gotta love the nhs

today big e is 12 weeks old. (12 weeks! ahh! 12 weeks!!) so off we went to the doctor to get her 3 month immunizations. its a fairly routine procedure so no problems, right? you would think. but with the NHS apparently everything is an issue. here is what happened...if you can even believe it.

after a 20 minute wait at the reception desk, i finally get up there and say "i am here for my daughters 3 month shots" i tell her the name and she corrects me about the pronunciation of my daughters name. MY daughter. i am told that you dont say it a-lar-y. that is incorrect. if i want to say it that way then i need to spell it a different way. seriously? is the receptionist telling me how to say my daughters name? once we get over the 5 minute argument about pronunciation, i go back to the nurses room to wait for her shots.

the nurse comes in and tells me what shots they are giving the baby. they are the wrong shots. i tell the nurse she has already had those shots; she got them when she was 2 months old. now she needs her 3 months shots. "no she has not had any shots before. its not in the computer" ok. well i dont really care what the computer says, i was there. i heard my baby scream. she cried. i cried. i KNOW she had shots at 2 months. "well i cant find record of that here..." so i pull out the RED BOOK. oh, the book. the red book is something they give you at the hospital right after you give birth. esentaially it is a tiny book of medical records from birth to 6. you are suppose to carry it with you everywhere. thats right, i have the only definitive health record of my daughter, in my purse, all the time. (i find that a bit strange) the nhs does not have a general computer system so if, for example, you have to go to the hospital, the red book has record of what the nhs has done previously. and doctors have pretty poor records, so the red book has an accurate account of everything. so i pull out the red book, hand it to the nurse who says "oh, well she has already had her 2 month shots. I will give her the 3 months set" really...isnt that what i just said? so out comes the needle and into my baby's cute chubby leg. oh, the scream.

the nurse pulls the needle away and offers to cotton ball or band aid, nothing. she is bleeding but the nurse just pulls out another needle and tells me to turn the baby around. i ask for a band aid so she doesnt bleed everywhere and after a "humph" and an eye roll, the nurse puts down the open needle on the counter and hands me a band aid. then she picks up the open needle off the counter and tries to put it in the baby! WHAT!!! no way is that needle going into my child's leg! "umm, that needle was on the counter. its not sterile anymore" isnt that obvious? "oh, its fine" she says. Um NO. its NOT fine. so after i make her open another needle (more eye rolling and humrph noises) she again offers no cotton ball, no band aid and instead sits down to write in the red book. "can i please have a band aid before you sit down to write?" i was so annoyed. after yet another eye roll, she got me a band aid and put it on eleri's leg. with the sticky bit right over where she got the shot. give me the damn band aid and i will put it on properly if you aren't even going to watch what you are doing. ok, so i didnt say that last bit, but i wanted to.

finally it was over. i was trying to dress a half naked, screaming baby in my lap and big e decided to throw up. all over. i asked the nurse if there were paper towels anywhere. "yeah, over there by the wall" nurse who is doing nothing and has nothing in her hands and me who has a half naked screaming baby. sweet, i will just juggle the baby and walk across the room and do it myself. thanks for all your help, you devil woman.

on my way out whilst trying to set up an appointment for next months shots, i again had to argue with the receptionist about my daughters name. are you kidding me? man, you gotta love the nhs. (read: despise with a hatred that burns brighter than the sun)