in the land......

that sentence has many endings. however two endings in particular are standing out to me at the moment. "in the land...where people say excuse me" and "in the land...of good food."

for some reason people always associate brits with great manners. i can not speak for the entirety of the UK, but people in London are not really polite. well perhaps the queen is polite, but she is not your everyday, average joe on the street. those people are more than happy to run you over and never look back. i was surprised at how quickly i forgot that in some places people say hello and wave for no reason; even if you are a complete stranger. i am so used to people reading as they commute, walking as fast as they can to their next destination and having no superfluous conversation that i forgot it even exists. and then i came back to oklahoma. people say excuse me when the bump into you. they stop and let you pass if two of you happen upon a junction at the same time. people randomly start conversations with you in stores, at cash registers. its crazy. people are so friendly. and i didnt realise just how much i missed that until this week. its so lovely to say hello and smile at complete strangers. and i cant get enough of the "excuse me" Sure brits can queue like there is no tomorrow. make no mistake about it, if something has a wait, there will be a quiet, orderly and tidy queue. but, in london at least, a queue is where the manners stop. and to be honest, i am really loving the friendly down home feeling that middle america has. i just cant get enough.

but its not just the manners that has acted like a comfort blanket for me the past week. its the food too. and it has been amazing. so much for my diet and the last 10 pounds of pregnancy weight. i miss my american food SO MUCH in the UK. and now that i am here, i just want to eat whatever i want. so far i have had real mexican, a party taco from taco bueno (not quite as authentic but just as yummy), chick-fil-a, sonic, real ice tea, panera (oh how i miss the bacon turkey bravo) colby jack cheese and more gold fish than i can count. oh, and of course thanksgiving food. i am still looking forward to some fantastic dishes my mom makes like sloppy joes and her chicken casserole, plus los cabos, cheddars, bbq and of course, many more trips to chick-fil-a.

ah, its good to be back.

stuck in the middle

the post about the flight is coming. promise. but something else is consuming my thoughts. health care. i know, i know, i just wrote about health care. talk about beating a dead horse. but a situation arose today that really caused me to question everything.

as you all know, i have never been a huge fan of nationalised health care. i think it sucks. but i also think its about time i pointed out some of the strong points of the system i live under in the UK.

the main one being that is free.

i dont pay to see a doctor. ever. the NHS has a flat rate of 7 pounds for prescriptions. and well, everything else?...its free. i didnt pay a dime when i had eleri. we just walked in and out of the hospital; no insurance card, no paperwork, nothing. ok, sure we had to stay on a ward with lots of other people. and bring our own blankets...and pillows...and sheets. and yeah, the bed was all metal, with a metal headboard and it was built in 1950. and ok, no air conditioning. but it was free. according to the american association of pediatrics, the average cost of having a child in 2008 was $3475. that cost was what people had to pay in addition to the costs covered by their insurance companies. ok, so those americans didnt have to bring in their own sheets and pillows; and they probably had a nice padded bed that could be adjusted. but they had to pay. and i didnt.

and whenever i have to go to the pharmacy. its only 7 pounds. no wondering how much it will be and if my insurance company will cover that particular prescription. its a flat rate.

my cancer removal/treatment? free

rhys' x-rays for rugby injuries? free

doctor visits? free

and that is nice. i realise the flip side to that is the HUGE waiting time to see a doctor or a specialist. the way the NHS judges procedure on a cost basis, refusing treatment if they feel it is too expensive. and that is not ideal either. but you know what really sucks? being in america without insurance. it sucks even more than i remembered.

a few days before we left for america, eleri seemed to get a bit of a cold. but that happens in the winter time, plus some of her little friends had colds and we had been around them recently. so no big deal. since we were flying for so long, i figured i would take her to the doctor and see what he said. i assumed he would say it was just a cold. and i was right. his exact words were "she has a cold. it happens. enjoy your flight" fair enough. on we went.

its now been a week and she has the same cough that she did before we left. and since my mother HATES nationalised medicine even more than i do, she really wanted eleri to see an american doctor. so we went to the doctor today. and the american doctor said that she had a chest infection, probably asthma, and needed a breathing treatment. she did one in the office and then gave me 3 different prescriptions. i was told to give her the antibiotics for 5 days so she doesnt get pneumonia, do one type of medicine in a breathing treatment 4 times a day, another type of medicine 2 times a day and come back for a chest x-ray in a week if she is still coughing. wow. know how much that visit cost me without insurance? $437. and that doesnt even cover the prescriptions. just one of the prescriptions she gave me is $207. and i have 3 to fill.

there was no change in eleri in the week that passed. but those are two VERY different diagnosis. one was free. and one cost me nearly $500.

so i am stuck in the middle.

i dont think the NHS does enough. but does american health care do too much? is that too extreme? before you all go thinking that i am bad mother, i filled the prescriptions and i will give eleri the medicine, but i am still questioning the necessity of it all. there has got to be a middle ground. there has got to be a system that checks people out thoroughly, doesnt over medicate and doesnt charge so damn much. because as it is, i cant afford it.

