I didn’t realise just how bad the situation was until yesterday. But it really hit home, literally. Since I have begun working in the city, the need to wear fancy office clothes is not a question, it’s a must. I have to dress up everyday. I mean come on, I campaigned at Bank of America that we should be allowed to wear sandals so clearly I am not fancy. But still, it’s now a necessity and I am not used to it; so much so that it makes me slightly uncomfortable and I fidget a lot. And as a result I have picked up a nasty habit. I have started looking in everything at my reflection. Not in a 'boy I look good, check me out' kind of way, but more a 'do I match?' kind of way.
Tube windows, train doors, office building with reflective windows, and of course mirrors. Just a quick peak to make sure I still look 'London-y' But lately it has been becoming annoying. I don’t remember when I was so concerned with appearances. Well aside from High School, and lets face it, its high school people....everyone is obsessed with appearances! Even those who say they don’t care, really do....but I digress. The point is, somewhere along the line I became really concerned with how I looked and took nearly every chance I had to check myself out, making sure I was still presentable and girly. (sigh, yes girly...I have to be girly all the time)
But, I didn’t realise just how bad it had become. Yesterday, as I got off the train, I turned to look in the window of the platform station. I am coming home from work, just to change into comfortable clothes, so it shouldn’t even matter! But I still looked, only for about 10 seconds, but that was 10 seconds too long. I walked straight into a pole! Yup, right smack into it! Nothing smooth or 'London-y' about that!! I got a few snickers, some outright laughs and a few offers of help. But let’s face it, I was looking at my reflection and ran into a pole! How sad is that.
Pardon the pun, but it really 'hit' home. There is a reason that the Bible says God looks at what is inside. If I would focus my energy not on my skirt and hair, but instead the word of God, think of the shine my insides would have! There is a show on TV here called How to Look Good Naked. Gok, the presenter, always focuses on famous women who have confidence. He always says that walking into a room, regardless or height, weight or outfit, if you walk with confidence and a strong inner spirit that makes all the difference. And it does.
"Shine like stars in the universe" and "a light on a hill cannot be hidden" It shouldn't be about the outward, but the inward appearance. It took smashing my face into pole at a crowded train station to remind me that Jesus looks at my heart. He cares not what I look like, but that my mind and spirit are focused on shining HIS light brightly for the world to see. With that inward light shinning so brightly, then the outward appearance will follow and I will look like a star without even trying! (and without looking at my reflection all the time!)