i miss....
the leaves changing
the pumpkin patch. i really want to take little eleri to get a pumpkin
pumpkin pie
getting ready for thanksgiving
apple cider
j. crew fall collection
pumpkin spice latte from starbucks
but i love....
random fall sunshine that is gracing us here in the UK
big red double decker buses driving down my street
christmas lights out already
eleri's dalmation costume for halloween
ted baker fall collection
butternut squash soup
the start of autumn internationals in a few weeks (rugby seasons people!)
disneyland paris (its my goal to go this year)
13 October 2009
7 October 2009
me and the postman
as everyone is well aware, i am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my passport from the British government so i can go to america in november. they will be sent back by special devliery so everytime i hear the postman my heart races a little bit. every day i wait for him to knock on my window and let me know there is a package for me. every day i wait and every day he doesnt come.
and then today....today i heard the postman come, and then i heard a knock.
i was so excited i put the baby in her chair, hurried to unlock the door and ran out into the communal hallway to meet the postman. i signed for my package, collected the rest of my mail from him and went back to my flat. i sat down on the couch to find out if it was my passport and thats when i realised it. i did not have a shirt on. thats right folks. i was so excited about the possibility that the postman might be delievering my passport that i ran outside in only my bra. sweet. i had a good laugh about it becasue at that point, what could i do? i am surprised that the postman managed to keep a straight face. perhaps its more common than i think? do people reguarly come to the door half naked? i sure hope i never do it again.
and it wasnt even my passport.
and then today....today i heard the postman come, and then i heard a knock.
i was so excited i put the baby in her chair, hurried to unlock the door and ran out into the communal hallway to meet the postman. i signed for my package, collected the rest of my mail from him and went back to my flat. i sat down on the couch to find out if it was my passport and thats when i realised it. i did not have a shirt on. thats right folks. i was so excited about the possibility that the postman might be delievering my passport that i ran outside in only my bra. sweet. i had a good laugh about it becasue at that point, what could i do? i am surprised that the postman managed to keep a straight face. perhaps its more common than i think? do people reguarly come to the door half naked? i sure hope i never do it again.
and it wasnt even my passport.
3 October 2009
its not like riding a bicycle
you can forget how to run. who would have thought!? its been exactly 356 days since i have run. i know this because i ran a half marathon when i was about 4 weeks pregnant on the 12th of october 2008. i know i ran on the 13th because i always have a cool down day the day after a run. and today is the 3rd of october 2009.
almost en entire year of NO running!
if you dont like to run, this may not seem like a big deal to you. but to me, running was a HUGE part of my life. my running shoes were more than a means of exercise to me. they were a way to process the day, ponder the future and gain both physical and mental strength. i really looked forward to my run every day. and i looked forward to training, to the next big run. I was planning on running the London marathon this spring.
and then i got pregnant. and didnt stop throwing up for about 20 weeks. the doctor advised that i not run until after the birth. and then i had another stupid operation. and then had to wait the recovery period. which brings me to now. and the fact that its been 356 days since my last run.
and its not like riding a bicycle. you can forget. i did. i forgot to strech before i started, i wore a loose sports bra, i wore a long sleeve shirt and nearly over heated, i tied my shoe laces to tighly, i tripped over my own feet countless times and i barely made it a mile before i came panting home. it was a pathetic attempt at a run (if i can even call it that) rhys says i am being to hard on myself; it has been nearly a year after all. but its hard to go from 7 or 8 miles a day to barely 1. but hey ho, never too late to pick it up again. i have a 10k booked for january and another half marathon in the spring.
and now the running shoes beckon. off i go again.
almost en entire year of NO running!
if you dont like to run, this may not seem like a big deal to you. but to me, running was a HUGE part of my life. my running shoes were more than a means of exercise to me. they were a way to process the day, ponder the future and gain both physical and mental strength. i really looked forward to my run every day. and i looked forward to training, to the next big run. I was planning on running the London marathon this spring.
and then i got pregnant. and didnt stop throwing up for about 20 weeks. the doctor advised that i not run until after the birth. and then i had another stupid operation. and then had to wait the recovery period. which brings me to now. and the fact that its been 356 days since my last run.
and its not like riding a bicycle. you can forget. i did. i forgot to strech before i started, i wore a loose sports bra, i wore a long sleeve shirt and nearly over heated, i tied my shoe laces to tighly, i tripped over my own feet countless times and i barely made it a mile before i came panting home. it was a pathetic attempt at a run (if i can even call it that) rhys says i am being to hard on myself; it has been nearly a year after all. but its hard to go from 7 or 8 miles a day to barely 1. but hey ho, never too late to pick it up again. i have a 10k booked for january and another half marathon in the spring.
and now the running shoes beckon. off i go again.
