in Arkansas. I think I will take a nap instead. I am so tired. Tomorrow is a new day and I can be productive then. Right now- Sleep!

Spring Love

2011-03-27T13:22:00.019+01:00

I love spring. I love the warmth, the sun, the bright colours that for some reason only seem to be appropriate to wear in the summer. If I had my way, it would be spring/summer weather and fashion year around. And if I really did have my way, I would buy an entire new wardrobe. As that won't be happening any time soon, here are a few of my favourites from the latest spring styles.

The bright jeans are great. My current favourite colour is similar to the pink ones pictured- perhaps a bit more coral. Love them! They are some of my favourite jeans to wear because they look great with anything. You don't have to buy designer either. J.Crew, H&M and Primark all have great, bright jeans.

I am also a fan of the yellow jacket. I went for the cardigan instead, but ah, its like wearing the sun. Again, you dont have to go designer. I did fall in love with Dsquared colour, but some other good options are (again) J.Crew, H&M, Primark or Gap.

Another great spring trend I am a big fan of is the high waisted skirt with a blazer. I have tried to capture said outfit below, but it's not the most brilliant image. (ignore the toys in the background) It is an easy outfit to wear; meaning it can look smart or casual. Pair with a bright coloured skinny belt and it makes a great outfit. Which brings me to the next thing- skinny belts. They are cheap, versatile and frankly they make me happy. I think they might be my favourite spring accessory. Well that and jewelry. Because what is not to love about bright, chunky necklaces and big rings. The flower as an accessory is another wonderful addition to my wardrobe. I had some darker coloured flowers for the winter, but the white, bright colours are great for the warmer weather. (see above picture) I have decided to get little ele in on the trend and she is really excited. Ok, she probably doesn't care one bit, but since I buy her clothes she is jumping on board. And this is my new favourite top of little e. How awesome is that?! Next on the list is rolled skinny jeans with a blazer. In case you hadn't guessed by now, I am a big fan of the blazer. I am just wearing a plan t-shirt underneath, but when coupled with a blazer it makes for a nice outfit. Easy when I don't want to put effort in to what I am wearing- put on whatever you want underneath and throw a blazer on top. Done. Favourite scent for the spring? Miss Dior Cherie. To quote their website "a chypre accord which is enlivened with a springtime spirit" A fancy way of saying the orange, neroli and patchouli make it smell like little drops of a tropical island for your skin. I love it. Another of my spring favourites is the Burberry trench coat. It is perfect for British spring- a light jacket when it seems warm, but is actually quite chilly. It is soft, smooth and an amazing little bit of luxury for your top half. By the time we land in America I assume it will be too warm for a jacket, even a light weight one. So I guess this will have to become a fall fashion favourite as well. But the best of all? Ballet flats. I just can't get enough of these. They are the perfect shoe for British spring and summer time. I am assuming that come July in Arkansas I wont want to be wearing closed toe shoes....but for the meantime, I love them! There you have it, Kristina's favourites for spring time. I know I am not the most fashionable person in the world, especially when people like Michelle read this (who is one of the most fashionable people I know) but I like what I like. What are your spring time favourites?

610

2011-03-25T13:25:00.012Z

(Ok, so I lied. I said the next post would be about the big party from the weekend, but instead it's about Eleri. Because, well, she is awesome.)

610. that is how many days little eleri ann has been a part of our lives. 610 wonderful days. Yesterday, the 24th, she reached 20 months. I can hardly believe that it has been nearly 2 years since we brought our tiny bundle home. Ok, so at 9 and half pounds she wasn't so much tiny, but I can't believe how quickly the time has gone.

My little one is amazing. Everyday she learns something new and surprises me in an incredible way. Just when I think I have found my favourite stage, she grows and I love the new stage even more. She is constantly learning and growing, and loves to explore. She loves balls more than anything and would ride a bike all day if we would let her. Bubbles is her new favourite word and I wish I had a video camera to capture her chasing around the bubbles, giggling and squeaking 'bubble, bubble'

As for words, she still doesn't say a lot but we are getting a few new words here and there. She has pretty much perfected the art of communicating without words, so I am not sure that will encourage her to actually speak. Some days it really bothers me, others I could care less. One of my baby mamas reminds me that every child develops differently. Eleri was walking completely independently at 10 months. This friends baby was talking at 12 months. Talking in sentences, but not walking until 18 months. It's all different. I digress. The point is, we have a few new words bringing the total to about 20.

One of her new words is monkey. She immediately follows this word by making monkey sounds 'oooo, oooo' and putting her little arms up to make monkey arms. It is pretty awesome. Below you can see her making the monkey motions.

E's new favourite thing? Lambs. This is the view from her window

Yesterday she got to feed this little fella with a bottle. His mother rejected him so the farmer is bottle feeding him until he can find a 'foster mum'. He brought him over to the house and just left him in the garden for the day. Rupert the lamb was a big hit. Yeah, the farmer named him Rupert, how awesome is that?! Ele loves lambs.

Another love of E? Dolls. My mom always said that i would end up with a girly girl as payment for me wanting to play sports and not liking pink. Perhaps she was right. Eleri loves purses, puts anything on as bracelets (as we found whilst trying to pack and our rolls of packing tape kept disappearing- and we found 5 of them on eleri's arms as bracelets!) and she loves dolls and strollers. She looks so big pushing it- e is a toddler now, not my little baby!

It must be instinctive as well, because I have never taught/showed her how to feed a doll, dress it, etc... so apparently she just woke up one day and knew how to take care of her doll. it is so precious to watch her care for them. She stops to feed it, cover them up with blankets and change their diaper. She is such a sweet girl.

That picture is also great because you can see this giant bump on the right side of her head. Look at the profile- notice how one side of her head sticks out? Yeah, giant bump. (details below)

I am fairly sure that at some point in her life this characteristic will change, but until then, eleri is fearless. Seriously. the child has absolutely no concept of fear. She climbs, jumps, runs, and crawls into the most bizarre places. She would climb on the roof if we would let her. I am convinced that she thinks she is 25 instead of 1 and half because of the things she tries to do. and the amount of bumps and bruises that poor kid has...

Take the below picture for an example. She loves to slide, head first- eyes closed, down the slide. Here I managed to catch her mid run right before she dove/threw herself down. Laughing until she landed on her head and got a MASSIVE bump. You would think that would teach her to not do it again. About 3 minutes later she was back up there. Fearless, I tell you. Fearless.

And it is not just physical activity. She is still not afraid of the dark, has no fear of any animal- in fact, she just giggles and giggles when dogs bark (even giant, scary dogs) and constantly tries to climb the fence to go play with the horses. You have to watch her like a hawk or off she would be trying to ride a cow!

Ele also has no fear of strangers. One of her new tricks (thanks Karen for the idea) is to 'meet' new people. She walks up to them, sticks her right hand out and says 'do do' meaning 'how do you do' Oh my word, it is the funniest thing in the world. All you have to say is 'Ele what do you do when you meet someone new?' and off she goes hand out, saying do do, do do. You could be a 10 foot tall giant and she would still walk right up to you. No fear of anyone. well, anyone except maybe crazy people dressed up like a French man. (cause who likes the French? ;)

(picture of the leaving do weekend with Rhys' uni friends.)

As for food, she is still stuck on her sandwiches. She can't get enough cheese and tomato or PB&J sandwiches.

She has started eating more of a variety and some of her other favourites include hummus, chicken pie, shepherds pie, bangers and mash, carrots, and just like her mother, fish and chips and crisps! We still do not give her candy, chocolate or ice cream, but I imagine once we go to America and it is boiling hot that will probably change. But hey, she doesn't know what she is missing so I figure there is not point introducing it.

As she really likes to feed herself, she has perfected cereal/porridge in the morning and pasta. We get a few spills with potatos and pie dishes, but she is pretty good with the spoon and fork. Recently she has half mastered the art of drinking from a regular cup. If if it only about 1/3 of the way full, she can do it. Any more liquid in and it ends up all over her. But she is getting there.

The biggest change this month is that she has really transformed from baby into toddler. She likes to hold hands and play 'ring around the roses'. She can out on a bike helmet all by herself and climb on the bike. She can almost swing on a big kid swing and has mastered her colours and shapes. She is not a baby. She is a big girl.

While I am in shock over the fact that I have a child who is nearly two, I love the place where she is. I love watching her grow and learn and discover. I love watching her smile overtake her entire face when she tries something new. I love watching her giggle and laugh when we feed the ducks and she tires to waddle around like them. Pretty much I just love being with her. She is awesome.

So here's to another 610 days of awesome-ness with my little sweet pea.

Goodbye vs Hello: part 1

2011-03-21T13:23:00.002Z

I am moving. Surprise! I have never mentioned that before on the blog. But it is getting closer and closer everyday. Of course this is expected as the earth is constantly in motion forcing one day to end and other to begin. It is now just under 4 weeks until our feet land on American soil and we say a big Howdy-Do to the good ole' US of A. (howdy-do because we land in Dallas and obviously that is how everyone from Texas speaks)

I am having a difficult time with moving. Again, Surprise! Another new thing to mention on the blog.... Ok, but even if you already know that I am struggling with leaving Europe and moving to middle America, did you know that I started making a list of things I was going to miss? And that list is now over 6 pages long? Bet you didn't know that!

I have decided that it was a big one sided. Sure there are some down falls to leaving Europe. But there are some big up sides to moving to America. Instead of putting all the things I will miss into one post, whilst subconsciously pointing out how much America will suck without them, I have decided to counter each sad point with a happy one. For example, I am going to be sad to leave proper fish and chips from a chip shop, but really glad to have chick-fil-a again. See? Sad counteracted with the positive. I may say goodbye to the chip shop, but I will say hello to Chick-fil-a.

As I process externally, and this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want, you can expect quite a few of these posts. Hence the label 'Part 1' So without further ado, here is the first goodbye, hello list.

-Goodbye Rugby: 6 nations, tri-nations, Autumn internationals, having the World Cup actually be a big deal...

BUT, Hello college football and basketball again. March Madness doesn't exist in the UK, so thats a plus.

-Goodbye Fish and Chips..... BUT Hello, Chick-fil-A.

-Goodbye Indian Food, take away hmmm.... BUT Hello, Mexican food. (with unending baskets of chips and salsa!)

-Goodbye British baked beans on toast....BUT Hello, Kraft Mac and Cheese!

-Goodbye rainy, crap weather year around.....Hello nice sunshine and 4 seasons!! Ok so that one I wont really miss. I am more than ready to say goodbye to the grey soup that is the UK weather.

-Goodbye Cadbury luxury chocolate, BUT Hello Reece Pieces and Peanut Butter Cups!

-Goodbye a sink and my hands to wash the dishes and Hello a DISHWASHER!! Ok, again that is all good!

-Goodbye easy travel to places like Italy, Spain and Switzerland....BUT hello, Texas and Mississippi? Uh, ok so that one might be an awful comparison. Leaving Easy Jet flights sucks anyway you look at it.

-Goodbye American TV's 4 months behind....Hello TV shows that are right on time!

uh..... Ok, so the next few ones I cant actually come up with a positive counter to...Any suggestions my fellow Americans?

-BBC?
-Radio 1?
-East Enders
-Live at the Apollo? (awesome stand-up)

There are hundreds and hundreds more where this came from, but I will leave it at this for now. Having the leaving do this weekend made it all the more real that we are actually going, that things (and most importantly people) will actually really be missed. It was a great weekend, but brought everything a little closer to home. I suppose that is why this is on my mind today.

More parts will come of this for sure, but little ele requires my attention now. Tomorrow will be pictures and details of the weekend...it was crazy. Big Bird even made a visit.....

lambs are crazy!

2011-03-18T16:53:00.002Z

I have loads of post half written. But this weekend is a big leaving do with all of Rhys' uni friends. Which means no time to actually finish any of the posts. Instead, I will give to you readers the most awesome picture ever of a little lamb.

As you all know, we live in the country. At the moment it is lambing season. Which means hundreds and hundreds of little lambs everywhere I look. I saw one being born through my bedroom window the other day. And the below picture is the view from Eleri's bedroom.

Check out how high the little lamb is jumping. This picture makes me laugh every time I see it. It looks like he is flying! Ah, lambs are crazy.

Happy weekend everyone. Enjoy!

$50

2011-03-17T12:55:00.002Z

The bed was already there. I tried not to think about how many other people had slept on it otherwise I might have never lied down myself. But just to be safe, and because I am little bit crazy, I used two mattress pads and 2 sheets on the bottom. Because thin pieces of fabric will protect you.

That is the way it is in most flats in London. They come fully furnished. It is great on one hand because it meant Rhys and I didn't have to buy furniture and worry about the cost, and then move it from place to place. But on the other hand it meant that in my entire married life I have never owned, picked out or had a say in the entire furnishing of my house. The bed and mattress included.