the american health care system leaves people like me out. i cant afford those kinds of bills. its just too much. i buy a lottery ticket every week hoping to cash in on my share of the millions of pounds up for grabs, but until i win, i am poor. too poor to be paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars in medical bills just to see a doctor. something in me says seeing a doctor is a basic human right. am i starting to sound a bit like a socialist? perhaps. but the system has some major flaws.

unfortunately, so does the UK system. which leaves me in the middle. i am not a fan of having to wait over 3 months to see a specialist for eleri. i want her to be seen straight away. but when i see said specialist, it wont cost me a penny. but it may be to late to correct her problem. flip to america, and i got to see a doctor straight away who took immediate action. but i cant afford to pay the bill as a result. i really am stuck. people need to be taken care of. but they need to be done so in a way that is affordable. i dont have the solution. i am not sure that it is nationalised health care. i have lived in that system and it lets people down. but i am not sure that private insurance is the way to go either. i have lived in that system. and it lets people down too.

so for now i will stay stuck in the middle; forced to live in the pros and cons of both systems.

im here. finally.

hello america. we have arrived. after 20 hours of travelling, man! i am SO glad to be on solid ground. I will have a post shortly about the plane journey of me and the 4 month old, but for now i will leave you all with some some great quotes from the trip so far.

"well thats a Gerber baby if i have ever seen one!" flight attendant on the plane


"i was holding your baby and then the flight attendant came and FORCEFULLY took her out of my hands because she wanted to hold her instead. bitch." from the woman across the isle who held eleri when i went to the bathroom. people were literally fighting over her.


conversation between me and a woman in the customs line when we landed in chicago

woman: "oh what a cute baby. what is her name?"

me: "eleri"

woman: "LARRY?! i thought it was a girl!"



"wow what big eyes! i think she might be the cutest baby i have ever seen. probably even cuter than my own baby" woman in chicago.


conversation between me and mikey, my 6 year old nephew.

mikey: "i just drew a picture of eleri with a mustache"

me: "what? eleri doesnt have a mustache!"

mikey: "no, not yet. but she may grow up to have one. you just never know."


so far its been good. and as tomorrow is thanksgiving, i imgaine the trip will only get better.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

tuesday is coming fast

i leave on tuesday. i will be gone from my house for 42 days. that is a long time to have to pack for, especially when that invloves packing for a little one. and i really havent even started yet. good plan kristina, good plan.

but what is really making me nervous is the day of travel. here is what is looks like

6.30am: arrive heathrow

9.00am: plane leaves heathrow

9 hours later.....land chicago

customs, baggage re-check, terminal change

4 hours later.....leave chicago

6.30pm: land tulsa

plus throw in a crazy 6 hour time change and there is my day. the long haul flights are bad enough when its just me. and i can read, watch movies or sleep.

there will be no sleeping or watching movies this time around. just me and little ele. and its kind of freaking me out.

not the fact that i will have my daughter all day, because we do that all time. its the having to occupy a 4 month old on a plane. and what about the air pressure? what if it bothers her little ears? and what about sleeping and diaper changes, and toys, and breast feeding? so many questions. and instead of dealing with them in a calm, cool and collected way....well, i am kind of freaking out. maybe once i start packing and get some things out of the way, i will feel better.

but until then, i need some help. any suggestions? any tips on flying with a little one? even if you dont have kids, but you have a good idea, throw it at me. i am accepting all the help i can get!!

oh, and eleri's british passport just came in the post today! woo hoo!! she has both her passports now; we really are all ready to go!

it's all make believe

sometimes that is how i feel. like the country i live in is really some giant fairy tale land with kings and queens and funny accents. in reality, its just Britain. but sometimes the pomp and circumstance of it all causes my breath to catch in my throat and i think "really? such a place actually exists?" and it makes me smile. because as a little girl i read story after story of the princess, the dragon, the queen, the carriage taking the fair maiden to the ball. but the book always came to an end and then it was back to real life. but every so often, that fairy land of my childhood becomes a reality here in the UK.

and today was one of those days.

today the queen gave her annual speech at parliament. this is how she arrived.





and this is what she wore





but sometimes it feels like a fairy tale land for other reasons. something else happened today. far from fancy carriages and sparkly jewels, there was a more sinister side to the day. There was a shooting on old kent road. my husbands current project is on old kent road. not only was i worried for his safety, but when it came time for him to come home, all the buses were cancelled due to the gunman lose on the streets. When he finally made it to euston station to catch a train home, he saw a sign quite similar to this.



this particular sign was from my commuting days, but the situation was the same. a man jumped in front of the train and was caught under the carriage. I will never forget the first time this happened on my commute. 5 November 2007. I walked into the station and saw hundreds of people just milling around, looking annoyed. I asked someone what was going on and they said, and i quote "another damn jumper. couldnt have waited until after rush hour" how inconvenient of the poor, depressed soul. it actually happens quite a lot. about 2 or 3 a month. sometimes i cant believe that is real.

so he finally made it home. we put our daughter to bed and ate dinner. and i kept thinking about the dichotomy of today. a make believe, fairy tale of fancy dresses, horse drawn carriages and priceless jewels right along side the darkest and most depressing aspects of human nature.

