on being a mom

there are lots of articles out there at the moment about motherhood, how to parent, what it means, making the most of every moment, giving yourself a break etc..... Today I came across this article. I loved it. Having kids is hard and wonderful. I really appreciate the perspective this author takes. Below is my favourite little bit of the article for those that dont click the link. (although you should. its a short article and its great!) "Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work."

pregnancy...

I only have 4 weeks left. Which is crazy and awesome all at the same time. You really forget how large and uncomfortable you feel the last few weeks.

Aside from the big post explaining the issues and a few posts here and there, I have not really had a lot to say about this pregnancy. I think some of that is because it is more complicated than I would like. But I think mostly it is because it has gone by so fast. I was only sick for about 15 weeks. I have had a 2 year old to keep up with and the joys of moving into a house and settling in. I may still have boxes that are unpacked, don't judge me.

SO here is a quick update. I have 4 weeks until I give birth. I feel large and very uncomfortable. More specifically, I want to eat anything that is salty, I cant get enough coffee which is bad. I restrain myself to 1 cup a day, but I would drink 17 pots if I thought it was ok. Yes, 17 pots exactly. It hurts to walk more than a few feet. I constantly feel like Lowri is just going to fall out she is so low and even though I have only gained 16 pounds, hardly any of my maternity clothes fit me. I think it is because I am carrying Lowri so low that the shirts simply do not cover.

People say every pregnancy is different and its true. This pregnancy could not be more different than Eleri's. Even if you remove the complications, they are still night and day. It has been fun, and I do enjoy being pregnant, but I have hit that point where I want to not have a little human inside me. I cant wait to hold my new little daughter. I cant wait for Eleri to meet her little sister. And I am really looking forward to running again.

So there is the update. I have only taken a few pictures this time, completely different for the millions I took last pregnancy, so here are the 2 pictures I have.

25 weeks


32 weeks


So there it is. the first and last real pregnancy update with pictures. I should be off to clean the house, but instead I am going to take a nap.

on cooking

I hate to cook. There I said it. I feel like a staple in the stay at home mom's life is cooking. Trying new recipes, providing healthy fare for the family. Especially with the big hype around organic food, whole foods and even growing your own food with various gardens. blech. I simply can not stomach any of it.

I am not a gardener, nor do I want to be. I mostly shop at Walmart or Target because that is afforable us to right now and I do not like to buy things intentionally do not buy things if they say organic because it annoys me. Prepare yourselves for a rant...

Technically EVERYTHING is organic as the REAL definition of organic is: having carbon based molecules in the molecular structure. All food is carbon based, therefore all food is organic. Even McDonald's. If you mean pesticide free and other things, which i think most people do, fine- change the definition of the word organic or find a new word!!

Rant over.

I do not like to cook. I LOVE to eat, but I hate the process of getting there. I am quite proud of myself when I try new recipes and make food that is unique and tasty- but man, I HATE actually getting to that point- the cooked food point. Did I mention I hate cooking?

When we were first married and both working Rhys cooked the majority of the time. Why? because he actually likes to cook. He also likes unbelievably large portion sizes so he would cook enough for 6 people just to make sure he would get enough. When I was pregnant with E, I was SOO sick that I could hardly get out of bed- he kept cooking. But when I became a stay at home mom, I felt like there was no viable reason why Rhys should work all day and then come home and cook a meal. After all, I was home, not doing a whole lot, so the least I could do was cook.

I used to pretend I liked it. But I dont. And now that we are in our own house, living by our own rules, it is a massive struggle for me to cook. I wait until the last possible moment I could possibly start dinner and then grumble around the kitchen while I gather things together. I drag my feet so much during the cooking process that most days we end up eating at least 30 minutes later than we should. Which means E is not always pleasant at meal times. My fault? without a doubt.

BUT I HATE COOKING!!!

I was given a crock pot for Christmas which I use A TON. Some people say that makes meals bland. I say add a few jalapenos to the recipe and bland no more. Or course you have to like hot food.... good thing we do! Most of my crock pot recipes are from pinterest. and whether the recipe says you can or not, the meat goes in frozen. So far, everything has come out wonderfully.