The mattresses in both our flats were awful. I mean really, really awful. Bumpy, springs sticking out, sagging in the middles, uneven- awful. You would think that after the first flat we would have learned. Check out the location, bathroom, kitchen, make sure the mattress is in one piece. But it is something you don't really think about when you are looking to move.

The bed in Rhys' parents house is much nicer. However, it was Rhys' old bed so it has been around for a while. It is not awful, but it is not brilliant either. Which means that for the last 4 years the beds Rhys and I have slept on have been, uh... less than desirable.

Why am I telling you this? Because the bed/mattress (and perhaps the couch) will be the only exception to our new rule. What is this rule you ask?

The $50 Rule

That's right people, the $50 rule is coming to play in our house. I have borrowed the idea from my friend Abby. She is pretty awesome and you can read all about her over HERE. Her blog is full of great ideas and inspiring life moments. Her '$50 project' results are incredible, I strongly suggest you take a look. Which is why it has inspired Rhys and I to do the same.

To furnish our new home, everything we buy must be $50 or less. Simple. We are excited about the possibilities. Thrift stores, garage sales, the side of the road...the options are endless really. We both like to do 'crafty' things. Rhys is quite the handy repairman, is good with carpentry and can build just about anything. I like to sew, paint and can come up with some unique uses for everyday things. Combine our talents and we are convinced that we can take what we find and make it perfect for our home.

We have created some caveats to our rule:
1.The bed and mattress can cost more than $50. Heck, it can cost whatever it takes to have a comfortable bed. We are ready for some restful sleep!
2. The couch. We may or may not find a good couch for $50. (I am thinking may not is more realistic) but we will limit ourselves. We are primarily looking on craigslist and closeouts.
3. If the initial price is $50 or less, but it goes slightly over to fix it up nicely, that's ok too. Not hundreds and hundreds. But if we are careful in choosing our pieces, and dedicated to making them our own, then we will give ourselves some leeway in the $50 rule.
4. Things given to us dont count. If we are not buying it, it doesn't have to cost less than $50. For example, my brother has given us his old kitchen table. When I say old, I really just mean they wanted a new one. The one they gave us is perfect and way more than $50. But that's ok, because it is a gift. To us it was free- well within the $50 rule!

I am pretty pumped about our new plan. Because we are going straight from the UK to my parents house until we get settled, we will have some time to sort ourselves out furniture wise. Which is another reason this plan fits so perfectly. We have time to buy and refurnish pieces. We have the storage space at my parents and the extra help of mom and dad. I know that I tend to get overly excited, and I know that I have a tendency to be unrealistic. But whether or not we can stick to this plan for an entire house is irrelevant. We are going to try our very best, and I can say with 100% certainty that it will be a heck of a lot of fun trying to!

something new: february

2011-03-16T13:34:00.003Z

Keeping in line with my new years resolution to do something new everyday, here is my list of all things 'new' for February. Granted I am a bit late in posting the list being that it is half way through March but....

As with January, some of the new things were great. and some were pretty stupid. Dancing on the streets of Rome with Rhys? Awesome. Accidentally pressing 'buy' and purchasing £300 worth of clothes from Zara. Not awesome. (and they were all returned as soon as they arrived) Good and bad, here is my list from February

-New Tradition: fulfilling another new years resolution of creating a new tradition every month, February's is Fiesta Friday! the last Friday in February is now Team Williams Fiesta Friday. Which means that we will cook up copious amounts of Spanish/Mexican food and invite loads of people over to fiesta with us. This year we had James and Hannah come down to Wales. Next year? I am thinking house party in Arkansas....
-British driving lesson
-Went to Rome with Rhys
-danced on the streets of Rome, at night, on a dimly lite bridge...ah romance
-cleaned out the game room of our old crap
-sold lots of baby clothes on ebay. (i love ebay!)
-ate a bowl of gnocchi as a 'starter' and then had a bowl full of spaghetti as a main. whoa that was lots of food.
-New words for ele: Spoon, draw, ta, door, cup, walk
-e ate a pastie for the first time.
-I painted my nails blue (another new years resolution fulfilled)
-British driving test in Brecon
-Passed said test and received my British Drivers License.
-bought e a special 'book' that she can draw and put stickers in. she loves it and carries it with her everywhere.
-girls night in watford- Indian in Kings Langley
-First spring visit to the duck pond
-Shopping in Swansea with Han
-James and Hannah down for the first time from London
-saw a lamb being born (not a pretty sight, at all)
-swimming at the brecon leisure centre- on the big kids water slide!
-e stopped eat fruit. which was not a good first
-but she started eating veggies. which is a good first!
-I officially became British as I received my passport in the post!

There you have it, all the new things done in February.

fresh

2011-03-15T14:13:00.004Z

In January of 2008 when I created this blog, I really had no idea what I was doing. I had never blogged before, or knew anyone that had, and was not even sure where to start. The design was basic, the posts were mostly about my London commute and the title was simple- made up of things that made me smile. Sunshine and Pringles.

At the time, they were two things that were not redily avaliable to me in the UK. As the weather tends to be crap nearly 100% of the time, I was desperatly missing the sunshine. And pringles, classed as an import, seemed unbelievalbe expensive. Of course that was only 4 months after I moved and I was still converting everything in my head. grocery store trips went something like this

Me: Man, I would LOVE some pringles
Rhys: go buy some.
Me: ok...uh lets see.... £2.25 a can. WHAT?!!? that is $4.50 for a can of pringles!!! (at that time the exchange rate was 2:1)
Rhys: ah! stop converting it in your head! you make the pound, so spend the pound!

Believe me, it didn't take much longer for me to stop that habit and think in the pound. Bet Rhys is sorry now he told me to 'spend the pound' But that is another story.

The point is, while I still don't know a lot about blogging. (I still cant get the really cool, new design to upload) I have decided to go back to the original title of the blog. Sunshine and Pringles. I love the sunshine and even though they are quite possibly the worst thing for me, I love pringles. They make me happy. They make me smile. And it is the little things that matter the most.

I have been having a hard time lately. Try as I might to hide it, I know that some of those feelings have been made evident in the blog. And while the entirety of the situation is too lengthy, detailed and personal to really dive into in this particular forum, let me just say that it is a new day. A new attitude. A fresh outlook on life, love, marriage, parenting, friendship, and family. A new start as it were.

Traditionally January is the time for resolve for a better future. But mid-March is as good a time as any. It's a new day. The 'big' things that bother you only get big because you let them. From now on, it's the little things that really count. Sunshine and Pringles.

help!

2011-03-12T19:37:00.001Z

so i was trying to change my blog design to a really cool, new thing. and instead it came out looking like this. and it wont let me change it! any ideas? i am not good with technology, so if any of you know what i need to do, let me know!!! thanks!!

to the docks....

2011-03-10T14:20:00.007Z

Tomorrow is moving day. Not for the people (that's another 5 weeks away) but for the boxes.

Back in June of last year I packed up the flat in London with the intention of shipping to America. Courtesy of government red tape, the boxes had a 9 month detour via Wales. With our impending move in April, it is time to say a final goodbye to the boxes as tomorrow we will be driving all of our earthly possessions to the docks in London.

I am not sure how it happened, but somehow we managed to acquire quite a bit. We are shipping no furniture, and aside from a pram, a running stroller and an art easel, we have no big items as such. But man! We are shipping a load!!

We have this lot

and then this

plus all of these!!

Ok, so I may have been buying 'homey' things and putting then in boxes for our new house in the states. (pillows take up lots of room!) and 2 or 3 of those boxes are full of yummy British food. But come on people, we lived in a flat the size of a one car garage for goodness sake! Where did we put all of that stuff? I know exactly how many boxes we have. and suitcases. and backpacks. But the number is SO high that it is a bit embarrassing to write out. So just believe me when I say we have a lot! However, we got a really good price on shipping, and as it doesn't go by weight, we figured this was the time to take it all back. No point of buying in the states, if we already own it here. So into the boxes it all went.

We have rented a transit van and will load the boxes first thing tomorrow morning for the 3 plus hour trek to the docks. There we will say one last goodbye to the boxes as the begin their 9 week sea journey to America. Although we are insured for it, here's hoping there will be no pirate attacks or capsizing of the boat!

Lent

2011-03-09T11:19:00.003Z

Today marks the start of Lent. Traditionally a time for fasting and reflection, it marks the 40 days leading up to the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus.

This is a special season for me. Not only because the death and resurrection of Christ is what enables us to have life everlasting, but also becasue it is a time when I really draw away from the negative and refocus; get new perspective if you will. It is a great time to really reflect on the ultimate sacrafice that God made for us in sending His son to die. As a mother, I can't even begin to imagine sending little eleri anywhere that I can't get to quickly, let alone sending her to die! It was a sacrafice indeed.

This year was tough deciding what I would give up for lent. I couldn't really come up with anything that I felt would serve the purpose of reflection and rememberence properly. In my attempt to come up with something, I looked over this past year (lent to lent) to review- see what was what. After some prayer and thinking I have come up with this:

-I comfort eat. BIG time. When I am sad, happy, angry, confused, stressed, anxious, hurt, pleased- anything- I eat. Not to be confused, I never reach for fruit or raw veggies. Nope. For me it is all crisps and chips and wine gums and then some more crisps. Ok, and some peanuts or cashews as well. Reflecting on this past year I can see some really tough times where my first reaction should have been to really seek the Lord's direction. Instead I found my answers in a bag of West Country Bacon and Cream Cheese Red Sky Crisps. *(they are amazing! I am shipping some over so come to my house when i first land if you want a bite. they wont last long believe me!)*

I didn't really find any answers, but I did find a huge amount of time and energy wasted eating crap and then feeling bad about eating so much crap. A waste. Energy and effort better spent elsewhere.

-I am lazy. Given that the previous discovery was that I eat bags and bags of crips at a time, I can imagine that there is a picture forming in your mind of me, slouched over on the sofa, gourging myself on crisps all day long. That is not quite the case. But I have found by reading through journals and looking at past experiences that sometimes it is all too easy for me to pick the more comfortable, easy thing of staying home instead of getting out to exercise.

This is crucial because exercising is one of the times when I really connect one-to-one with Jesus. I have great prayer time, listen to sermons, scripture and worship music. It is a really soul feeding time and I notice it tremendously when it is not there.

So what am I going to do with those two revelations? And what does it have to do with Lent?

I am giving up snacking on crap outside of normal meal times and I am commiting to exercise in some form everyday.

If I put it out there in the blogging world than it means I actually have to stick to it! Accountability and all that. And what that sentence really says is that I am going to refocus my time and energy onto God. When I am distressed, stressed, upset or even happy instead of finding a snack, I am first going to seek out Jesus. Instead of watching reruns of Cogar Town (which is awesome!) I will get on my running shoes and spend some time talking to God. As I said, Lent is a time for me to really redirect my attentions to things that matter; to get back on track with what is really important. 40 days sounds like a long time at the moment, but I am trusting that the fruit of the sacrifice will make it feel like it was even a sacrifice at all.

to do list

2011-03-07T08:27:00.002Z

-Finish collecting 'British' food etc... to ship back to America. (custard creams, wine gums, squash(juice), digestive biscuits etc....)

-Fill in US Customs declarations and tax forms. in triplicate. awesome.

-Organise hire van for Friday morning to drive boxes to London

-Correctly label and allocate all 37 boxes, 3 backpacks, 4 suitcases, 2 strollers, 1 car seat, a play kitchen and 1 drawing board. yeah, somehow we ended up with lots of stuff to ship. and customs demands precision packing!

-clean out bedrooms for a final check

-E's doctor appointment.

-Order in new contacts. (i'm out. great timing)

-Finish packing up eleri's toys. How do you pack up toys when you still have 5 weeks left? that's a tough one!

-Last ladies dinner at church on Thursday, organise menu.

-Finish plans for 'leaving do' for 19 March.

-Make pancakes for Pancake Day on Tuesday. (it's what the Brits call Fat Tuesday)

-Get hair cut (my fringe is crazy long)

-and the most important thing on the list: play with eleri and hang out with Rhys.

Lots to do this week. Unfortunately, quite a bit is boring paperwork but hey ho- its got to get done at some point. Joys of moving a family across an ocean.

I love getting post!

2011-03-02T13:10:00.003Z

Today I received this through the post

Ah, my passport. Not only does this mean that Rhys and I are officially, documents in hand, 100% free from immigration control for the rest of our lives, but it also means that I have TWO passports. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but that makes me pretty awesome. At least I feel pretty awesome.

As mentioned before, I have always wanted to have another passport. At one point in my life, I figured out how I could get 4 different passports. It's a completely legit plan folks, if only Rhys would go along with it I would be set! But having a British passport is incredibly freeing.