to end on a happier note, this was another sighting. check out all those buses!!



crazy fairy tale land....

some thoughts on the "public option"

with all that has been happening in america recently, i have had many discussions with my fellow americans regarding health care and obama's plans to "revitalize" the system. Because i live here, in the UK, and we have nationalised health care, people have been asking me lots of questions. and offering their opinions. most of those opinions are based on exactly that, opinion. since the american system basically offers you two choices, private insurance or no insurance, most people have never had the privilege of dealing with a nationalised system. or public option as obama is choosing to call it.

and the general consensus of most americans that i speak with is that the plan is a good one. it will benefit the poor, help those with little to no insurance, and on a whole wont really change the system. because what could be bad about health care that is free right? hmmm...

i recently had one friend point out that the new plan will predominately help those who really cant afford health care. he ended his argument by pointing out that we have never really been poor and in america. true. i have never really been poor. i have been a struggling college and grad student, working 40 plus hours to try and make ends meet. i have been a struggling new graduate, working a crap teaching job that didnt even pay enough to cover rent and bills. but i have been all of that as a single person, no husband, no family. so my friend was right in a sense that i have never really been poor and needed health care. but i have been without insurance and needed medical attention. oh boy, that was a challenge.

during graduate school and my first year out, i did not have medical insurance. i couldn't really afford it. but i did get sick in those 3 years. and i had huge amounts out of pocket to see a doctor and get prescriptions. and the care i received was different. the clinics i had to go to were not as nice, not as well staffed and well, pretty much you could tell that i was at a place that would see people on a cash only basis. its hard to be in america without insurance.

but hear me on this. i would take america with no health insurance over government run health care any day. there is no choice. because even though the care wasnt the same as if i had had health insurance, and even though the clinic may not have been as nice, i was still seen in a timely and efficient manner. the problem was address quickly and effectively.

timely and efficient are words that seem to evaporate over here. because health care is government run, everything is worked out on a cost/time/effort basis. will the procedure be lengthy and time consuming? if the answer is yes, then dont expect it to happen. doctors (GP's as we call them over here) are paid based on how many people they see in a day. when you have an appointment you are given 10 minutes. well 10 minutes at my doctors office. its less elsewhere. but when you allotted time limit is up, you have to go. my sister in law was actually told, and i quote, "your 5 minutes are up. if you have more questions you will have to make another appointment." she did have more questions. she had only briefly discussed her problem and had a questions about her daughter. she had to make another appointment.

and before you think "yeah, thats just an isolated incident. doesnt happen all the time" think again. if something is not cheap, quick and easy then its more than likely they wont do it. sometimes you get a doctor who is willing to take the time to actually talk to you and investigate, but those are few and far between. and the really disheartening thing is that even when you get a doctor who is willing to help, to really investigate, you still have to fight with the NHS system as a whole.

take my daughter for example. There is potential that due to the difficulty in labour and delivery, eleri may have some nerve damage in her right arm and hand. we went to the doctor to get it checked out. he agreed that there was potential she has some weakness and sent her to the hospital paediatrician/neurologist to check it out. we went into the GP on the 6th of November. The FIRST appointment available at the hospital is the 20th of January. that is almost an entire 3 MONTHS after i would have had the first doctors appointment. 3 MONTHS. but i cant do a single thing about it. the doctor mentioned that catching nerve damage within the first 5 months means that there is a big chance the problem can be corrected. by the time we get our appointment that 5 month window will be gone. She will be 6 months old already.

and there is not a single thing i can do about it. i just have to wait. but hey, at least its free right?

and what could possibly be wrong with free health care?!

the problem is that you pay for what you get. if you pay nothing, then that is what you can expect to get. nothing. and as a new mother who wants the absolute best for her daughter, nothing is just not good enough. waiting 3 months to see a doctor is not good enough. and what can i do about it? nothing. sucks.

i could pay to go private in the UK, but the cost is astronomical. essentially there are two choices in this country as well, government run health care at a sub par level or pay out huge amounts of money for private care. not too be a downer, but i foresee this as the way it will end up in the states. people keep saying that the public option really wont affect the system as it is now. but i dont buy it. at all. i have experienced government run health care. and it sucks. i can only imagine what americans will think of it.

to be fair, i will say that not every experience i have had with the NHS has been negative. when i went in to the doctor in the summer and was diagnosed with skin cancer, i had a fantastic NHS doctor. she was brilliant. quick, efficient, and free. so in that instance the government run and paid for health care was perfect. but there have been more times than i can count that have been awful.

so forgive me, fellow americans, if i can not jump on board 100% with obama's plan of government run health care. I do agree that something needs to happen to change americas system. it does not work for every one. i do understand that. but i do not think that health care run and paid for by the government is the right answer. i know that the NHS is a more extreme version of what obama wants. i realise there are many differences between what i have described and what obama wants to implement. but the basic principle is the same.

and in my opinion the outcome is the same. government run health care sucks.

its official

finally. its official. 100% for sure. we are coming to america.

I have my passport.

eleri has her passport. (well, one of them anyways.)

we are coming to america in less than a week!