Maybe some day I will like cooking. But I doubt it. If I ever win the lottery, or come into expendable income someway, I will have no reservations about hiring a chef to make all our meals. I will clean up after said chef, no problem. So long as I am not cooking.

Which is what makes this week so great. Monday was taco salad. Easy, quick and I am craving all things mexican or tex-mex this pregnancy. Tuesday we had frozen lasagna. Healthy? of course :) I bought the party size so we could have left overs tonight. Then my mom called and said we were going out to eat for my grandma's birthday. woo hoo! No cooking tonight and leftovers tomorrow. Rhys is off Friday so apart from Monday, no cooking all week!! I love it!

So if you guys out there have any awesome and super easy crock pot recipes, let me know. My family will thank you!

stealing a post....

a post from an old, dear friend.....

some brain vomit

In 7 weeks I will have 2 little girls living in my house. That is both crazy and wonderful.

I am beyond exhausted. Seriously. Maybe I just dont remember being this giant and tired and worthless at this point in my last pregnancy, but man! It is a struggle to do anything.

I never sleep. Ever. I am lucky if I get 2 or 3 hours a night. I slept just fine right up until I had Eleri, so I am not sure if it is pregnancy related or not. But sadly sleep alludes me every. single. night. (hence the exhaustion)

Lowri's nursery is STILL NOT DONE! I am not sure if we could move any slower than we are, but at this rate her room will still be full of boxes and storage stuff until she is 2!

Eleri is getting really excited for Lowri. She asks almost everyday if Lowri can come out of my tummy and play with her. I am pretty sure E thinks that her baby sister is going to come out 2 and just like her. She is in for a big surprise. :)

Any kind of food I eat makes me feel sick. Nothing sounds good, even chick-fil-a. It's sad really, because I like to eat (normally) and it really sucks that I cant eat anything.

Maybe that is why I have only gained 13 pounds. I feel pretty ok about that. I mean,I still feel like a giant pregnant woman, but it's nice to know that at least at this point, the weight is still managable.

My plan is to wear my wedding dress for our 5 year anniversary. I will have a 3 month old. Realistic goal? Probably not. It took me 9 months to lose all the baby weight from Eleri. But then again, I gained more than 13 pounds. we shall see.

Wales won the Grand Slam last weekend. Woo Hoo Welsh rugby!! Thanks to our wonderful sling box we could watch it live. E is still walking around saying 'Go Wales' it's pretty darn cute.

I started working 28 February. It is 2 days a week at a preschool. I only work the hours that E is in school so I dont miss out on any time with her. It is a nice job, but again, I am exhausted. I will work up until 3 weeks before Lowri is born. It is hard working and being a mom. I dont feel that I can class as a 'working mom' because it is only 2 days a week from 8.45 to 2.15. Hardly strenuous hours. But it does leave me in awe and wonder about the mom's I know who work full time AND parent full time (Silvy, you are AMAZING!)

I LOVE the friends we have in Tulsa. Not quite at the point to say that I love tulsa, but the friends that we have made are incredible. I would never have imagined we would already have the community that we do. I love it.

I do not like to cook. I dont. I put it off until the very last minute every single day. Which means we end up eating a lot later than we should, but I simply do not enjoy cooking.

Eleri likes to say the prayer before our meals. She usually says "Dear Jesus, thank you for the food, amen" but last night she switched it up on us. "Dear God, Thank you for feeding me, Amen." We asked her where she learned that prayer and she answered "Jesus" Apparently, my daughter and Jesus are in direct communication regarding prayer. As it turns out, they pray that at school, but her little answer was SO sweet.

Whenever we go somewhere, E always wants us to buy double of everything, "one for me and one for wow-we" I love that she is thinking of her little sister.

British mother's day was last Sunday and Rhys got me the most amazing gift. I will take a picture and post it. Seriously, it is beautiful. Also, I really like that we celebrate British mother's day AND American mother's day. After all, I am both. Too bad for Rhys that Father's Day is the same day in both countries.