We have spent several months out of every year since we got engaged worrying about immigration. We have spent countless hours filling in paperwork, sitting in government offices, going from one embassy to a consulate, back to an embassy. By the time you add up travel costs to embassy/consulate, paperwork fees, administration fees, passport fees, and general documentation costs we have spent nearly £20,000. (thats nearly $40,000) Just think, for that we could have paid off a good chunk of a mortgage or gone on some pretty rad holidays.

so that passport means a lot to me. Aside from the fact that we will be savings tens of thousands of dollars, it opens up the option for our family to live and work pretty much anywhere in the world. There are lots of places that Americans are not welcome. Granted most of those places I would not really want to visit anyway, but now I can travel to and from Cuba. I have been wanting to go on holiday there for a while and now I can! Plus we can work in any European country(EU country, I should say), Canada, India, Australia, New Zealand, Gibraltar, some Pacific islands and of course, the good ole' UK/US. having these two passports opens up quite a few doors.

so yeah, it was pretty awesome to fulfil my life long dream of duel citizenship. But even more awesome to think of the adventures that now await my family and I. Today is a good day for Team Williams.

I LOVE IKEA

2011-03-01T14:38:00.005Z

I really like IKEA. I know some people think it is cheap crap (my husband being one of those) but I LOVE it. I have never actually purchased IKEA furniture, and Rhys did have a rather bad experience with some, but I love all the little products. The baskets, the bags, candles, plates, pictures, lampshades, toys etc... I could spend hours in IKEA- wasting both time and money.

Yesterday some friends and I took our babies and headed down to our local IKEA for a day out. They do really cheap and tasty hot meals in the cafe, and great coffee in the bistro. Plus there are toy centres and play lands scattered through out the store. It has all the makings for a perfect day out. And yesterday did not disappoint.

I could not have asked for more perfect timing. We got their, played a bit, had some lunch, e picked out some toys and then she went to sleep in her stroller. For 2.5 hours. And I had baby free shopping time! £70 later we had some coffee and headed home. It was an awesome day, causing my love of IKEA to only grow stronger.

I have taken a picture of two of my favourite purchases. Cloth veggies for ele to put in her kitchen...

And a lampshade for e's new room in America.

I know we don't even have a house yet, let alone a room, but the shade is awesome! I left the plastic on it because we are shipping our stuff and I wanted it to stay nice. It is white with hand embroidered flower designs. I love it!

I also came away with a few more toys (hey they were only £1!) and some baskets for our bathroom in America. Apparently I am planning ahead! ha, I just couldn't help myself. I love IKEA.

What about you guys? Like IKEA or think it is cheap crap? Let's here what you have to say.

woo hoo friday!

2011-02-25T11:49:00.001Z

It is Friday. We have some great friends coming to stay for the weekend. My daughter is awesome. There is a lot to be happy about and as the Friday post stays up all weekend, I wanted to leave on a happy note.

So, check out this picture of e when she was 3 months old. Adorable!! As cheesy as it is, they do grow up so fast!

Happy weekend everyone! Enjoy!

my third home

2011-02-25T10:29:00.003Z

Something has been on my heart all week. I have hesitated to write about it because I was afraid it would come off trite. There is massive political, social and economic unrest all over the world. There are wars, famine and death all around. People are kidnapped, children are killed and families torn apart. It is safe to say that you could pick almost any country and find a horrible tragedy.

But one in particular has stood out to me.

I hesitate to devote a post to it because perhaps it is selfish that this particular place has stood out. Perhaps I am focused on this one place because places like Lybia and their unrest really frighten me about the future. Perhaps I care more because I have a connection. I suppose in life we do that. But I can't seem to get this tragedy out of my head.

On 22 February Christchurch, New Zealand was hit by a 6.3 earthquake. As of 5 minutes ago, the death toll has risen to 113. I imagine that number will continue to increase as the recovery work continues and the ruble is cleared. No one has been pulled out alive from the wreckage since Wednesday. There are still close to a hundred missing. I am fighting the tears as I write this.

New Zealand holds a place in my heart that no other place can ever fill. Just as much as London and Oklahoma are my homes, so is New Zealand. I truly discovered the Kristina I am today in New Zealand. I met my husband in New Zealand. I got my masters degree in New Zealand. I fell in love with a culture, a people, and a lifestyle that I have forever tried to emulate because of New Zealand. My heart truly came home and settled for the first time in New Zealand.

Buildings, memorial bridges, churches, the Cathedral, pubs, and homes that all hold special memories are destroyed. And my heart is sad because of it.

I have dear friends in New Zealand who have lost their loved ones in the earthquake and my heart is breaking for them.

A friend of mine who runs a hostel in Christchurch escaped with her life, but her livelihood is gone. And my heart is aching for her.

I cant imagine what life will be like in New Zealand now. It is an interesting culture to try and explain to people who have never been. The entire country, comprised of two small islands, is roughly 2/3 the size of Missouri. The people are very tight knit. It doenst matter if you live in Auckland, you are hurting for Christchurch. I have never been to a place that whole heartily embraces the idea of 'brotherly love' more completely than New Zealand. Even states known for their southern hospitality pale in comparison to the generosity and compassion New Zealanders show for their fellow man.

I have said it before, and it still holds true, that although New Zealand is not an overly religious country, Christians could learn a lot about how to act just by observing their culture. New Zealand is a visual explain of what the Church, the body of Christ, should look like. Compassionate, selfless, forgiving, giving, caring, helpful, and living in kindness. The people are open and willing to lend a hand. This is not an exaggeration; I have never encountered such wholesale kindness by a people in all the 30 countries I have been to.

I could list example after example of people going out of their way for me during my months in NZ. Like the time my credit card wouldn't work at the rental car company and the owner let me take the car anyway, saying he would trust me to come back and pay later in the week, because knew I needed the car and was willing to help. Or the family that overheard me at a payphone one day about how I was lonely and missed my family and promptly invited me back to their house for dinner. Another time a couple offered to pay for my groceries because they knew what it was like to travel and be on a budget. Then there were the girls who invited me to their table for coffee and snacks because I was on my own; the National Archives worker who did whatever he could to help as he knew I was on a limited time frame- even though it meant putting off his own project. I could go on and on with story after story of New Zealanders showing examples of love, charity, hospitality, and generosity.

I vividly remember an email I sent out to my friends in 2005 when I was still in NZ describing the culture. I compared it to the church then, but even as I do the same now, I am still struck by the comparison. I am called to help out those in need, to love unconditionally, and to act in kindness because I love and follow Jesus. The Bible tells us to do those things, and as a follow of Christ, I should do my best to live by Biblical standards. Sadly, I fall short more than I would like to admit. The church as an institution is called to do those same things as well. Like me, they too fall short. I am not saying that New Zealanders are perfect. Heck they have more bars than any other place I have been too and a fairly high percentage of people with drinking problems. The islands have their fare share of shortcomings as does every place. But I am saying that if you look at their lifestyle- they seem to get it right. (And we could learn from their culture.) And it makes me sad that tradegy has struck.

I have no doubt that they will rally around each other and do what they can to move forward. I have no doubt that they will pull together and make Christchurch what it was before. But my heart hurts for them.

Selfishly my heart hurts a little because the places that hold some of my dearest memories with Rhys are now gone. We walked together in the Cathedral which is half missing. We shared many a pint and laugh (and even a cheeky dance and kiss) in a famous pub, which is now destroyed. I know I still have the memories, but part of me wanted to go back and visit- walking in those same spots. And I will no longer have that chance.

I am sad that people are dying. I am sad that so many lives are being ripped apart. I am sad that homes and families are forever changed because of one afternoon. I am just sad.

Please, if you haven't been doing so already, join me in praying for the people of New Zealand. Please pray specifically for my friends John and Elizabeth who have lost their home, their hostel and their way of life. Please pray for all the families and friends of those dead and missing. Pray for God's power to come and take over the situation. I may not understand the situation, or why it had to happen, but I do believe that God is in control.

Livin' it up Roman style: Day 3 & 4

2011-02-24T13:21:00.019Z

Ah, back to the Rome posts- try to contain yourselves. I know it is hard with all the anticipation....

Day 3 was the last full day we had in Rome. It was also the most fantastic. In part from a historical perspective as this was the day we visited the Roman Forum, Palatine Hill (my favourite!!) and the Colessum. And in part because Rhys and I had just had some amazing moments.

We started the day with a couple of donuts and coffee courtsey of the crazy, chain smoking B&B owner and then made our way down to the Colosseum. The first time I went to Rome was in 2004 with Stef and Leah. We wanted to check out all the sights and according to the tube map, taking the 'Colosseo' stop was the way to do it. I will never forget walking up the steps from the tube, stepping into the street and immediately being overwhelmed by the enorminty of the ancient structure. There, less than 100 meters in front of the tube enterence, is the colosseum- towering high above the street, in all it's broken glory. It took my breath away and left in it's place an image that will never be erased. I wanted Rhys to experience the same thing so instead of walking to the ruins, we took the tube. He was just as awe struck 7 years later as I was on that summer day back in 2004. (and yet somehow I did not get a picture. i suck)

After the inital schock wore off, we wandered down to Constantine's Arch. It was constructed in 315 AD by the senate to honour Constantine's victory over a rival. It is massive. As an interesting side note, the Arc di Triumph in Paris is modeled after this arch.

We continued on to the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill. Per a handy tip from a guide book, we went to the Hill first to buy ticekts. The €12 covers entry into both the ruins and the Colosseum. However the queue for the Palatine Hill is never long. Even in off peak time, the Colosseum queue was huge. With a ticket, you can queue jump. awesome. no waiting for us.

So here we are standing by the Arch of Titus. It was built by Titus' brother in 81 AD to honour the victories of Titus and Vespasian in the Judaean War. There is special inscreption on this arch to commerate the highlight of said conflict- the complete defeat and pillage of Jerusalem. The arch stood untouhed until 1471 when it was partially restored and used by the Frangipani family in their castle. That structure was demolished in 1821. In the same year the arch was dismantled (uh, how exactly do you dismantle a massive ancient arch?) and restored using travertine. The original material was marble, so you can see exactly where restorations have been made.

After the arch, we made our way around to the Temple of Venus and Rome. It is, or rather was, the largest temple ever built in Rome. It is thought to be desinged by Hadrian and finished in 135. It was damaged by a fire in 235, restored in 307 and remained completly intact and untouched until 625 when the bronze roofing tiles were stolen to create the ceiling in St. Peter's Basilica. Since then, it was left to go into disrepair and is only now being renovated.

The front part of the temple (where rhys and I are standing) is obviously in ruins, but the back part was turned into a convent and is still functioning. It is an amazing, massive structure to see- even today.

The temple sits on a high and as we rounded the corner to make our way down to the forum, we had an amazing view of the ruins.

The area that is the Roman Forum stands in the very heart of Rome. A busy metropolis has come to surround this fantastic bit of ancient, untouched history. Orginally desinged as a market place in 625 BC, the forum was the epi-centre of ancient Rome. The area was usedf or everything from market stalls to religious worship. As such, it the forum was divided into 3 areas- Religious, Political and Commerical. The senate houses and college of priests were headquareted here. The famous Vestal Virgins and the Temple of Vesta made its home in the forum. In the 2nd century BC, the market stalls were mved out and a judiciary moved in.

Below is the Temple of Saturn. To be honest, it is barely more than a pile of rocks, but it is thought to be the oldest standing temple in Rome, it was inagurated in 498 BC. People, that is old!

Everywhere you looked, there was a temple, church, grave or building that was thousands of years old. I could have easily spent hours and hours reading and researching. I would have even brought my own materials if Rhys had left me. If I ever win the lottery and have millions to spare, I will go back to school and study ancient Rome extensively. I took hundreds (literally) of pictures, but I will spare you.

After we left the forum area, we made our way up the Palatine Hill. There are many legends regarding the hill, but regardless of what story you believe, there is no doubt that it was on these very grounds that the ancient city was founded.

The most commonly believed 'tradition' is that the hill was settled first in 1184 BC. To quote the story from the Blue Guide "Sixty years before the Trojan War, Evander, son of Hermes and as Arcadian nymph, led a colony from Pallantion in Arcadia and built a town at the foot of the hill, naming it after his native village. Aeneas, who escaped from burning Troy after the Trojan War was welcomed here by Evander." Nice. I like that story. To continue on "Some classical authors give another explanation of the name Palatium: that it is derived from Pales, the goddess of flocks and shepherds, whose festival is celebrated on 21 April, the day on which the city of Rome is said to be founded by Romulus and Remus in 754 BC." **

Anyway you look at it, the place is crazy old, and covered in history. And as we were on a hill, we had some amazing views. check on the ruins- again.

just in case you wanted a panoramic shot as well :)

After the Forum and Palatine Hill, we headed over to jump the queue and have a look inside the Colosseum. It was incredible. I had never been inside before, but it was well worth the euros shelled out. As Charles Dickens said "It is the most impressive, the most stately, the most solemn, grand, majestic, mournful sight, conceivable. Never in it's bloodiest prime, can the sight of the gigantic Coliseum, full and running over with the lustiest life, have moved one heart, as it must have moved all who look upon it now, a ruin. God be thanked: a ruin!" a mouthful, but it sums it up nicely.