30 September 2009
everything....and the kitchen sink.
i have so many thoughts running around in my head. so many things that i want to write about. yet every time that i sit down to actually post something it ends up being either too detailed or too personal and i just write it in my journal instead. perhaps its just taking a little longer than i thought it would to adjust to motherhood. or perhaps i just dont want to seem like i am complaining about small, insignificant things. perhaps its that my house is just a bit too messy at the moment that when i sit down to write i feel guilty, like i should be cleaning instead. (really, who likes to clean anyway?)
but i do have some thoughts.
first and foremost, i couldnt imagine life any other way. i couldnt imagine not having little eleri, i couldnt imagine not being a stay at home mom. i just couldnt. what do i other people do? i dont know. i stay at home and hang out with the most precious little girl in the world. i love watching her little mouth move when she sleeps. i love seeing her wake up with a little stretch and i LOVE it when she looks over, sees me and a big smile breaks across her face. i love singing to her, teaching her things like clapping and rolling over. basically i just love her. and i couldnt imagine it any other way.
and it only took about 6 weeks to get there. i wasnt prepared for that. i loved my daughter instantly. and it grew a little more each day. but it wasnt until 6 or 7 weeks down the line that i actually felt adjusted, normal. it took that long to get the hang of her schedule, to put her on a schedule really. it took that long to be able to play with her, feed her, change her, take care of her and take care of other things. its really only been the last few weeks that i have managed to do any kind of cleaning, cooking, shopping and not neglect the little one. before that it was one or the other. obviously it was the housework and cooking that fell by the waste side. that was hard on me and rhys. now? well, now i feel adjusted. which is great, i thought it would happen instantly. i thought i would bring the little one home and i would have no struggles, no adjustment period, no tiredness, no sadness...all sunshine and roses. but then i thought labour would be pain free too, so clearly i have unrealistic expectations. i read other peoples blogs who said they were instantly comfortable with everything, people who only needed 1 or 2 weeks to feel completely normal. i heard about friends who were completely fine. i think there is an element in there where people just dont talk about the hard things. but also the element that everyone is different. each experience is individual. and the same principal about not comparing yourself with others physically, financially etc... well that principle also applies to motherhood. each mom is different. each baby is different. and that is what makes it so exciting.
thought number two? i still LOVE diagnosis murder. no matter how much i watch it, it just keeps getting better. what ever happened to classic actors like Dick Van Dike? i think modern hollywood is really missing in the mark. and todays episode was even more fantastic than usual. why you ask. because today not only had Dr. Sloan (aka dick van dike) the guest star was Matlock!! (aka andy griffin) seriously how great is that?! it was a good show. cheesy? yes. predictable? yes. but fantastic all the same.
next thought? i want more of the suburban life than i ever thought i would. i have always claimed that i would be fine travelling, adventuring around the world, living out of a backpack, never really having roots. and then eleri happened. and ALL of those ideas went out the window. and down the drain. and as far away from what i want for my reality as possible. i want roots for eleri. i want her to have a home, a yard to play in, a street to ride her bike down. a street that does not have double decker buses zooming up and down it. i want her to have a table to eat at, room to crawl and walk around in; and selfishly i want a dishwasher. i dont necessarily want more things (well, aside from the dishwasher) like extra toys, or more clothes or electronics...its not the things, but the place. london is no place to raise a child. rampent knife crime, busy streets, small spaces, smog. its the lifestyle that i want. who knew, i want the white picket fence! dont get me wrong, my love of travel will NEVER go away. i am already making plans to take the little one to Paris, Rome, Berlin, Zurich; major European sites whilst we have the chance. but there is a massive difference between travelling as a single person, even as a married couple, and trying to have a travellers lifestyle with a child. my sense of adventure will never go away. but my need to provide a stable lifestyle is taking over.
and finally, i love mcdonalds. i know, i know, that is disgusting. who likes mcdonals? really? its greasy, fried, soaked in oil and fat, processed, no natural ingredients at all, and basically one of the most revolting things you could eat. and yet, inspite of all that, i still love it. to me those golden arches mean more than fried, fast food. to me it means happiness, memories. i had some of my childhood birthday parties at mcdonals. back when the hamburgerler and grimce made up playground rides. i won $50 on the mcdonalds monoploy when i was 8. $50 is a lot to an 8 year old. i was with my grandparents and they let me keep all the money myself. in high school my best friend and i used to skip school and go to mcdonalds. (or sonic...mmmm...sonic) mcdonalds was the first place i drove on my own when i got my license. i ate at mcdonalds the morning of my wedding, on my way to the church. i had mcdonalds for lunch about 30 minutes before i found out i was pregnant. i had a happy meal when i found out about the cancer. and i had mcdonalds today. nothing special about today, i just happened to have it. i have limited mcdonalds recently, and i can count on my two hands the number of times i have eaten there since i became pregnant and am breastfeeding. but sometimes, man its just nice. probably even nicer to me now in the absence of other fast food places like sonic, or taco bell, or chick-fil-a.
