23 May 2009

never again, EVER

my mom left this afternoon and i cried. a lot. it was really sad to see her go, even though in 6 weeks she will be back again for little eleri's birth. but still, i love my mom. and i was sad. really sad. until rhys mentioned this one little fact.

never, ever again, aside from these six weeks will we live just the two of us. EVER. (well for at least the next 20 years or so) EVER!!

how crazy is that!? really crazy is the correct answer. Really, super, crazy insane...and wonderful all at the same time because it means that soon, VERY soon, rhys and i will have our little girl. and that is so amazing that it makes me smile just thinking about it. Of course it also means that we need to get moving and actually purchase a baby bed and a stroller.... but hey, what can you do?..

oh, and as an update, i got the results back from the massive leg chunk removal. clear. no more cancer cells, which means the doctors dont think it has spread. now just monthly check ups for the next 3 years...but hey, i will take that any day over what the other option was. so woo hoo!!

11 May 2009

my mom is coming tomorrow!!

Thursday marks the day that I am officially 30 weeks pregnant. So here we are, nearly there. granted i could wait a few days and actually write the 30 week post on the day that i am actually 30 weeks but its more fun this way right? Plus Thursday also marks the day that I am going in for another operation to remove what can only be described as a huge chunk of my leg. the doctor actually used the word 'chunk' so clearly that is the appropriate medical term for said procedure. i will be immobile for 2 weeks from Thursday on, plus my mom is coming over to take care of me, so i cant imagine a 30 week post on the actual day. hence today instead.

Lots of thoughts are going through my mind. we still don’t have a baby bed, a dresser or something of the like in which to store baby clothes, bottles, a steriliser, wipes, any baby cleaning and washing products, oh and a stroller. so really a lot left to get ready and only 10 weeks to do it. I am getting really excited about everything though. I cant wait until I get to hold my little baby. I. CANT. WAIT. I am so excited in fact that I impulsively booked a 4D scan for tonight. I always said I wouldn’t give into the hype and pay out loads of cash just to see little pictures in a different dimension. i am now more than happily eating my own words. i am so excited to see the little bean move around. and (how cheesy is this) i get a fridge magnet with a picture on it, in addition to CD's and other pictures of course. yup, i am cool. apparently I am already becoming the embarrassing mom who has loads of awkward pictures up everywhere. There is an option for a DVD as well. you can bring in your own music for the background. Rhys and I are still undecided on this option, although we have discussed possible music choices as 'Sweet Child of Mine' by Guns and Roses, and perhaps 'Back in Black' by AC/DC for the black and white park of the scan. just some thoughts...

some other thoughts are, again, focused on Thursday. man, i thought the first round of stitches was pretty rough. i think this one will be a little worse. and i hesitate to say anything because there are loads of people out there with far worse situations than mine, but all the same, it is happening and i am thinking about it. results came back from the first bit of tissue that they removed and it all came back as cancerous. But because all the cells were infected, they cant be sure if and how much the cancer cells have spread. hence the need for a real operation to actually cut out loads of tissue etc...Plus because i am growing a human inside of my stomach, the doctors are having a hard time feeling if my organs are swollen or not. again, reiterating the need for a follow up operation. really i wont know a whole lot until Thursday...so until then i am making jokes about. rhys does not really find these humorous, but gotta do something to stay positive right? But really, i don’t want to dwell on the possibility that something could actually be wrong because that would give that idea real validity. and that is not necessary. clearly everything will be fine. me and, most importantly, my little baby will be fine. because i think i would curl up and die if something happened to the little bean.

I am also thinking that this weekend we had beautiful weather, and yesterday was gorgeous. but the rest of the week is suppose to be rainy and crap. just like today’s weather. rainy and crap. i am so not looking forward to that. just when i think we have finally stepped over the ledge and are falling into beautiful spring/summer time, the weather decides to jump right back into rainy winter. boo.

I was reading on a dear friends blog about her seasons in Russia. She described how excited she was when spring first started to appear after so many months of winter darkness. I truly understand that. its hard living in a place that gets dark at 345 in the afternoon during the long and dreadful winter season. and it is even more glorious when the spring first glow starts to creep in, with the light lingering until 9 or later. often until well after 10 in the heat of the summer. but, alas...i think i still have a bit more left of the cold and rainy before the warm and sunny.

and one final thought... i hate traffic. Whilst i could try and paint a picture with words of the hideousness that is traffic on the M25, i will instead add some pictures.

This was my drive home yesterday. it was not fun. it took HOURS!! literally. hours.

but it wasnt just my side...this is the other side of the road, as we both just sat and sat and sat. not moving. at all.

these are the motor way signs. the flashing lights below the fixed signs are lit up when traffic is heavy and a new speed limit is in place. normally its 70. As the flashing sign illuminates, the limit has been dropped to 50 due to congestion. I sat under this sign for 37 minutes. in this exact spot, not moving an inch, for 37 minutes. i timed it. so what the sign really should flash is a big fat 0. because when you see the sign start to flash, you know that realistically, you wont be going any where...at any speed...for quite a while. gotta love the M25.

6 May 2009

normal advertising?

maybe its because i have never bought diapers before...or maybe its the UK. But i just received a coupon in the mail for a discount on nappys (thats how the Brits say diapers), and the add said "the best soft poo absorbing nappy for newborns" really? the best soft poo absorbing?! i was not aware that soft poo was the official way to describe baby excrement. apparently it is. but whether that is normal or not, it made me laugh. a lot.

5 May 2009

he is the greatest

I have lots of thoughts floating around in my mind....but neither the will nor the energy to write it all out. i am exhausted and for no good reason. every time i say that to friends they remind me that i am pregnant and that is good enough reason. perhaps. but i am still of the mindset that you actually have to do something to feel tired. sitting on the couch, watching sitcom re-runs and eating goldfish does not actually count as doing something. so, i am tired for no reason other than the fact that i am growing a human.

but i do want to mention, once again, how great my husband is. he is great. pretty much since the day i met him when people asked about him, i said that he was perfect. i still say that. because its true. he is perfect.

on this particular day i would like to honour him with a post because of rugby. this weekend was a big 7's tournament (7's because the game is played with 7 players instead of the usual 15...plus the rules are slightly different) anyway...big tournament, lots of teams, lots of players...and rhys was the best. literally. not only did his team win the entire tournament, but they won in the final minutes thanks to a try by my wonderful and talented husband. he then converted with a kick (at a difficult angle by the way) to gain victory for his team! but if that wasn’t enough, at the awards ceremony in the evening, following the tournament and a regular 15 side rugby game, Rhys was honoured with the "Player of the Tournament" award. see? its not just me that thinks he is great. its every body...so great in fact that they gave him an award. it is sitting on our shelf next to the "Player of the Year" trophy the club game him last year for his regular season exploits.

and i can shamelessly brag about my husband as much as i want. and if i didn’t mention these things, well I am not sure they would ever be known. rhys is one of the most humble men i know. he would never shout about his achievements. so i will do it for him. MY HUSBAND IS GREAT!!

Rhys winning his award

Rhys with his Player of the Tournament award and his medal for being n the 'All Star' team that won the 15 side game. again, see? he is great!