It was built in 70 AD and although is the most visited monument in Rome, it is the most under studied. It was only in 2007 that a full scale evaluation was conducted. I will not go into the history here because it is simply too long and too detailed. I do strongly recommend that you at least google the history and read up. It is fascinating; you will not be disappointed.

I will, however, offer this bit of information that I did not not before my visit. The Colosseum was obviously the forerunner of all modern arenas. But do you know why they are called arenas? Because back in the day, when they used to have bloody fights- you know to the death and all that- they covered the floor with arena to soak up the blood. yeah, arena means sand. interesting, no?

another interesting side note: the main train station is Rome is called Termini. You think terminal right? wrong. Termini means bath. The site is the ancient Roman baths. crazy eh?)

That said, here are some shots of us inside.

It was dusk by the time we left the Colosseum. They actually closed at dusk and they asked us to leave :) We made our way back to the B&B and found ourselves at sunset on the Pont' de Angelo. I tried to capture the moment, but I only got one picture before my camera died. And I didn't bring the charger.

This picture ends the visual part of my Roman tour, but I am not finished until I relay one further story. It ranks in the top 5 of 'best moments of my life'

After a shower, run around the Vatican (thats right folks, even on holiday you still gotta run!) and a wonderful dinner of pasta, Rhys and I decided we should make a somewhat early night of it as we were leaving the next day. We spent hours walking all over the city, getting lost on purpose just to make the night last longer, but eventually we found ourselves back at the bridge. the same bridge we walked over several times a day. But that night it was different.

The bridge was deserted save one older gentleman. He sat alone, playing a guitar. Not busking or begging, just playing for his own enjoyment. His own and ours. We walked along, hand in hand, as the moonlight danced upon the water. The tune changed and as the slow cords of "Your Song" filled the air, Rhys took me in his arms and we started to dance. I wish I could have captured that moment. The star light casting a gentle glow, the soft hum of the water rushing beneath the bridge, the cold air forcing me close to Rhys and slow strumming of the guitar. Rhys sang along...."I hope you dont mind that I put into words how wonderful life is now that your in this world...."

I couldn't have imagined a better moment. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. It was the perfecting ending to our time in Rome. After the song finished, the guitarist picked up the beat and we kept walking down the road. But for those few moments, we were the only two people in the world, dancing ever so slowly, on the streets of Rome. Day three, success.

Day 4 consisted of breakfast, a quick last walk around St Peter's and the Vatican and then it was off to the airport and back to reality. It was an amazing time; such a worth while trip. Our last big hurrah in Europe? Success

** Macadam, Alta. Blue Guide, Rome. Sommerset Books, London. 2010.
Website: blueguides.com

goodbye london.....foreeeverrrrrr

2011-02-21T10:22:00.005Z

Remember that Friends episode where Phoebe and Rachel were convinced that the friend group was splitting up? And everyone was trying to get Joey on their side? The line where Phoebe is leaving the coffee shop and says "goodbye Ross....Forrreeeeverrrrrr" is probably one of my favourite Friends lines ever. I am not sure if this makes me sad or not, but it is part of everyday conversational use between Rhys and I.

And it was the theme of this weekend. Everything I did with the baby mama's was the last time I would do it....forreeeverrrrr. Last Indian with the girls. last drink in town. Last time out....foreeverrrr.

It is not really, we have booked a round trip ticket and are coming back in September. We will have a get together then and I will do all the same Watford/London things in a few months time. But this past weekend was the last time I will be up before I leave. And it was bittersweet.

Great to have a night out, sans baby, with some of my dearest friends. Great to have some shopping time Saturday, again sans baby. But it was sad to come back to London. Driving in it felt like home. When I first moved there, I can safely say that 'home' was the last thing London felt like. But on Friday I drove right past my old flat and my heart sunk a little. It was our home as a married couple, the house we brought Ele home to. It was the place where some of my fondest memories were made. It is true what they say about looking at the past with rose coloured glasses. This weekend none of the negative aspects of life in London were thought about. Nothing about the fact that 380 sq feet is not enough space for a family. Nothing about the incredible cost of living that London comes with, nothing about the fact that if we still lived there I would have to work full time for the rest of my life to even make ends meet. Nothing about the traffic, congestion, crime or over crowded schools. nope. none of that. Just the glorious-ness that was all the good times of our 4 years there. Those were the only things focused upon. And I felt like I was home.

I had a good cry but soon got over myself and really enjoyed the weekend. I saw some of the babies on Friday, who can no longer be classed as babies but toddlers. Strange to think that we all met in 2009 without babies and now, here we are in 2011 with children that are pushing their second birthdays! Crazy. While the moms were feeding, I ran over to my friend Sam's house. Sam is crazy, but wonderful. She was my first female friend in Watford back in 2007. Without her my London experience would have been vastly different. And yes, she too got the 'this is the last time i will see you foreevverrrr' speech as well.

After goodbyes were said and babies were asleep, we whipped out the wine and dressed for the night. As I rarely have a chance to wear heels, these shoes made their appearance for my girly night out.

6 inches, but surprisingly easy to walk in. I love these shoes.

We had a great curry and a nice after dinner drink. The last time forreeeverrrrr. I love these girls. They mean the world to me. My time in London was amazing and some of that is due to this group of 6 girls. I didnt get a picture of all of us, but here are some shots from the night.

Saturday morning after some high street shopping, I headed out to the M25 for the 3 hour drive back to Wales. Tears were streaming down my face as I made my way out of London. It was an amazing 4 years. And as crazy as it sounds to most people who live in Watford, I love the town. It will always hold a dear place in my heart as my first home as a wife and as a mother. As I left, I felt like I was leaving a bit of myself behind. Good thing the memories will last foreverrrrr.

friday is a good day

2011-02-18T09:13:00.003Z

Later this afternoon I am headed to London! woo hoo! A night out with my baby mama's, an early morning coffee with my dear friend Hannah and then some shopping, on my own. No baby, no time shecdule- just me and the London high street. I am beyond excited.

This will be it for me until next week, so I will leave you all with this picture. I put Ele's coat on and asked if she wanted to go on a walk. She said yes and ran off. This is what she looked like when she came back. Awesome

interlude

2011-02-17T13:49:00.002Z

At some point in the near future I will finish the last two days of my Rome posts. But I am not in the mood to really write a historical post nor take the time to upload lots of pictures. I have a lot on my mind (as usual) and am packing for a night away in London with my baby mamas. I know I just had a holiday, but hey its never too soon for another one eh?

With only 9 weeks left in the UK, I am trying to cram as much in as possible. And if I am honest, with Peppa Pig's World, friends to visit, 6 nations games, one last IKEA trip, shipping our stuff out, seeing family and maybe a last minute trip to Barcelona- this will most likely be my last trip to London before I move.

weird.

Which brings me to the topic of today's post. Dreams.

Not the kind of dreams you have when you go to sleep, more like daydreams. The dreams where life is imagined in glorious and exciting ways. The dreams where anything and everything is possible, and more often than not, everything you could ever wish for comes true. I have been thinking a lot about these kind of dreams.

The university where I did my undergraduate work was a great place. No place is without its faults, but over all it was a fantastic place of education as well as personal and religious growth. At said university there was quite a bit of emphasis placed upon emotions/relationships. Not just boy/girl. ALL types of relationships- Jesus, friends, roommates, parents, yourself etc.... I can not even being to count the number of personality tests I had to take in my classes or the number of surveys I did on relationships and what should be expected/accepted. I say all of that to make this point. Largely due to the culture of my university, I made a list my first year of all the things I wanted to achieve in my life. Yes, my entire life was mapped out when I was 18.

I know I have mentioned the list before, but as a recap everything that was on my list has been accomplished. yes, everything. travel-check. travel alone-check. marry an international-check. make sure said international husband has a British accent-check. get a graduate degree-check. live overseas-check. have a child-check. and then the list kind of stops. I am not sure if I never really believed those things would happen. I mean, marrying a British guy and living in another country does sound like a pretty crazy thing when you are 18 and in school in Arkansas.

However, since 2004 I have literally been living my dream. Back and forth across the globe so many times I needed extra pages put in my passport; making a home in a foreign land; starting a family; having an incredible husband. My dreams have come true.

Apparently I forgot to keep on dreaming.

I think that is one of the reasons this move is so hard for me. I have achieved things I never really thought possible. And now that it is time to move on, I am afraid because I am not sure what I am moving on to- or that it is what I really want. After all, my dreams seem to stop after the international man and move. Sure I have made new lists. But the new lists are more practical, things that are actually necessary like supporting my daughter and making sure there is a roof over our heads. No crazy 'live in New Zealand, own a hostel but still find time to run with the bulls in Pamplona every year' kind of dreams.

It is time to dream big again. Just because I am married and have a kid, doesn't mean that I still can't come up with off the wall, seemingly impossible dreams. After all, my dreams came true before so why can't they again? I feel newly inspired today to really think about what kind of future I want for my family and my children and the dream big around that. I know myself well enough to know that I dont always fit perfectly into the conventional way of life. So its time to really embrace that and make some new dreams.

Livin' it up Roman style: Day 2

2011-02-15T13:37:00.019Z

*warning: this posted ended up super long. so long that I didnt proof read at all. excuse any spelling/grammer mistakes.*

The second day involved even more walking than the first day. Seriously, at least 50 miles. Ok so maybe not 50, but a fair few of miles were walked. We started the day with our hostel breakfast which consisted of coffee, juice and a few croissants. We wanted an early start because we were off to the Vatican and the Vatican Museum. The last time I went to the Vatican, I waited in a queue something like 3 hours to get inside. Granted, this is February and before was June- peak travel time- but better be on the safe side than waste precious hours standing in a queue. We walked straight in. Off season is awesome.

Rhys has never been to Rome and the Vatican and Sistine Chapel were top on his list of things to do. He was not disappointed. How can you be when you are seeing things like this

And even in the midst of amazing sculpture, paintings and architecture, there is always time for humour.

Even when you are surrounded, wall to wall, with incredible paintings by Raphel (and the like)

and of course, no trip to the Vatican would be complete without the standard self picture.

After 4 hours in the Vatican we ventured over to St. Peter's square to have a look around inside the basilica and the tombs of the popes. breathtaking (the basilica, not the tombs)

Here Rhys is kneeling on the original slab of porphyry which the emperors used to kneel upon for their coronation. It dates back to the old basilica (around 319 AD) and it is thought that Constantine accepted his role as emperor on this very stone. As a side note I should say that is no way was this stone marked in the basilica. It pays to have a thorough and informative guide book. (Blue Guide all the way!!)

On our way our of the basilica we saw this cardinal. I am not sure if he is someone special or not, but how crazy that a) this building is still a functioning religious epi-center some thousand plus years after its first use and b) that he just walks around, in all his cardinal-y gear, like it is something normal and mundane. Notice the two buys in colourful gear in the background? they are the official guards of the Vatican and basilica. Swiss Guards. and their uniform has not been updated since the 1600's. hmmmm, never would have guessed ;)

After St. Peter's we decided to take a walk, enjoy the sunshine and just see where we ended up. We ended up in an ancient stadium, once able to hold 30,000 spectators. The center ring is surrounded by churches, market stalls, restaurants and housing. Exactly as it was when it was built in 86 AD. The Piazza Navona as it is called, was updated in the Middle Ages and used for festivals, jousting competitions and a market place. From the late 17 to early 19th centuries, the piazza was flooded every August as a party for the Roman people. Nice, huh. Aside from being a major tourist attraction, the Piazza Novona is home to the famous Christmas fair every November.

Remember the post before we left for Rome? I just picked a picture of a cafe off the Internet. But look! We ended up at the same cafe! yeah, it was pretty awesome.

After a nice pizza for lunch, our next stop was Fontana di Trevi. A fairly recent structure, the fountain was started in the 15th century but updated and most of what we can see today was built in the 18th century. Interestingly though, the water used to supply the fountain are those of the Acqua Vergine Antica which is an ancient aqueduct built almost entirely underground. The aqueduct, supplied from a spring 20k east of the city, was built by Agrippa to supply the bath in the Pantheon in 19 BC. Now that is old. The same aqueduct channels and spring are still used to supply the fountain with water even today.

As tradition goes, if you through a coin in over your shoulder it will ensure good luck and guarantee your return. Naturally we did as such. The coins are collected every Monday from the fountain and donated to Caritas- a church organisation which helps the poor of the city. Money well spent.

After the fountain we wandered around, eventually coming to Trinita dei Monti. The structure consists of a church, , twin bell towers, a convent and a double set of stairs numbering over 100. Begun by Louis XII in 1943, it was restored at the expense of Louis XVIII after damage caused by Napoleon and his occupation. The convent is still a functioning convent and there are plenty of nuns milling about. (can I say that about nuns?) Rhys and I decided to walk to the top of the stairs to get a view of the city from the top. However, before we could take in the view, we were distracted by a man who was clearly a member of the Italian mafia.

