today = fail

 My children began the morning by revolting and getting up at 6.00! That is almost 2 hours earlier than either one of them usually gets up. I told Eleri she had to stay in bed and put the mobile on in Lowri's crib to occupy her. I managed to lay in bed for a few more minutes, but sleep was not possible as all I could hear was Lg's crappy mobile music and Eleri saying "Mommy, mommy, mommy. mommy, mommy, mommy...." you get the picture. About 6.45 I went back up to get them both.

Apparently E actually needed something and was not just being noisy to get up. Her bed was soaked. When I asked why she didn't let me know she needed to go potty, she said "I did. I was calling mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy but you didn't come." Knife through the heart. Pretty major mom fail.

Lg was also not too happy about being left in her bed either. Explosive poop all over. I will never understand how such a tiny body can produce so much poop! After feeding Lg, cleaning up a pretty massive throw up from the walls and couch, getting E dressed and starting a load of laundry, I decided breakfast out was a better plan than in. So off we went to McDonald's. Yeah, I know, breakfast of champions. But it was only 7:45 and I was already at my wits end. I could feel my frustration growing so a change of scenery seemed like a good idea.

Our stomachs full of pancakes, and mine full with some coffee too, we headed out to the zoo. The change of pace had worked, all of our attitudes were better. Until we pulled into the zoo.

Lg started screaming the minute we turned into the parking lot and E decided that this was a good time to say that she didn't want to go to the zoo any more. I should have listened to her and turned back around. But I was annoyed. We had made lunches, packed the bags, made plans to meet a friend and driven 30 minutes to get to there. We were staying put whether she liked it or not!! Not a wise move, mom fail again.

As I explained to E we were staying and tried to get Lg to stop crying, I realised our stroller had 2 flat tires. When your stroller only has 3 tires and 2 are flat, it doesnt make for smoothest of rides. But I put Lowri in and off we went to the zoo. Very awkwardly might I add.

Once inside it didn't go any better. One of the exhibits Eleri wanted to see was closed for renovation, our friend ended up getting there about an hour late (she has a 7 week old so totally understandable) and Lg decided she needed to start crying again.

We made it to the monkey exhibit and managed to find a few sprinklers to run through before we headed to the playground so I could sit and feed while E played. But once we got there, E didn't want to play. This was about the time she also decided she didn't want to wear shoes anymore either. As we were fighting nicely discussing why she had to wear shoes at the zoo, and I am trying to situate Lg with the nursing cover, a 5 year old girl comes over and the next 10 minutes went something like this:

random kid: I like your baby. I have some dolls. I like real babies though. I have a sister. she is not a baby. can i see your baby? why is she under a blanket? Can I touch her? Do you have more than one baby? Why are you at the zoo? Can I touch your baby? Can I feed her? What does she eat? What do you eat? I like fruit snacks. I think I have some. Hold on I will be right back. (kid runs off....kid comes back) Why is your baby under a blanket? Look I have fruit snacks. Who owns this bench? Why is it here? I think it is for big girls like me. I am big. But you are bigger. Do you like babies? Do you like benches? When does your baby want to eat? Can I feed her? I like to feed babies. Do you know baby Greg? He is a baby. I feed him sometimes. You know him? can I touch your baby?

Me: No, you cant touch my baby. She is eating.

Kid: Why? I want to touch her. Why cant I? Why is she eating under a blanket? Why?

By this point I am losing my patience. My own kid is whining, not playing and pulling on one arm, while this other completely unknown, random kid is pulling on my other arm, incessantly asking me questions!!! I had some questions of my own! For starters, where was this kids mother and why was she not doing anything!!!

Finally my friend and her son came, but E just wanted to watch a movie on my iphone. So what did I do? I gave it to her. By this point we had been at the zoo about an hour and half and only seen the monkeys. Eleri had been shoeless and running around for about 30 minutes and Lowri was annoyed that her feed was continuously interrupted. Eventually both kids were ready to move on and we ventured over to the tigers and lions.

Tigers are e's favourite part of the zoo. They are her favourite animal and she continually talks about them. Our friend wanted to play on the water slide and not see the tigers. So after about 25 minutes together, all of which Eleri spent on the phone, we split up.

We saw tigers, lions, penguins, rhinos and then ate lunch. These are all within 20 feet of each other so we had not really wandered all that far. Then the melt down happened.

You may think I mean Eleri. Oh no, I mean me.

Annoying kid from earlier reappeared and the questions started again. Every other word out of Eleri's mouth was asking to go on the train, reminding me that last time we were here I had promised her a ride that next time we came. Lg had yet to stop crying so I picked her up and she exploded poop and vomit all over herself, me and the stroller. Did I bring a change of clothes? No. About 30 seconds later E said she needed to go to the potty. So here I am, covered in baby junk, with a crying baby also covered in baby junk, pushing a stroller with two flat tires and trying to correct a three year old who is refusing to wear shoes. said three year old was also jumping in every muddy puddle she could find (dear god I am hope it was just mud) and now she wants to go to the potty. Awesome. I said she needed to wait a few minutes.

Did I mention we were in the bathroom not even 10 minutes before that and she had very adamantly refused to go because she said she didn't need to? 

We eventually head to the bathroom, leaving a nice trail of grossness as we go, but it was too late. My child, who has been potty trained since she was 18 months old, and before today hadn't had an accident in so long that I cant even remember has now had 2 today. Did I have extra clothes for her? Nope. Mom fail yet again.

Ensue meltdown.

I was somewhere between volcanic anger exploding out of my mouth and tears of defeat pouring down my face. I put Lowri in her stroller, apologised to Eleri for not having extra clothes and just sat down on the ground, frustrated and dejected. We were finished at the zoo.

Somehow we made it to the parking lot, one shoeless and one screaming. We are home now, thank the Lord, and both are asleep. I am not sure if things could have gone any worse than they did, but now they are quiet and it is wonderful.