High School Musical

my baby is completely weaned. i started her on formula and food on a thursday and 7 days later she was completely finished breastfeeding. i had told myself that when it came to weaning, i wanted it to go quickly. a week was pretty quick. but it worked well for us. she was happy to switch and seemed completely unaffected by it. i had wondered how my body would react because i had heard it was usually a pretty painful process (engorgement and such...) to avoid this step, i intentionally de-hydrated myself. i stopped drinking in an attempt to stop producing milk. because that is not the healthiest of ideas, i wont recommend that to anyone else but.... it worked brilliantly! 3 days of hardly any fluid and i bypassed the painful bits.

the downfall of my quick weaning plan?

i forgot i needed to change my eating habits. while the amount of additional calories that breastfeeding burns is not massive, it still offers a bit of leeway in eating. and pregnancy offers LOADS of leeway because there is always an excuse to eat a little bit extra. and before i got pregnant i was running between 6 to 8 miles a day. so i could stand to eat a bit extra. But now? Now i REALLY need to watch what i eat. I am not breastfeeding. i am not pregnant. and i am NOT running anywhere near 6 miles a day. i am barely running 6 miles a week! unfortunately, the amount of food i am eating has not changed at all. for instance, tonight for dinner i had spaghetti and 11 pieces of garlic bread. ELEVEN. whoa.

the end of february was my goal to be completely back to the same body size that i was in October of 2008. tonight i have decided that that is an unreasonable goal. No, i did not decide that because i ate 11 pieces of garlic bread. (promise, that had nothing to do with it) but i have had a baby. my body has changed. and its ok, because i have a precious little girl as a result. i have lost of most of pregnancy weight, but am still holding on to a few extra pounds. i had told myself that as soon as i was finished weaning, i would focus on getting back to pre-pregnancy size. i had been pretty down on myself about 'size' recently. i never set a weight goal really, it was more size. and two factors this evening showed me it wont be possible.

cleaning and facebook.

i was cleaning out my drawers and discovered my halloween costume from 2008. that is, or was rather, my target month. Then i found a picture on facebook of me wearing that costume. and it hit me. i had set myself an unrealistic goal.

here is a picture of me wearing the costume. and chopping over the head of a zombie.


it was an actual high school musical cheerleading costume from the disney store. in a childs size 9-10. after birthing a child there is no way i can fit into a childs size 9-10 again. so now that weaning is over, i have set a new goal for myself. a goal that is much more reasonable. a goal that in no way, shape, or form involves high school musical. which is for the best.

and that picture? i have it to remind me that its not about an image to try and live up to. its about what is healthly. healthly weight, healthly body image, healthy lifestyle. no childrens clothing and definitely not 11 pieces of garlic bread.