Seriously, you can not tell me that he doesn't look like something straight out of the Godfather. I was almost too afraid to take a picture, but it was simply too awesome to pass up.

As the sun was beginning to set, we found ourselves at the Piazza del Popolo. It was built in the 15th century as an entrance to Rome from the north. While that date is 'modern' compared to some of the ancient ruins left around the city, there is an obelisk (not pictured) which dates from the 12th century BC. 12 century BC. that is crazy old.

As an interesting side note, Queen Christina (often noted: Kristina) of Sweden made her entry into Rome through this very area in 1655, dressed as an amazon. For the sake of space (and most people's interest) I will not go into all the details here, but if you are the least bit interested in history, I would recommend reading about Queen Christian. She is the only not emperor, not religious person to be buried in St. Peter's. Look at that, another interesting fact. I am just full of them ;)

We finished the night off with a great dinner of gnocchi and wine at a very picturesque Italian cafe. We went to bet tired and sore from the massive amount of walking, but pleased to have another successful day under our belts.

Livin' it up Roman style: Day 1

2011-02-14T13:41:00.019Z

Rome was awesome. Yes, awesome. It was an incredible trip, both for historical sights and emotional well being. Rhys and I lived it up. Ate loads of food, drank our fair share of wine, walked miles in search of the best sights, of course hitting the majors- Vatican, Colosseum, Roman Forum, St. Peter's Basilica- and even found the time to make out. a lot. because you can do that when you don't have a little toddler constantly craving your attention.

Mostly for my benefit (and that of my parents back home), I am going to divide the holiday into 4 posts, one for each day. I still journal like there is no tomorrow, but on the blog I can add pictures. And I want this record for the times I am feeling low in America- I can read back through and remember the awesomeness that is Rome.

After a 4am start, Rhys and I wasted no time in falling straight asleep on the plane. Usually I dread long flights, but I could have handled a few more hours of sleeping this time. However a mere two and half hours of sleep later, we landed in Rome. Sunny and 15 (60's) a nice change from the crap, rainy 5 (30) we left in Wales. As Rhys and I like to consider ourselves 'seasoned travellers' we bypassed the easy jet offer of €8 tickets to the center terminal and decided to do it the local way. We managed to get around and find the local bus, a measly €1.20 to the center. funny thing? the same people on our flight who bought the easy jet tickets were on our bus. look how excited we are at saving the money....pays to shop around.

45 minutes later we had managed to find the right train and make it to our tube stop for the hostel. Finding our hostel proved to be not as easy. We had directions and street names, yet it took nearly an hour of walking up and down, asking people, and going around in circles to find the right building. No thanks to the shop owner who said "ah, so so, i donta know but kind of where-a to go. this way, no the other way. ah, so so. maybe I dont know whicha way to go" nice man, but not so helpful.

I thought I had booked a hostel. In reality, I had booked a B & B. And by B & B I mean a mans flat with 3 extra bedrooms that he rented out. And he smoked. a lot. The positive side? He was very friendly, we had our own room/bathroom and the flat was close to the tube stop. the down side? He smoked. a lot. As the weather was so nice, we could open a window and the room mostly aired out by the end of the day. ah, crazy smoking Italians....

As soon as we shed our bags, Rhys and I were out the door to explore. Our first stop was St. Peter's Square.

After the square we decided to head over to Castel Sant' Angelo and pay for our first visit to ancient Rome. Well worth the €16 it cost for the two of us to get in, the castle was unbelievable.

Castel Sant' Angelo was originally begun by Hadrian as a mausoleum for himself and his family. Work started in 128 AD and the structure was finished one year after Hadrian's death in 139 AD. Over the years the building was used as burial grounds, a palace, a prison, and even official papal property. Marble and stone was taken from this building for use in St. Peter's basilica. It was pillaged in the middle ages and elaborately decorated by several popes. In the late 1800's it was occupied by French troops and finally made into a museum in 1930. What we see today is what remains- a really old, historically amazing building.

In fact it is so old that there are signs everywhere like the one below. Age of Hadrian. People that is OLD. Even if you do not enjoy history as much as I do, you can appreciate the importance of this.

Below is a picture of the original burial chamber of Hadrian.

Here I am in one of the top walk ways, you know, just standing in a spot where Hadrian could have stood- 2000 years ago! crazy. Or let me put it this way- this walkway where I am standing is over 1500 years older than America as a country.

The castle provided incredible views of the city. The pictures do not do the view justice, but it was the best we could do with a point and shoot camera. Believe me when I say it was breathtakingly beautiful.

After an extensive tour of the castle and quite a few hours of wandering around the city, it was time for dinner. There was no discussion of where to go, it was already decided. The Hard Rock Cafe.

Hard Rock Cafe is our 'thing'. It started 6 years ago in Barcelona. We couldn't decide on a place to eat and somehow ended up at the Hard Rock. We spent the entire night talking about music. Since then we have tried to hit a Hard Rock Cafe in every major city we have been to. And we still spend the majority of the evening discussing music. It is just as awesome 6 years later as it was that very first night. Barcelona, New York, London, Dallas, Paris and now Rome. Here we are enjoying our traditional Hard Rock Cafe meal.

After dinner we decided to walk back to our flat instead of using the tube. That and the tube was closed from 9pm on due to work. But hey, why not make the most of a gorgeous evening? We walked and walked and walked. And then walked some more. After a few turns down some side streets and a couple funny street names, we were lost. In front of a giant, ancient obelisk, but lost none the less. I, or course, decided to document the map moment with yet another self picture. (yes, rhys did get sick of the pictures. his facial expressions start to show it...)

But we managed to find our way (thanks to Rhys' awesome map reading skills) and shortly found ourselves in front of the Pantheon.

The building, originally built in 27 BC to commemorate victory over Antony and Celopatra, was damaged and rebuilt several times over the years. It is assumed (with quite a bit of certainty) that the building we see today was actually built/modified by Hadrian in 118 AD. It was closed under the first Christian emperor, pillaged by the Goths, eventually restored by a pope and today open to the public as arguably one of the most famous of the Roman ruins. I say 'ruin' but in actuality it is wonderfully preserved and quite a bold symbol of the capability and enormity of Roman skill and architecture. (i have a feeling that I will type that exact sentence several more times over the coming days)The Pantheon is an incredible structure to see.

As we wandered around the streets, we gradually made our way back to the Castel Sant' Angelo and the Ponte Sant' Angelo. It was beautiful lit up for the night, reflecting off the water. It was a sight worth seeing in the day, but well worth the visit at night.

Our last stop of the day, which ended up being our last stop every single day, was St. Peter's Square at night. It was deserted, again off season Rome, and beautiful. Most nights we were the only two people in the square. Well, us and the two Polizia that rode around on a golf cart. It was so peaceful. Our first night we spent a good while just walking around the square, holding hands and enjoying each other. Eventually we headed back to our place. It had been a long day, but an amazing one. First day was a success.

Rome!

2011-02-08T13:52:00.003Z

Wednesday morning at 4am Rhys and I are off to Rome. No baby, just the two of us. Oh, excitement abounds. For the next 5 days I will be seeing things like this....

and this....

and probably eating at cool, little places like this.

Ah, it will be awesome. I am so excited for just the two of us to get away. This trip was actually Rhys' Christmas present, it just worked out for us to go now.

Did I mention I was excited? Oh, I cant wait! So until next Monday, this is it for me. Enjoy the rest of your weeks and weekends. I will be loving mine!

it wasn't intentional...

2011-02-07T13:37:00.002Z

Well, not really intentional. As I was typing out the post regarding out recent decision in the transition to America, I was caught up in my thoughts and it did not occur to me that I hadn't actually mentioned where we were moving. Once I hit publish and read through it later, I realised I left left the state out. But I decided not to go back and type it in. No particular reason except that it was a tough decision, one that we are still processing.

We have dear friends in both places. And I know that either Arkansas or Boston would provide us with great opportunities. And it was excruciatingly difficult to make the decision. As I said before, no place will have everything we want.

But I will tell you, my blogging friends, where it is that we are moving.

Arkansas.

We have said from the beginning that it doesn't have to be forever. We reserve the right to say that middle America is not for us and move to Boston. Heck, we reserve to right to say America is not for us and move back to Europe. Just as we felt it time to move on from London, we want to stay open and honest to our needs as a family and a couple and realise that someday it may be time to move on again.

But for now, it is Arkansas.

Go Wales!

2011-02-04T14:28:00.013Z

Tonight is the first game of the 6 nations. Wales v England. One of my goals on the 'Europe list' was to get Rhys tickets to the game. and I manged to get a ticket, but sadly I could only get one. So Rhys is going to the game but little e and I are supporting from the house instead of the stadium. Regardless, we are still proudly sporting our jerseys.

This morning little e would squeak with delight and raise her little arms in the air and chant 'Wales, Wales, Wales' (to be fair, it sounded more like alhes, alhes, alhes but i knew what she was saying) I decided it was too great of a photo opportunity to pass up so out came the camera. As soon as she saw it, no smile. no chant. no arms waving in the air. just this face.

The face that says "mom, you take WAY too many pictures. no more. I am done. No smiles from me today!"

I kept trying to get a good shot, but as soon as she saw the camera, anything became more interesting than me.

"look a giant measuring cup. this is way more fun than smiling for my mom"

"ooooh, I can pretend to drink and cover my entire face at the same time. this way mom can't get a good shot at all. "

"look mom, my entire arm fits in the pint glass. fun right?"

and then she decided she had to stick her tongue out in every picture.

so we settled on this on. still no smile or 'go wales' hands in the air, but she is still adorable.

Peace

2011-02-03T14:40:00.004Z

Iit is something I have not truly felt for quite a while. But I have peace now. And it is a glorious feeling.

A few nights ago rhys and i sat down to have a conversation. THE conversation regarding which state we should move to. For a while it was Arkansas without a doubt. But the 'without a doubt' bit was roughly in place around 9 months ago. Now there is lots of doubt. We had opportunities in Boston, Arkansas, Houston, Tulsa, Denver and so. It seemed that the closer it came to moving date (27 April) the more options appeared and the harder the decision became.

As I am a list person, we sat down and made some lists to aide in the decision making process. First we made a list of why we wanted to move to Boston. Then we made a list of why we wanted to move to Arkansas. If I am being honest, the Arkansas list was quite a bit shorter. Then we made lists of why we did not want to move to both the places. After about 45 minutes it seemed like we were going around in circles. so we made one last list.

what do we want the most from life in the next few years?

The top of list? a kitchen where you can not simultaneously touch all the walls. This point was followed closely by a kitchen where you can fit two people in at the same time. And point number three was a bathroom where you could not sit on the toilet, brush your teeth in the sink and wash your feet in the tub all at the same time. I feel those are fairly reasonable requests. beyond those the list went something like this: own a house with 3 bedrooms, have a back and/or front garden, be close to at least one set of parents, have a great church/christian community, a decent rugby team, a big city, culture, good schools (my preference is private with fancy uniforms ) easy access to the UK and did i mention a home? with space. a spacious home. *(note: to us anything over 600 sq feet is spacious. massive in fact as we have never lived in a space bigger than 400 sq)

As I said to a friend earlier in the week, no place will have everything that we want. No matter how much i want to create the perfect place it simply will never exist for Rhys and I. Let me unpack that statement. Both Rhys and I grew up with our grandparents on our door step. We interacted with our extended family often as both sets of grandparents, cousin, aunts, uncles etc... all lived in our home towns. We had our own rooms, mothers that stayed home with us and were involved in our lives as well as opportunities to travel as a family. We want those same things for our kids. But it will never happen. ALL of our cousins, aunts, grandparents will never live in the same town. I am american- so is my family. Rhys is british- so is his family. One set of family will always live in another country. The UK is expensive. a big city is costly. To live in one it usually means both parents have to work. And work full time. Thinking about it, I dont know anyone over here that stays home full time after their maternity leave is up. It is not fiscally possible. But moving to a place that allows the chance for me to stay home means we lost the big city (i.e. London) lifestyle. see? No place will ever have everything that we want. I can not smash together America and Europe, the mid west and a coastal city, busy metropolis with farming community. I want it all, and that does not exist. Accepting this has made the decision easier.

So with lists made and realistic expectations in place, we explored our options with fresh perspective. What place will provide us with the community that we want, the opportunity to own our own home- complete with kitchen and bathroom big enough for two- and create the family life that we so desperately want? We have reached a decision.