I am tired and going to nap now. Apologies for spelling and grammatical errors. I am not proof reading or spell checking. good night :)

10 weeks

In exactly 10 weeks from today I will have another precious, little daughter in my life. Due to the complications of this pregnancy (details here) I will not be allowed to go until my official due date. Assuming all continues to go as well as it has been, which we are trusting that it will, I will be induced in exactly 10 weeks today.

10 weeks.

When I say '10 weeks' the time sounds short, like it is right around the corner. But when I put it into months, saying instead almost 3 months. Well that sounds a bit longer, much farther away. I regularly interchange them, depending on my mood. But regardless of terminology, in a very short period of time we will become a family of 4. It will be incredible and life changing, and we are very exciting. But for these next few weeks and months leading up to it- man! we have a lot to do!

Lowri's room is a pit. still. I have made small steps to clearing out boxes and putting things away, but it is still a long way from finished. My first plan was to have every room in the house settled by the end of January. Then with the diagnosis, that goal was pushed to the end of February. It is now the 5th of March and realistically I can not see it being done by the end of this month either. Pictures need to be hung, E's room organised and arranged, more pictures hung, hall wall pictures hung, furniture ordered, said furniture arranged, more pictures hung. And last but not least, Lowri's room cleared out and made into a nursery. All in less than 10 weeks.

I have spent a lot of time looking around pinterest and craft sights, finding countless ideas for decorating and making fun things for my little one. And then I never do it. I wind up feeling discouraged, like I have somehow failed my unborn child. Does Lowri really care if I hand knit a blanket for her and paint some awesome artwork? No. But apparently I do. Remember this post? I was really fired up and motivated to do some work on the girls rooms. It lasted about 3 days.

It has been bothering me for a long time that I am not able to do all the things I want to do. I could say there are not enough hours in the day or not enough money in my bank account, but what it comes down to is choice. How I really choose to spend my time. I work Tuesday/Thursday from the time E is in school. I then rush from my job to pick her up. I choose to spend the rest of the afternoon playing with her. Monday is our 'home' day. Aside from my weekly doctor appointment Monday morning, we stay home and play. I do laundry and the necessary house type things. And we play. Wednesday morning is Bible study and then outside errands or just more play time. See the theme? play. Friday is ballet in the morning and then either play date with a few people or 'coffee club' with the ladies from my church. Which involves E playing with other kiddos and me having some adult time. It's a win, win situation.

I suppose I could do things in the evening, but from about 4pm on, I am done. There are a lot of things that I can think of that are worse than having a condition that makes you unbelievably tired, so I don't mean to complain. But I am unbelievably tired. It is often a struggle to keep my eyes open in the evenings through dinner. Funny to watch? Yes. Effective for doing craft projects? No.

And there are only 10 weeks left.

So what to do? Recently I have decided to let it go. t doesn't matter what I do or don't make, or sew, or paint. Sure pinterest is awesome, but every person on that site is not living my life. I have a specific set of circumstances as does everyone else. We are all required to live within our set our boundaries. So if I choose to play with E and clean and do laundry during the hours in which I can function like a normal human, then so be it. Projects will have to wait, which is completely ok.

Little Lowri will have this as her nursery bedding; a wonderful hand-me-down from big sister E.



And she will have these little owls on her couch. Sure I may have wanted to hand make a pair, but these store bought ones are just great.



And even though I am not in to matching all the time, big sister Eleri's bed looks pretty much like this (minus the ruffly bedskirt) and I think it's great that their rooms basically match.



Eleri may have said yesterday that she was not sharing her bathtub, toy box or any of her toys will Lowri, but by golly, they can share an awesome bedding pattern!

There it is folks. No more pinterest for me. The vast majority of Lowri's nursery will be store bought or hand-me-downs from E. I am finally ok with that. Which allows me to devote the next 10 weeks to things like playing with eleri and hanging pictures. Yes, it is really that important to hang those pictures!

go read this

My dear friend Devi posted THIS on her blog today. The links she provides to the articles themselves are interesting and worth a read. Not worth a read because I support their arguments, but should be read because notable academics in the world are actually presenting these ideas.

So follow the link to her blog, and the stories mentioned, and think about what is being said. Very concerning.