I am not sad, depressed, upset or overly excited. I am not laughing at a funny joke. Yet I am crying. Tears streaming down my face. And I cant stop it. I finally understand the expression "bored to tears" I am absoultley bored to tears! There is no other way to describe it. Nothing at work in stimulating. Instead it is mind numbingly boring, forcing my brain to slowly drip away until there is nothing left. I consider myself a patinent person. But I have reached my limit. I am rapidly running out of patience with the job and everything associated with it. I will not be able to handle such an anti-social, counter productive enviornment for much longer. So what to do?
They call it the 'Travel Bug' and I have caught it. But to me it’s more like the terminal version of the bug. It’s a disease that never goes away, never satisfied with one trip, or two, or three. Instead it's a continuously growing infection, eating away at every aspect of my mind and body until all I can think about and plan for is a giant round the world tour to every country imaginable. I am still looking for the job that will pay me to this. or the winning lottery ticket that will enable to do it regardless. But until then, I will be jealous of everyone who gets to travel. James Hill, Andy McTavish and Devi Abraham are the most recent subjects of my jealously. They are all taking off within the next couple of months to travel around the world.
I am not an office person. I don’t do well sitting at a desk for hours on end. My family has always called me a "free spirit" never wanting to be tied down, always on the go. I never realised how true that was until I got stuck in an office job. Rhys is the same way. Which is wonderful because it opens the possibilities to explore together, but is awful on the same note because then we both feel stuck in boring, useless jobs. I will keep searching, the right 'travel' job is out there somewhere....until then I will be a bit downhearted and live vicariously through my friends who are travelling.
I am not whole heartedly behind the idea that travelling in the answer. I want a house, kids, friends, some roots. Those things are hard to come by being a nomad. Since not everyone i know and love desires to travel with me for the rest of our lives....that does limit what I can do and how far I can go. So what to do?
That’s right. Lonely Planet is the answer. Well, that or some other travel guide who does the same thing. If only they wanted to give me and Rhys a job of writing for their guide books. If only. But until then I will sit at my desk, for 8 hours a day. Min mind slowly wasting away to nothingness, wishing it was different. Being bored to tears.