And I have great peace about said decision. It is nice to finally have a direction. Sad to leave europe. Really sad. But great to know we are one step closer to some dreams becoming a reality.

something new: january

2011-02-02T03:00:00.000Z

One of my 'life list' goals for 2011 was to do something new everyday. at first i thought i was being a little ambitious. but one month into 2011, i think that it is actually quite an achievable goal.

now that i am a wife, mother and the official organiser for our family, i live by my planner. dont misunderstand, i am not any more structured today than i was 10 years ago. typing that i am not sure if that is a good or bad thing?... regardless, i write the daily menu, daily tasks, weekly tasks and any special notes in my planner. even if i only write down one thing to accomplish for the day, if it is in the book, it gets recognized and done.

all of that to say that i look often in my planner. at the end of the day when i am going over what is on the agenda for tomorrow, i simply recap the day and record the one new thing i tried. knowing i am going to write it down at the end of the day makes me do one new thing. see? achievable goal.

we had a busy january. i think january's tend to be busy regardless. coming back from holidays and sorting yourself back into the regular routine. I managed to do quite a few exciting, new things this month. and I also managed to do some stupid, new things. for example, creating a new family tradition? good. drinking a jaggerbomb through a straw? not so good. but regardless below is the complete list of all my 'something news' for the month.

-11 January became 'Oriental Food Day' for team williams. Coincidentally this also achieve another 'life list' goal: make a new tradition for every month. We randomly assigned the 11th to be oriental food day. my something new consisted of making fried sweet chili chicken from scratch as well as making sprout, bamboo and spring onion thin chicken from scratch. they were both fantastic. (and yes, from scratch needs to be emphasised because i am not much of a cook)
-e helped me unload the dishwasher- even the glass
-ELIM women's church group meeting
-Welsh school
-fancy dress party: e went as a Spanish Flamenco dancer
-made oven chips
-Sunday dinner with katherine and john (church friends)
-Brecon town with new friend Beth
-new brown vest for e
-e ate bangers and mash for the first time
-ran for the first time in 8 weeks
-marked 'British' on a form instead of American.
-night walk with rhys and e
-went to the pub with both the kids for afternoon pop drinks
-went on a walk in the rain with e
-had katherine over at night
-drank a jaggerbomb through a straw
-saw Jimmy Carr live
-took part one of the British Driving test
-had my hair cut and ended up with full fringe (bangs)
-went to Royal Lemington Spa
-discovered ebay Fashion Outlet
- Llangorse playgroup with e
-all day Merthyr outing
-went to school with Nia in the morning for no reason
-coffee Saturday morning with rhys whilst e napped (unheard in our house!)
-pizza for lunch for e

his armband proved....

2011-01-31T22:21:00.005Z

the premiership is a funny thing. i dont want to assume that just because a good portion of those who read this blog are american females that the english premier league is not understood- but just in case i will explain.

the premier league is one of the biggest football leagues in the world. ah, soccer leagues i should specify. it is arguably the most recognizable with teams like Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea. even if you are not the sporty type of person, chances are you have heard of a team that plays in the premier league. and it is not only Brits that play in the permier league. people from all over the world, even some americans, count themselves as players in the most competitive sporting league in the world.

we are liverpool supporters. Well, i say we, but my first choice is Burnley. as they were relegated last year to the Championship I support liverpool until we make it back up. that and QPR on the side. but i hate chelsea. i know you are not suppose to hate anything, but chelsea fans are the worst. seriously. it is hard to explain english football fans to people who have not lived in the UK. it is not just a game. it is so much more, sometimes life and death. literally. and chelsea are the worst. or at least the worst to me. for nearly two years I commuted right through chelsea. (the team is named after the area they are located in London: Chelsea. more background for you there) Chelsea is one of the wealthiest areas of the city. but the fans are awful. awful, awful, awful. after a long day at work the last thing i wanted to do was be forced to stand shoulder to shoulder with large, smelly, drunk men chanting and singing about chelsea. boo chelsea.

but back to liverpool.

liverpool has their fair share of hooligans as well. but since i am far, far away from liverpool i dont see any of them. its much easier to support them peacefully. and one of Liverpool's players whom i enjoy supporting is Fernado Torres. He is a young Spanish footballer who transfered from a differnt club back in 2007.

the thing with football fans is they like to sing. come to think of it everyone in the UK likes to sing at sporting events- not just football. but i digress. the point is the liverpool fans came up with a song about Torres. click on the link and watch the full minute and twenty seconds. not only do you hear the song, but you see how crazy fans are.

we have sung Eleri the Fernando Torres song since birth. the first few months it was only that song and 'jesus loves me' that calmed her down. sad? perhaps. but true. all you have to do is start off with 'his armband proved he was a red...torres, torres' and she giggles away.

however, the other thing about the premiership that i haven't explained is the 'transfer window'. they can trade/buy players only certain times a year. off season in the summer and january. just the month of january. tonight at midnight the transfer window closes.

and Torres is in talks to leave Liverpool

and go to Chelsea.

remember my feelings about Chelsea? yeah, they suck.

i am hoping that it is all a big rumor and Torres was really not on Roman Abramovich's private helicopter being airlifted to chelsea tonight. but chances are he was. and chances are liverpool will sell him for the £50 million chelsea has offered. that was not a typo- fifty million pounds. here i am struggling to buy a plane ticket home and Torres is on just over £110,000 a week payment and a club wants to buy him for £50. perspective eh? but thats another story entirely.

the point of my 10 pages about football is that Torres is more than likely leaving liverpool and Eleri will be out of a song. this is a big deal in Kristina's world. I love the Torres song almost as much as Ele. and i am sad that today could be the last day we can sing it. yes, i am preparing myself to mourn the loss of a song. here's hoping that i will awake tomorrow with the news that Fernando is at Anfield to stay.

"his armband proved that he red, Torres, Torres....."

*edit: i have been told the link doenst work. so go to you tube and type in: Fernando Torres song on the Kop. ok, ok I know it requires some effort, but its a fun video. go do it. *

£1872

2011-01-31T11:42:00.003Z

it was 2006. i was about to finish my masters thesis and graduate. i was bored at work one day and decided that a good use of my time would be to look for cheap plane tickets. you know, just in case. i found a flight to london for around $250. it was the same day as my graduation ceremony. i thought about it and decided 2 seconds later that i would much rather be in london that in arkansas. and i impulsively bought the ticket.

now, 5 years later, i find myself looking for tickets again. granted the circumstances are vastly different. i am no longer single wanting to travel around the world (although i do still want to travel) i am searching for tickets for a family of three.

£1872 is the cheapest i can find from london to tulsa.

£1872.

if i was the cussing type here is where i would insert a long list of profanities at the outrages cost of air travel. what in the world!?! how do they expect people to afford that? nearly two thousand pounds!? sure, because most young families keep that kind of cash laying around. no problem.

but we have to go. there is no option. we have spent too much time, effort and money on rhys' visa to not immigrate. we are making the wise choice in coming to america. now if only there was an affordable way to get there. i realise the cost of living has increased since 2006. the cost of everything has increased. but seriously?! £1872. it is simply not affordable.

stupid cost of fuel and taxes.

so if any of you have a private jet you would like to share with us, that would be awesome. or if anyone has some spare tickets around we are more than willing to take those of your hands. in the meantime, my entire day today will be spent looking for cheap airfare. super fun. i imagine it will be a long, boring and costly day. good thing little e can occupy herself!

*edit: thanks for the comments/emails so far. to clarify: we want to travel some time mid to late April. and return to the UK sometime in September. destination can be either tulsa or dallas. Our flights have to originate from London (any airport is fine) and the first half of our trip- london to the US- eleri will be free as an under two. however the return leg -US to london- she will be over two and have to pay for a fare. awful i know. so i wont have any luck booking through a cheaptickets.com website. it has to be direct with the airline so they can arrange for the funny pricing. so there you go. those of you that enjoy looking for tickets and want to have a go- go! thanks. all the help is appreciated.

18 months

2011-01-28T13:29:00.002Z

first of all, thank you everyone for all your comments and emails. I really appreciate the input. it was about half and half. part of me was hoping that everyone who had a response would say the exact same thing and our decision would be made for us. i suppose that is not realistic, but a girl can dream eh? so whilst we are still mulling over all of our choices, i will give you a 'my baby is awesome' post.

the little one is 18 months old.

she is awesome. seriously.

so much has changed in the last few months. i have a proper toddler following me around all day. she wants to do everything that i do. and whilst she is not always successful (i.e. running on the treadmill) it is adorable to watch her learn new things and explore.

here are some of the things that she loves to do:
-wash herself in the bath
-comb her own hair (we have some awesome hairstyles, let me tell you)
-take off her clothes as bath time
-attempt to put on her shirt in the mornings
-feed herself everything
-really trying to drink out of a regular cup. we have some spills, ok quite a few spills, but she has to learn sometime right?
-stack blocks. 7 blocks is the highest she has stacked before she knocks them over. i think that is pretty good though.
-count on her hand. she can count to 3. if you say four and five she holds up her entire hand for both. we dont quite have the 4 fingers down yet.
-read books. she loves books. and our 'your baby can read' flashcards. yeah, flashcards. (i know i am a dork)
-laugh. she just breaks out in giggles and if people respond with a smile or a laugh, she just laughs even harder. it is one of my favourite things to see.
-e loves her daddy. as soon as rhys walks through the door, nothing else exists. just rhys.
-run. i have never known a baby to run as much as eleri. sometimes she runs so fast that her feet get ahead of her and she falls over (hard not to laugh, it is so cute) but she just gets back up and carries on. run, run, run.
-other kids. little e is overly friendly. she loves her cousin, she loves our neighbours little boy, and she loves each and every little kid she comes across at welsh school or playgroup. she wants to pat them or hug them, even tries to give kisses. not every other parent appreciates the kisses, but e doesnt care. she is so happy and so friendly. very outgoing.
-hide and seek. she cant get enough, which is not always a good thing as you will see later on.

we are still not very far on the talking front. the past few weeks she has attempted to say whatever words we are saying. but they are not clear and it is not all the time. she has about 20 words that she says and out of those 20 about 12 would be clear to a stranger. meaning someone other than her mom who understands what it is that she wants.

but talking and vocabulary are two very different things i have finding out. eleri has a massive vocabulary. she understands everything that we say to her. she just chooses to not speak back. for example, she knows almost the entire alphabet. she will correctly identify and point to most letters when you ask her what they are. and they do not have to be in the correct order to do so. she will do the same with numbers 1-10. she wont say any numbers beyond 3, but she knows them up to 10. and the same with colours. she will only say blue clearly, but she knows the other colours, and will point when asked. as far as words that she understands...well, let me tell you.

i was never a fan of 'baby talk.' when i was growing up, i always remember my mom telling us the correct word for everything. it was never a baba, it was a baby. it was never a bow wow, it was a dog. in talking to her (because she knows everything) she explained that as we got older she would use proper sentences, not the shorten baby ones. for instance, instead of saying "baby go bye bye" it was "would eleri like to say bye bye?" or "time to say goodbye" something that got the point across without dumbing it down.

*disclaimer: if you are offended because you like baby talk, or shorten sentences- sorry. to each their own. you can do whatever you want with you baby. everyone is different. you can say/do whatever you feel is best- no judgement here.*

since eleri was born, we spoke to her the same way that we would speak to anyone. and now, at 18 months the amount of words that she understands is incredible. not just big and small, but gigantic and tiny. not hot and cold, but freezing and boiling hot. you get the idea. any adjective or descriptive word that i would use she understands. and she is responsive to the pronoun use as well. as we are in the toddler stage now, i am glad that she can understand and respond to regular adult conversation. it just makes it easier for us.

i wish i could remember every little things she does. all the incredible faces she makes. all the little ways that she brightens up our lives. the past 18 months have been the most full months of my life. i wouldnt trade a second of it for anything. cliche, i know. but it is the truth. having a baby puts everything into perspective. the good, the bad, the joyous, the fearful- it all becomes more real with a child.

like yesterday. i thought i had lost eleri. we were at tesco (UK version of walmart) and e was helping me get some long sleeve white t-shirts for her. i looked down for literally 30 seconds and when i looked up, she was gone. the panic that instantly set in was intense. i left the stroller, purse and all, and ran up and down the isles shouting and frantically looking around. store people were helping, random shoppers were helping, but eleri was no where to be seen. after what seemed like hours, i got my phone out to call rhys- to explain that i had lost our daughter- when i heard a little giggle. the rack of t-shirts that we had been looking at was right next to the dressing room. e had run into the dressing room, slipped under a door and was hiding. she thought it was a game. i did not. all in all the ordeal lasted about 10 minutes. but it took about 10 years off of my life. the panic of losing a child, there are no words. i couldnt imagine if she was actually gone. yeah, fear becomes real when a litte one enters the picture.

eleri is crazy, but in such a good way. i never knew the toddler stage could be this much fun (and scary). we have yet to encounter any massive fits or real defiance yet- perhaps that is coming the closer we get to two- but for now i will enjoy my awesome baby and the laughs that we share everyday. being a mom is great.

and my 18 month old is incredible!

kafhkjafndskjfnkajdsdfja

2011-01-25T09:40:00.003Z

that is how i feel: bklafhidhnafidsfiadsnk

I am sick. Eleri is sick. Rhys is sick. blah.

