life. what. to. do.

what is it about life that makes it so weird.... what is it that makes us questions and struggle and laugh and love and dance and cry, sometimes all at the same time? I am 26 now. Technically I am 26, 3 months and 28 days old. Not that it is really old, but its not exactly a 'young pup' either. I no longer qualify as a recent graduate. I do not get youth discounts on train travel, hostels, and I class as an adult officially when renting a car. I still have my student ID from U of A, which I try to use occasionally, but I fear that even that will have to come to an end soon.

So what to do now? Ah, the proverbial question. What. to. do. While I have no answer for that question, today I feel strangely empowered to make positive decisions and changes. For those of you that have known me, and lived me with, for years can assume what this means. Changing my hair, new piercing, feeling compelled to get a new tattoo, rearranging the furniture, getting ride of clothes etc... While some of those things will hold true for this time of change, i.e I am getting my hair cut at 11:30, I am in the middle of massive closet clean out, and new tattoo is on its way, this time I am also adding a new element. As i seem to be quite a fan of lists recently, i have complied a list of things that I will change/start to do to make a positive difference in how I will choose to live the next years of my life.

set aside time to spend in prayer and meditation (with Jesus of course, don’t think i have gone all crazy and post-modern over here)

really recycle. not just bottles and glass, but everything

simplify. get ride of all the crap i have that i don’t really need. live in more open space and less clutter.

stay motivated to read the entire Bible.

really invest in being the best wife that i can be. even if it means i cant be as lazy as i want when i come home from work.

lose the pride and actually get a job i love regardless of image.

learn to smile and laugh instead of getting angry and gritting my teeth (yeah, i do that sometimes...only to myself but still!)

learn to sew.

be dedicated to writing. journal, blog, articles, whatever...keep doing it! A my good buddy Anais Nin says, “We write to taste life twice - in the moment and in retrospection.”

make a prayer list for those important and pray through it everyday.

Paint.

keep running.

make smart food choices. ok, i will still eat mcdonalds, but lets be a bit wiser about the fat/grease intake compared to veggies. this is the only body I have so i really should take better care

read for fun. poetry, history, novels, theology. i have loads of books in my house that i haven’t even read. i will start there.

start taking pictures again.

really invest in KIVA.

So that is the list that I am committed to for the next little bit of my life. Not that I am expecting dramatic changes because I am really trying hard to not have expectations. My thought is that I have spent a lot of this year complaining about my job, the weather, the flat, etc... and while some of those things do get me down there are better options of dealing with it. The trivial things of everyday life cannot effect me unless I let them. I have a choice to feel annoyed sitting my desk at work, with nothing to do, hating my job...or I can look at the fantastic opportunity that I have to read, journal, pray, catch up with friends, write letters, and most recently, send book ideas to publishers. What I am saying is that its time to approach life on my terms.

In the LAX airport, coming back from the British Embassy in August of last year i bought a mug. On one side is a little heart and on the other is the phrase "Love what you do, do what you love" Now is the time to truly embrace that phrase and trust that this is the time that the Lord has given me to follow his leading, with a smile, wherever that may take me!