10 days later....

I have been a mom for 10 days. it is amazing, scary, wonderful, overwhelming, fantastic, and about a million other things all at the same time. Its strange to go from being just you to being completely responsible for a little person. not just that, but a little person that cant actually tell you what they want, need or how they are feeling. you go from being totally relaxed and in control of your own life, to being in control of someone elses life...but not entirely sure exactly what to do. little eleri didn't come with an instruction manual.

but 10 days later i can safely say that instruction manual or not, little eleri is still perfect. really. she is. she feeds every 3.5 to 4 hours. she eats really well, has some awake time after she eats where she just stares up at me with the biggest blue eyes ever while she giggles and smiles, then she goes back to sleep. perfect. i get about6 hours of sleeps a night. granted its broken up around 2 or 3 in the morning for a feed, but considering what some newborns are like. man, eleri is perfect.

not everything has been sunshine and roses though; eleri decided that she wanted to create a little drama for us. we had an trip to the emergency room 2 days ago because her cord got infected. we phoned up the doctor who said to take her to the emergency room straight away. whenever the NHS tells you to do something 'straight away' you know you better move because believe me, they hardly ever more quickly. its practically near death to get them to respond (ok, slight exaggeration) but still. they said straight away and i started to panic. I am told that the Swine Flu is not really a big deal in the states anymore, but over here, it still is. people are still coming down with it, people are still dying because of it. there are signs everywhere about health and safety and staying away form certain places and people. the emergency room has got to be one of those places right? no 8 day old baby needs to be around adults who had to go to the emergency room in the first place! Regardless of my fears, we bundled little eleri into her car seat and shot off the the emergency room.

I was so flustered when we got there. they asked for name and date of birth and i gave my details instead of hers. i couldn't even sit down whilst we were waiting to be called (although some of that was probably because of the stitches) and as soon as the doctor started to look at her cord, i burst into tears. yeah, good thing i am shaping up to be a calm and laid back mom....er...wait... at least rhys remained calm. they checked her over, did some tests and then we waited. and waited. and waited some more. We were waiting to see if she needed to be admitted and have an IV with medicine or if we could take her home and just have a prescription. it was the longest hour of my life. and the longer we waited the more convinced i became that something was dreadfully wrong. finally they came back with the green piece of prescription paper and tears welled up in my eyes again. she was well enough to take home. praise the lord! Although giving her antibiotics through a tiny baby syringe is difficult. and heartbreaking. i just want to wrap her up and protect her from everything. forever.

oh, and let me mention that through out the entire hospital experience...from car seat to waiting room to doctor, to nurse, to tests, to scale, to more doctors, to being poked and prodded and looked at and undressed and cold...the only time she cried was when she wanted to eat. as soon as she started feeding, she stopped crying. she is the most laid back baby ever. clearly she does not take after her mother.

so 10 days later and my baby is still perfect. i have learned that i am far from it. not that i ever thought i was perfect, but i think part of me thought this whole baby thing would be a bit easier than it is. sure there are 'motherly instincts' but there is also a lot to learn. it takes time and effort to care for a tiny human being. especially when you want to make sure that everything is done just so. i have already learned so much in the past 10 days it is incredible to imagine what the next 10 days will bring. and the 10 after that. and then 10 more after that.

Eleri is constantly teaching us so much. and we are growing more and more accustomed to her sounds and faces. she is just 10 days old and already has such a personality. and her little laugh is so precious. her dad can make her giggle and smile more than anyone. its amazing to watch them together; they have such a special bond already.

people have always said that once they have children they cant imagine life without their kids. its so cliche, but so true. little eleri is only 10 days old and its strange to remember a time when she wasnt here. for so long rhys and i talked to my stomach. We knew eleri was inside and we talked to her like she was with us. Now she actually is and it still blows my mind.

I have a 10 day old baby. she is ours forever. no one gets to take her away from us. and whilst that comes with an incredible, overwhelmingly huge responsibility, it is also so incredibly amazing. i have a daughter. and she is perfect.