I have a lot of things I want to write about. For example, eleri was 18 months old yesterday. or the 'fancy dress' (costume) party we went to a few weekends ago where ele was dressed as a spanish flamenco dancer. believe me when i say the pictures are awesome! I have moving thoughts, life thoughts and a post about a great friend. but whenever i try to make a coherent thought 'kajhfkjdbnafkjdhskjfa' comes out instead.

so this is it for me today. being sick is not cool. i could live without the vomit and runny noses. blech!

i will leave you all with this question: if you had the choice- and you can only choose between these two- would you live in Boston, MA or Fayetteville, AR? and why. we are facing some tough decisions so i thought i would throw it out to the blogging world. i need some help. input is appreciated.

weekend away....

2011-01-20T13:55:00.006Z

this weekend rhys and i are going away. all weekend!! woo hoo! we leave tomorrow afternoon for Coventry to visit some of rhys' friends from uni. 17 people in total, so it will be quite a full house and a busy weekend. i am really looking forward to some laughs and some adult time. (little e is staying with the grandparents.)

ah, no children and a pint without an early morning wake up call. nice. cause even parents need a break!

so i will leave you with these pictures of little e and her new favourite toys: happy land people and stacking blocks.

and this one too, because it is just too cute!

enjoy your weekends!

how do you hire a hit man?

2011-01-19T14:00:00.003Z

i am not a vengeful person. in fact, i am pretty forgiving. it takes a lot to get me really mad and even then i never stay mad for very long.

but today i am mad. and sad. and hurt. and nearly broken- at my wits end about this particular situation.

i don't want to share a huge amount of details. in fact, i don't want to share any. but i will say this......

please pray for me and my family.

my family are good people. the best. They are loving, generous, giving, compassionate, super intelligent, kind, funny and really just amazing. and at the moment they are being attacked. some not so nice people are trying to do some not very nice things. hence the hit man.

the human side of me wants to hire a hit man to give the nasty people exactly what they deserve. ok, so i don't really want to do that. but i do want to take the no so nice people by their shoulders, give them a good shake and say "what the hell are you doing? you are lying, you are being deceitful. you are wrong" but i doubt it would do any good. nasty people are like that, unfazed by the truth. worst part? the nasty people know they are wrong and doing it anyway.

again, the hit man comes into play.

i wish there was something i can do. but i am trusting God. He has a plan. He is in control. and whilst i don't understand everything, i do understand that those who seek to do evil will never triumph in the end.

but in the meantime, please pray. pray for God's protection, provision, wisdom, understanding, my family are awesome and deserve only the best. please pray that that is exactly what they get- the best.

mark one of the list

2011-01-17T15:02:00.007Z

(two posts in a day, crazy i know.)

one of the things that i wanted to do this year was get a new haricut- something different from the long and straight i have had my whole life. well...i say whole life. there was that one time in university when i decided to shave my head. i chickened out at the last minute but not before i had cut my elbow length hair to just above my ears. not a good look for me. at all. it is safe to say that with the 40 pounds i gained that year, my freshamn year of university was not my most attractive.

anyway.

i decided today was the day for a new look. so off i went.

here i am before (seriously, how long is that hair? crazy!)

and here is me after.

i cut 4 inches off the length and have 3 layers of layers. so quite a big change for me. but i kind of like it. its a bit different, but hey that is what 2011 is all about. a new, different year to 2010!!

two turn-tables and a microphone

2011-01-13T11:01:00.004Z

i recently came across THIS article about the recent, and future, advance in technology. just in case you dont follow the link read the piece for yourself (which i strongly encourage you to do) the basic premise is this: kids born in 2011 will have no idea what travel agents, video tapes (VHS), separation of work and home, books, magazines, newspapers, movie rental stores, watches, paper maps, wired phones, CD's, hand written letters, the yellow/white pages, long distance, dial up Internet, encyclopedias and so forth...

the list goes on and on mentioning quite a few things that i grew up using, things i still use today and a few things that i have not used in years. but the more i read, the sadder i felt. there is something nostalgic- romantic- about things of the past. to think that there is a chance eleri would not feel the excitement of receiving a letter in the post or experience the boring, mundane task of flipping through an encyclopedia for research. while the chances are strong that hand written letters will never truly 'go out of style' it is a real possibility that e will never use an encyclopedia. does this make anyone else sad? just me?

i remember the giant set of Encyclopedia Britannica that my parents had in our living room. I had to do a science project when i was a sophomore in high school and i used quite a few of those books for my research. that was in 1997. to me it doesn't seem that long ago but let me put it in a bit of perspective. when i was writing that science report, google did not exist! yeah, now it seems like a loooong time ago. how many times a day do we use google? apparently enough that 'googling' is a verb which is now common vernacular.

because i am a bit of a nerd e WILL know what an 8 track tape player is because i have one that still works. and a record player as well. and while i am discussing old technology that i still use, my dvd player is a dvd AND vhs tape player combo. yes, i still watch VHS tapes. i watched one about two weeks ago. perhaps that is what is really sad....

and what about the movie store? i dont remember the last time i went to a blockbuster. but when i was growing up we had family movie night. we would all go to the local blockbuster and pick out a movie to watch. i used to love walking up and down the isle, checking out everything that was there. the giant wall of 'new releases' was always the busiest. e will probably never step foot in a blockbuster, or the like. it is cheaper to buy a dvd at walmart than it used to be to rent a movie. i can understand why they are going out of business. but it is still a little disappointing.

it also makes me sad that people estimate 'words written on paper' will not longer exist in the near future. i love books. i love newspapers. i used to read the newspaper every single day when i was commuting to work. and on average i buy at least one book a week. i love to read. i love holding a book in my hands, turning the pages, highlighting quotes, making pages. you cant do that with a kindle, or iPad, or whatever the next bit of electronic reading they will come out with. and what about newspapers? the thought of those going by the waste side makes me a little sick. i had dreams of being a journalist when i was younger- working for the New York Times. i am not saying eleri will want to be a writer, but is that even a dream she could have? will newspapers even exist? realistically i think it would take quite a bit to get newspapers out of print. what about the commuters? or will technology advance so much that there will soon be internet access on the tube/subway and people will read the news on their ipad's?

sad. really sad.

whilst we are on the subject of sad, some of 'things' that will disappear are actually quite alarming. the line of home and work is blurred enough as it is. i realise we are not living in a traumatic post- WWII society like the 50's where people were fiercely protective of family and values. but was that so bad? people fight against the 9 to 5, not wanting the typical job. but look at it this way. you went to work. did your job. came home at 5 when the bell rang. and that was that. finished for the day. no emails on the blackberry or text messages to respond to. no 'face time' on the iPhone for a late night meeting. when the working professionals came home, they were home. and to me, that sounds nice. people say they work hard to play hard. but how many working professional do you know that really play hard? and with only 8 to 10 vacation days a year, can you really play hard? seems a bit skewed to me. and with technology increasing, can you imagine what work communication will be like when eleri has her first job?

another point the article highlights is that 'talking to one person at a time' will be a foreign concept to our little ones. how true is that? rhys and i had a discussion about this very point. he said that it was mainly teenagers who texted whilst they were talking to someone else. i agree, it does seem to be the younger population. but those are the people who are growing up to govern the next generation. if they feel it is ok to do that now, and continue to do so as they are older, will that behaviour become the new 'norm'? perhaps.

it is interesting to look back on the past 100 years or so and see what advances have been made. some have been incredible, life saving developments. some have been time saving. but some have been destructive. take a cultural history of the last 100 years and see what values, both family and moral, have slowly faded into the past. now ask yourself how much of that has to do with our advances in modern technology.

I have a risk of sounding hypocritical, as i type on my blog page using my nice laptop, but there is something to be said about the past- about the way things used to be done. i do not want to advocate living in the past. and by no means will i start following an amish lifestyle, turning my back on all technology and begin to commute only by horse and cart. i appreciate technology, but i also want to stay aware that there are some things we still need to hold on to. blockbusters may be going to the waste side, so perhaps family movie night means going to walmart, picking out a movie and buying it instead of renting it. same price, why not eh? i want to teach eleri the value of relationships, of correspondence. so that when she is older, she will appreciate the time it takes to write a letter, so she will not take for granted face to face meetings, so she can be fully present in whatever situations she is in. (not texting away...)

and yes, i will continue to listen to my CD's when i drive the car, but i will also share my love of old music and record players with my kids. my beatle albums need some play too! i am lucky that rhys feels the same way. as he DJ's (occasionally) he has record player turn-tables. (imagine will smith in fresh prince: one hand on the headphone, one hand skipping the record and that is rhys.... ) i like that we will keep little pieces of the past as current in our home. it may be nostalgic, but i hope that i can raise my children to appreciate all aspects of life. past, present and what is yet to come.

boo sunday dinner

2011-01-09T13:17:00.005Z

warning: this is a superficial, materialist post. if you do not like those sort of things then what you should do is stop reading now. what you should not do is keep reading and then send me an email about how children are dying in africa and i should be grateful for my life.

today on the way home from church i burst into tears. at first a few rolled quietly down my cheeks. then a few more in quick succession. soon they were coming at waterfall speed and there was nothing i could do to stop it. and it all started because i didnt want to eat 'sunday dinner'

we dont so 'sunday roast dinner' in america the way they do in Britain. it is more or less a thanksgiving meal every sunday. every. single. sunday. big roast beef/chicken/lamb, several different types of potatoes, veggies, bread, and loads of thick, brown gravy. and while this will come as a shock to practically every british person i know, i do not like sunday dinner. i just dont. i want olive garden on a sunday. all you can eat soup and salad. or a nice trip to On the Border. heck, even home made fajitas would be fantastic. but not another dinner. However, everyone in the williams household loves sunday dinner (rhys especially) and my mother-in-law slaves away in the kitchen all morning and afternoon making the trimmings. enough for two days. so sunday dinner becomes monday dinner. i am starting to tear up just thinking about it. (seriously, its pathetic, i know)

the root of the issue is not actually the fact that i dont like sunday dinner. what the problem is, is that i want to come home to my house. a house where only rhys, eleri and i live. a house where is there no sunday dinner brewing away on the stove. i want my own space. i want my own groceries and i want to plan out my own meals. this is where the "be grateful you have a nice house to live in and someone who wants to cook the majority of your meals for you. why are you even complaining" bit comes in. and i know all of those things. i AM grateful to have a wonderful house to live in and 4 other lovely people to fill the rooms with laughter and conversation. but i am ready for my own home. after 7 months i feel as though i am reaching the end of my rope.

the snow has finally melted now and the sun has been out the last few days. the temperature has risen above freezing and we have ventured out on some walks. my new favourite thing to do is to look at the houses and imagine what is going on inside. if the blinds are open, i glace inside and look at the decorations. not in a creepy peeping tom kind of way, but in a 'i am only walking by' quick glance kind of way. and i dream of their life. then i dream of my future. what will my house be like, how will i decorate, where will it be. and then i get sad, fighting off tears because i know that in a few more steps i will be back at my in-laws house. it is a great house. but it is not mine. 7 people under one roof makes for a lot of chaos.

sometimes i look at friends facebook pictures of read their blogs and instead of coming away excited for their child's birthday or pleased at their new couch, i feel inadequate those are not things that i can do for my kid, or provide for my family. it is torturing myself really. it is even worse when i read the blogs of people i dont know. and i compare my life to theirs (gasp, i know, how awful) but it is awful. i will be 29 this year. there is no stretch of the immagination that will allow me to say i am in my early twenties. i am almost 30. and still struggling with comparing myself to others. i suck.

when i realistically step back and evaluate my life there is not a lot i can complain about. especially in the 4 years i have been married. living in the second most expensive city in the world has inhibited me from having my own house, a yard, space, furniture, a closet, extra toys/clothes and even a place to host my kids birthday parties but it has enabled me to travel with extreme ease. the adventures we have been on, even just around london, have been incredible. i have a lot to be thankful for. a lot.

but today for some reason i can not see any of those things through my tears. i am acutely aware instead of what i am lacking. not love, or belonging, or family. not food and shelter. everything i feel like i am missing out on is material. fleeting. superficial. but i still feel like i am missing out somehow. and today it is making me sad. i know that tomorrow will be better. i know there is a lot to look forward to. heck, in 4 weeks i am going to rome. for a week. uhhh....remind me again why i am crying?

life is funny sometimes. small things become big things. our perspective can so easily be skewed even by the most foolish of things. and i can logically realise that what i am typing is so inconsequential that it is probably not even worth the time it is taking me to type (good thing i type fast!) but it is how i am feeling. and 2011 is a year of honesty in everything. even the blog.

so i can cry about sunday dinner if i want to!

and just for you sarah and stef. but a word of warning. it is pretty gross.

only 4 left

2011-01-07T23:51:00.002Z

'only 4 left' could mean any number of things.

only 4 months left until i leave the UK

only 4 months until i turn 29

only 4 more teeth until eleri has a mouth full

only 4 more days until i get my new pillow sewing pattern (i know, excitement abounds)

but in this case, the sentence 'only 4 left' refers to my toenails. yes. toenails.

i started november with 10. then i decided to run 78 miles. apparently my toes do not like the repetitive tap against the top of my shoe, mile after mile after mile after mile. first my big toe started to turn colours. but then my pinkie toenail suddenly fell off. then my middle toenail. then the one next to it. on both feet. at the moment i have lost 3 completely, 2 are hanging on with only about 1/3 of a blackish-green bit left and my big toe- the original one to start looking bad- is half gone. the half still sticking around will pull up to reveal a pretty gross underneath. and that leaves 4. nice.

so there you go. i only have four left. something to think about if you want to run lots of miles and then wear sandals. i am pretty darn glad it is not the season for flip flops.

out of the jim jams...

