There are lots of things I should be posting about instead. For example, part two of my US vs UK thoughts. I should also do an update of the tiny one who is 3 weeks old today, life with 2, like with 2 AND a husband overseas, and countless pictures. But instead I will post about my heart and mind and how I am going through withdrawal.
I think the word withdrawal makes like of the emotions. I am genuinely struggling with wanting to be here. I am desperately wishing that we were still in London. I love my kiddos, I love our house and our space and I love our friends, church and life here in Tulsa. I love being so close to my family. But the past few days my heart has been aching for my UK home.
Maybe it is because I just had another baby and my emotions are all over the place. Maybe it is because the last place I had a newborn was the UK, so I am comparing the two and reminiscing about the past. Maybe it is because Rhys is over there right now and I wish we all could be there together. Or maybe it is even all the talk of the Queen's Jubilee and the bit of me that wishes I was there because I love all the pomp and circumstance.
or maybe I just miss it.
But whatever the reason, my heart is sad. I have been looking back at all my pictures from our 4 years over there and I will admit, I have been crying. Just a little though, so don't judge. It was such a happy time for us, and it was so hard to leave, that when I look back I struggle to remember any of the bad things.
Sure the flat was tiny. And yes, everything was really expensive. But we had so much fun! and we had such amazing friends and such an incredible community. Looking through the old pictures I am flooded with some of the best memories of my life. and that makes me miss it even more.
so that's where I am today. Hurting heart and missing the UK.