5 March 2012

10 weeks

In exactly 10 weeks from today I will have another precious, little daughter in my life. Due to the complications of this pregnancy (details here) I will not be allowed to go until my official due date. Assuming all continues to go as well as it has been, which we are trusting that it will, I will be induced in exactly 10 weeks today.

10 weeks.

When I say '10 weeks' the time sounds short, like it is right around the corner. But when I put it into months, saying instead almost 3 months. Well that sounds a bit longer, much farther away. I regularly interchange them, depending on my mood. But regardless of terminology, in a very short period of time we will become a family of 4. It will be incredible and life changing, and we are very exciting. But for these next few weeks and months leading up to it- man! we have a lot to do!

Lowri's room is a pit. still. I have made small steps to clearing out boxes and putting things away, but it is still a long way from finished. My first plan was to have every room in the house settled by the end of January. Then with the diagnosis, that goal was pushed to the end of February. It is now the 5th of March and realistically I can not see it being done by the end of this month either. Pictures need to be hung, E's room organised and arranged, more pictures hung, hall wall pictures hung, furniture ordered, said furniture arranged, more pictures hung. And last but not least, Lowri's room cleared out and made into a nursery. All in less than 10 weeks.

I have spent a lot of time looking around pinterest and craft sights, finding countless ideas for decorating and making fun things for my little one. And then I never do it. I wind up feeling discouraged, like I have somehow failed my unborn child. Does Lowri really care if I hand knit a blanket for her and paint some awesome artwork? No. But apparently I do. Remember this post? I was really fired up and motivated to do some work on the girls rooms. It lasted about 3 days.

It has been bothering me for a long time that I am not able to do all the things I want to do. I could say there are not enough hours in the day or not enough money in my bank account, but what it comes down to is choice. How I really choose to spend my time. I work Tuesday/Thursday from the time E is in school. I then rush from my job to pick her up. I choose to spend the rest of the afternoon playing with her. Monday is our 'home' day. Aside from my weekly doctor appointment Monday morning, we stay home and play. I do laundry and the necessary house type things. And we play. Wednesday morning is Bible study and then outside errands or just more play time. See the theme? play. Friday is ballet in the morning and then either play date with a few people or 'coffee club' with the ladies from my church. Which involves E playing with other kiddos and me having some adult time. It's a win, win situation.

I suppose I could do things in the evening, but from about 4pm on, I am done. There are a lot of things that I can think of that are worse than having a condition that makes you unbelievably tired, so I don't mean to complain. But I am unbelievably tired. It is often a struggle to keep my eyes open in the evenings through dinner. Funny to watch? Yes. Effective for doing craft projects? No.

And there are only 10 weeks left.

So what to do? Recently I have decided to let it go. t doesn't matter what I do or don't make, or sew, or paint. Sure pinterest is awesome, but every person on that site is not living my life. I have a specific set of circumstances as does everyone else. We are all required to live within our set our boundaries. So if I choose to play with E and clean and do laundry during the hours in which I can function like a normal human, then so be it. Projects will have to wait, which is completely ok.

Little Lowri will have this as her nursery bedding; a wonderful hand-me-down from big sister E.

And she will have these little owls on her couch. Sure I may have wanted to hand make a pair, but these store bought ones are just great.

And even though I am not in to matching all the time, big sister Eleri's bed looks pretty much like this (minus the ruffly bedskirt) and I think it's great that their rooms basically match.

Eleri may have said yesterday that she was not sharing her bathtub, toy box or any of her toys will Lowri, but by golly, they can share an awesome bedding pattern!

There it is folks. No more pinterest for me. The vast majority of Lowri's nursery will be store bought or hand-me-downs from E. I am finally ok with that. Which allows me to devote the next 10 weeks to things like playing with eleri and hanging pictures. Yes, it is really that important to hang those pictures!


Carol said...

Pregnancy tired-ness is the absolute worse, and with the other conditions, it is no wonder that you are exhausted. John regularly tells me that the stuff I do is for me, not the girls, which is mostly true. Way to let it all go. In 10 weeks, it certainly won't matter. Continuing to pray for you!

The Bishop's Wife said...

I agree with Carol. Also, when did I really care about how cute my house looked? I have allowed facebook and pinterest to feed my problem with comparing my house with other people's houses. You are choosing the better way to spend your day, and you are definitely an example to model. Thank you. Praying for you and Rhys as well.

Sohailah said...

Oh. My. Word. I just read your OTHER post - about the itching... and the melanoma... and the thirds, and the 80 and the 90-100% - thank you for sharing and for letting me know how grand my life is. And EXCELLENT response to the specialist. And it blows my mind that you are still on said waiitng list under that amazing nationalised health care system in the UK. Yes - it's nice that things are free - if you are alive to receive the treatments.

I wish I had a good reason for falling asleep early every night. Oh weait, I do. I'm old. :)

Love you!