so there it is. my thoughts for the moment. now i am going to go and play with my daughter. she is just waking up and has the cutest little confused look on her face. gosh, i love her so much. i am so lucky to be able to be with her everyday. thank the lord for UK maternity leave. i love my life.
but i do have some thoughts.
first and foremost, i couldnt imagine life any other way. i couldnt imagine not having little eleri, i couldnt imagine not being a stay at home mom. i just couldnt. what do i other people do? i dont know. i stay at home and hang out with the most precious little girl in the world. i love watching her little mouth move when she sleeps. i love seeing her wake up with a little stretch and i LOVE it when she looks over, sees me and a big smile breaks across her face. i love singing to her, teaching her things like clapping and rolling over. basically i just love her. and i couldnt imagine it any other way.
and it only took about 6 weeks to get there. i wasnt prepared for that. i loved my daughter instantly. and it grew a little more each day. but it wasnt until 6 or 7 weeks down the line that i actually felt adjusted, normal. it took that long to get the hang of her schedule, to put her on a schedule really. it took that long to be able to play with her, feed her, change her, take care of her and take care of other things. its really only been the last few weeks that i have managed to do any kind of cleaning, cooking, shopping and not neglect the little one. before that it was one or the other. obviously it was the housework and cooking that fell by the waste side. that was hard on me and rhys. now? well, now i feel adjusted. which is great, i thought it would happen instantly. i thought i would bring the little one home and i would have no struggles, no adjustment period, no tiredness, no sadness...all sunshine and roses. but then i thought labour would be pain free too, so clearly i have unrealistic expectations. i read other peoples blogs who said they were instantly comfortable with everything, people who only needed 1 or 2 weeks to feel completely normal. i heard about friends who were completely fine. i think there is an element in there where people just dont talk about the hard things. but also the element that everyone is different. each experience is individual. and the same principal about not comparing yourself with others physically, financially etc... well that principle also applies to motherhood. each mom is different. each baby is different. and that is what makes it so exciting.
thought number two? i still LOVE diagnosis murder. no matter how much i watch it, it just keeps getting better. what ever happened to classic actors like Dick Van Dike? i think modern hollywood is really missing in the mark. and todays episode was even more fantastic than usual. why you ask. because today not only had Dr. Sloan (aka dick van dike) the guest star was Matlock!! (aka andy griffin) seriously how great is that?! it was a good show. cheesy? yes. predictable? yes. but fantastic all the same.
next thought? i want more of the suburban life than i ever thought i would. i have always claimed that i would be fine travelling, adventuring around the world, living out of a backpack, never really having roots. and then eleri happened. and ALL of those ideas went out the window. and down the drain. and as far away from what i want for my reality as possible. i want roots for eleri. i want her to have a home, a yard to play in, a street to ride her bike down. a street that does not have double decker buses zooming up and down it. i want her to have a table to eat at, room to crawl and walk around in; and selfishly i want a dishwasher. i dont necessarily want more things (well, aside from the dishwasher) like extra toys, or more clothes or electronics...its not the things, but the place. london is no place to raise a child. rampent knife crime, busy streets, small spaces, smog. its the lifestyle that i want. who knew, i want the white picket fence! dont get me wrong, my love of travel will NEVER go away. i am already making plans to take the little one to Paris, Rome, Berlin, Zurich; major European sites whilst we have the chance. but there is a massive difference between travelling as a single person, even as a married couple, and trying to have a travellers lifestyle with a child. my sense of adventure will never go away. but my need to provide a stable lifestyle is taking over.
and finally, i love mcdonalds. i know, i know, that is disgusting. who likes mcdonals? really? its greasy, fried, soaked in oil and fat, processed, no natural ingredients at all, and basically one of the most revolting things you could eat. and yet, inspite of all that, i still love it. to me those golden arches mean more than fried, fast food. to me it means happiness, memories. i had some of my childhood birthday parties at mcdonals. back when the hamburgerler and grimce made up playground rides. i won $50 on the mcdonalds monoploy when i was 8. $50 is a lot to an 8 year old. i was with my grandparents and they let me keep all the money myself. in high school my best friend and i used to skip school and go to mcdonalds. (or sonic...mmmm...sonic) mcdonalds was the first place i drove on my own when i got my license. i ate at mcdonalds the morning of my wedding, on my way to the church. i had mcdonalds for lunch about 30 minutes before i found out i was pregnant. i had a happy meal when i found out about the cancer. and i had mcdonalds today. nothing special about today, i just happened to have it. i have limited mcdonalds recently, and i can count on my two hands the number of times i have eaten there since i became pregnant and am breastfeeding. but sometimes, man its just nice. probably even nicer to me now in the absence of other fast food places like sonic, or taco bell, or chick-fil-a.