2011-01-06T11:05:00.002Z

and straight into my running shoes. my poor shoes have been sitting in a dark, lonely corner of the garage for the past 8 weeks. covered in dry, crusty mud the poor shoes have not so much as seen the light of day. last night i pulled them out, did my best to dust them off and hit the ground running.

ok, it was more of a jog. and by jog i mean fast walk. so really it was a regular walk but i moved my arms really quickly so that counts as a fast walk. sad how much fitness one can lose in 8 weeks of no exercise. in my case, it appears as though i have lost every last ounce of any fitness that i had. i went from running a 10K in an average of 50 minutes to running 1K in 10 minutes. that is sad. SAD!

granted i had a major injury and i need to take it slow to fully recover. but i want to jump straight back in to 8 miles a day. obviously that is not going to happen. i am however taking my 'running' seriously again. there is a half marathon in march that i want to run. depending on how the next two weeks of the 'working back into running' training regime i am starting, i may sign myself up!

we shall see. but my mornings and evenings will no longer be spent lounging around in my jim jams. i am back to the running clothes. the running shoes will take back their place of prominence and no longer be stuck in a manky garage. here's to a new year of my running; lets hope i can pick up the pace a bit....

the core.

2011-01-04T14:28:00.003Z

December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?

last reverb post of the year. i am glad that i decided to 'reverb' last month. it was an interesting way to reflect on the year. i tend to be a fairly reflective person anyway, but it was nice to have specific questions to answer and topics to discuss. with that said, i give you the last reverb post.

the core story of me is jesus. without i am nothing, can do nothing and have nothing. He has given me life and is the reason that i live. He is in control and has a plan. i daily choose to live in that plan. he governs my footsteps and i do my best to follow wherever He leads.

i should be actively sharing that faith in everything that i do. but i dont. i fall short more than i would like to admit. some times the Gospel pours out me. sometimes i intentionally dont speak.

but my goal is to be so focused on jesus, and living for Him, that He flows out of all my words and actions.

and that is the core story of kristina.

thank God it's 2011

2011-01-01T12:09:00.007Z

seriously. i am thanking the Lord almighty that it is 2011. i have high hopes riding on this year, i am expecting big things. when it was getting close to midnight last night, i was all smiles just waiting to say adios to 2010 and hello! hello! to 2011. i feel better about life already and it has only been the new year for about 12 hours.

as we have had a busy holiday season, i am running a bit behind on my blogging. i still have not done a christmas post, put up any pictures, written an eleri update or finished the last reverb post. but as this is the first day of the new year, i am bypassing all of those things to list my goals/dreams/plans/hopes and aspirations for 2011. i am foregoing the typical 'resolutions' and instead making goals for the year. some are more sweeping and far reaching and some are small and fairly silly. but nonetheless, here is my 2011 life list.

2011 life list
-floss everyday
-collect at least one piece of fabric every month to make my quilt
-doing absolutely everything within my power to be calm, pleasant and peaceful when rhys comes home from work (read: dont immediately word vomit on him the minute he enters the house)
-continue with my current face/skin routine
-drink 64 oz. of water a day
-spend time praying/researching and figure out what i really want to do
-after the above goal is achieved, get a job that i actually enjoy and that i am good at
-research ways to continue with green lifestyle in the US
-run/exercise 4 times a week.
-try something new everyday
-email 'connections' in NWA to get help/ideas/support for our upcoming move
-lose the 10lbs i have gained since November by 9 February. no crash diets- healthy eating and exercise.
-count to 10 before speaking. or 15 before word vomiting on someone
-run the oklahoma city memorial marathon (or half...depending on injury recovery)
-start a tradition with our family for every month. something we do the 3 of us every year in the same month. for example, in april we could go to a zoo. so every april we go to a zoo as a family.
-try a new hair style this year. something other than the long hair/side bangs that i have had basically since i was 12.
-limit my t.v. watching to 2 hours a day. that includes my BBC morning news, baby video time and scrub re-runs etc...
-write someone a letter once a week.
-teach eleri scripture. i want to daily commit to helping the little one memorize scripture.
-budget. and actually stick to it.
-on the back of that, save at least £1000 for eleri in 2011
-take 20 minutes for myself every morning. first thing. just me, my writing, my thoughts and my cup of green tea
-work at becoming as close to debt free as i can.
-paint my nails a crazy, off the wall, never before used colour
-teach eleri something new every week/do something new with eleri every week
-wear a sequined shirt for something
-buy a pair of jeans from top shop before i leave europe
-tell rhys just how much he means to me everyday
-dance with eleri everyday
-practice effective time management
-take a picture once a day of something special
-start family devotions

that is my list as of 1 January 2011. I was debating about whether or not i would allow myself to add things to the list or not after i published it. as i type this out, i have decided that no, i wont add anything. this is it the 2011 life list in its entirety. i have been working on a 'complete life list' and i can always add/take away from that list. but these are my goal/ambitions for 2011.

good bye 2010, hello 2011. its going to be a damn good year.

and the honour goes to......

2011-01-01T11:40:00.002Z

Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

rhys

i know that saying my husband as the answer is a bit cheesy but it is the truth. there is no other gift, tangible or otherwise, that has touched me so much this year as the unconditional love of my husband. and believe me the unconditional part of that love has really been tested this year.

to say that i have been difficult is putting it mildly. granted it has been a tough year, but that in no way excuses some of my actions. i have been unpleasant, grumpy and often times mean. unfortunately most of that gets directed at rhys when he is in fact the one person who has done nothing wrong.

this year has been full of change. i cant even count the number of posts i have written regarding our changing circumstances. dont worry, i am not about to go into the details yet again. and in the midst of what seems to be constant upheaval, rhys has remained a steady pillar of peace, support and love. he is tremendous. he has been my strength when i didnt feel capable enough to stand on my own. he has been my voice when i was too weak (and meek) to speak. he has been a constant faithful warrior- defending, protecting and providing for our little family.

often times it has seemed as though we were on a roller coaster; up, down and being thrown from side to side. but whatever came our way rhys always managed to handle it with grace and composure. i one the other hand, handled everything badly. think screaming banshee crossed with the hormones of a pregnant lady and then throw in a mental patient- time 5- and you are starting to get the idea. and even with my insane emotions rhys always listened, always cared and never got upset or frustrated with my crazed rantings. the patience he has shown this year has been incredible.

i realise that i just made it seem like i have been one big ball of insane this year. and while i will look back on 2010 and remember quite a few of my crazy moments, i will also remember some amazing ones as well. this year has taught me a lot about the principle of thinking before I speak, weighing my words carefully and not letting the opinions of others govern my actions. and i have my wonderful husband to thank for all of that.

the stability and support he has provided to our little family this year is unmatched. moreover, he has truly proven that he meant was he said on our wedding day. he has cherished, honoured and love me unconditionally through one of the hardest times of my life. he is more than a great father and a great husband. he is the most incredible man i know. the greatest gift i could have been given. ever.

the big move across the sea

2010-12-31T15:10:00.002Z

second post of the day.....i really should have kept more on top of this reverb-ing. but even though today is the last day of 2010, i will continue the reverb posts until i have finished all of them....

Defining Moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

in late march of 2010 rhys and i made the decision to move to America. that one decision set in motion a series of events over the past 9 months that have changed the way i view life, marriage, motherhood, myself and family. aside from the life changing decision of saying yes when rhys proposed, i do not think that there has been any other choice, or event, that has changed my life as much as that decision in late march.

i am not opposed to sharing all the gory details of the 'series of events' that decision has created. i am more than willing to discuss the ups and downs of trying to immigrate overseas. (yes, i said immigrate. yes, i realise i am an america so technically i cant immigrate to the states...yadda yadda yadda.) but to dive into all the details would require hours and hours of writing and lets be honest, who is actually going to read pages and pages of intimate details about my life?

so i will leave it at this- a list. because i love lists and they are easy to read.

the decision in late march 2010 to move to america had the following repercussions:

-leaving the only place i have ever been a wife
-leaving the only place i have ever been a mother
-leaving the place of my daughters birth
-leaving behind the most amazing community i have ever been a part of
-walking into the unknown in terms of friends, jobs, living arrangements and well, basically everything
-having to balance green living with life in middle america (basing this on what it was like when i lived there 4 years ago)
-losing the benefits of a mildly socialist government. things like mandatory year paid maternity leave, mandatory 5 weeks holiday a year. mandatory bank holidays where everyone is off. government benefits and payouts for having a baby, being healthy, etc... i could go on and on.
-leaving baby mamas
-losing my independence in more ways than one
-leaving london
-moving to wales
-living with the in-laws
-parenting in 'interesting' circumstances
-living completely out of my control- by others rules.
-created fear of how to live life in my home country
-fear of what it will be like to mother, be a wife etc...
-created stronger faith than i even knew possible
-created a sense of family that is unbreakable

i could go on, but the premise is that since deciding to move to america, our life has been a whirlwind of one life changing moment after another. some have been wonderful. some have been difficult, but necessary and some i could do without. but regardless, no single thing, 2010 or otherwise, has been more defining than the decision to move to america.

and here we are 9 months later and still waiting to go....

a home of my very own!

2010-12-31T11:18:00.004Z

Achieve What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

my OWN space.

can that be a thing? can i want to achieve that? i have put off reverb-ing for a while now in the hope of coming up with something else, anything else, that i want to achieve in 2011. I can think of other things- ultra marathon fitness, quilt making abilities, painting skills, etc... but nothing can even come close to competing with the desire, nay necessity, of my own space.

ideally that would mean owning a house when we move. i am a bit skeptical on that because the cards seemed pretty stacked against us. as of now we have no jobs (in the states) no bank accounts, no credit history- good or bad-no furniture, no household goods, and on top of that we have the added expense of moving a family overseas. we do have a good deposit, but will that be enough? not sure. but even if we can not buy a house straight away, my own space could mean rented accommodation that consists of just me, rhys and eleri. i loved living with leah for 5 months. i liked sharing our friends houses for a month when we were leaving london and it was good (and tough) living with the in-laws for a grand total of 9.5 months. but i am done. done with sharing bathrooms and kitchens. done with sharing the tele and the refrigerator. i am done with sharing a home. done. (and just in case the point was not made clearly enough- i am done. done. done. done!!) i want my own space.

i try to not let myself think about how awesome it will be to live just as a family of 3. i am afraid if i dwell too long on it that i will end up even more frustrated with our current situation. dont get me wrong, we are truly blessed to live in a wonderful home, with kind and caring in-laws. but it is not our home. and i have reached the stage in my life when i no longer want to live with parents. i am a parent myself. and i want my own home.

i have even started collecting pictures for my future home. pictures of kitchens, living rooms, furniture....all kinds of things that i want to incorporate into my own house. realistically i am sure it will be a while before i can have a kitchen that looks like this

and my living room wont look quite like this when i first move to america

but i am ready for my own space whatever it looks like. in fact, i am desperately longing for my flat in london. (ok so that is not entirely true. 380 sq feet was a bit too tiny for a family of 3) but the fact that it was ours, just the 3 of us, was glorious. and that is what i am aspiring to for 2011. my own space.

what feelings will my own space give me? peace and freedom. my own space will be peaceful. not say that there will never be an argument in the house. or that everything will always be 100% smooth sailing. but my home will be governed by my rules (or lack there of) there will a sense of openness -freedom- to be who i want to be, to live how i want to live, to mother how i want to mother...without questions, comments, or concerns. my own space will give me independence. to me that feeling is priceless. i am sure i could write a long list of adjectives describing how my own house would make me feel, but i will leave it at that. peace, freedom and independence.

the second half of the reverb prompt asks what 10 things i can do/think that will enable me to have the feelings described above. hmmm....i could take and pass my british drivers test which would provide me with the freedom to leave the house whenever i choose. but other than that, i am not sure. i dont think that given our circumstances, i can make myself free peace and freedom with 10 thoughts or actions. that is ok for the moment because there are many positives about our current situation. and i have learned a lot through a dependent lifestyle. but ah, the day when i have my own house..... stroll on 2011!