so there it is. my thoughts for the moment. now i am going to go and play with my daughter. she is just waking up and has the cutest little confused look on her face. gosh, i love her so much. i am so lucky to be able to be with her everyday. thank the lord for UK maternity leave. i love my life.
29 September 2009
yes, he is outstanding!
so everyone go this website and check out how great my husband is :) just look past the word "autumnal" at the start of the article. seriously? autumnal? who came up with that word?
(my favourite is the "man of the match" mention at the bottom!)
(my favourite is the "man of the match" mention at the bottom!)
26 September 2009
dinner conversation
me: ah stupid fly
(so i watch the fly carefully, reach out and grab it in my hand)
rhys: ok then mr. miagi (karate kid reference)
me: ha ha! i am so cool
(i open my hand to kill the fly, but instead it flys out...buzzing back around the house)
rhys: not so cool anymore eh?
me: i catch flies in my hand ALL THE TIME. i am super.
(so i watch the fly carefully, reach out and grab it in my hand)
rhys: ok then mr. miagi (karate kid reference)
me: ha ha! i am so cool
(i open my hand to kill the fly, but instead it flys out...buzzing back around the house)
rhys: not so cool anymore eh?
me: i catch flies in my hand ALL THE TIME. i am super.
24 September 2009
2 months
my baby is two months old today. i cant believe it. i know its a cliche, but its gone by so fast. or is that an addage? cliche because its a stereotype that sometimes proves true and addage because it is true? is that the rule? or could it be that i am even having that discussion because i am so exhausted that i can hardly think straight. addage, cliche, does it even matter?!
the point is that whilst i love my daughter so much, and still hold that she is perfect, this whole week she has decided that she prefers to be awake in the night. she slept from 9pm to 5am 3 nights in a row. and i was so thrilled that yes, in fact, i did have the perfect baby. but now? all week she has gotten up at 2 or 3. then again at 6 or so....not really what i was used to. even before the 9 to 5, she would get up at 4 go back to sleep until about 9. perfect. i got used to that. 2 and then 6? not so used to that. and i as exhausted. so the lengthy 2 month post wont really happen. here are some bullet points.
*went to the weight clinic today and the babe weighs 12.6!! yup, she can still have the classification of giant baby.
*first rugby match. i carried her around in the baby bjorn and she was perfectly content the entire game. and everyone thought she was so precious. it was a great day. (at her second rugby game, she got to see daddy score! woo hoo daddy!)
*big e had her first bottle. rhys has really been wanting to feed the baby so we have been freezing little bits of breastmilk here and there. we finally got it out and rhys feed her. 3 times now. she took to it perfectly and it was so cute. we have a picture of it but my computer wont let me up load. man i need a new computer.
*i am sure there are more...but my brain is turning to mush so i am going to bed. good night.
happy 2 month birthday little chick pea!! mommy loves you!
the point is that whilst i love my daughter so much, and still hold that she is perfect, this whole week she has decided that she prefers to be awake in the night. she slept from 9pm to 5am 3 nights in a row. and i was so thrilled that yes, in fact, i did have the perfect baby. but now? all week she has gotten up at 2 or 3. then again at 6 or so....not really what i was used to. even before the 9 to 5, she would get up at 4 go back to sleep until about 9. perfect. i got used to that. 2 and then 6? not so used to that. and i as exhausted. so the lengthy 2 month post wont really happen. here are some bullet points.
*went to the weight clinic today and the babe weighs 12.6!! yup, she can still have the classification of giant baby.
*first rugby match. i carried her around in the baby bjorn and she was perfectly content the entire game. and everyone thought she was so precious. it was a great day. (at her second rugby game, she got to see daddy score! woo hoo daddy!)
*big e had her first bottle. rhys has really been wanting to feed the baby so we have been freezing little bits of breastmilk here and there. we finally got it out and rhys feed her. 3 times now. she took to it perfectly and it was so cute. we have a picture of it but my computer wont let me up load. man i need a new computer.
*i am sure there are more...but my brain is turning to mush so i am going to bed. good night.
happy 2 month birthday little chick pea!! mommy loves you!
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