Dear News Media,
I hate you. You are a sell out. I know, I know, its seems a bit harsh but its the truth. I don’t expect you to fully understand that statement as nothing you seem to expel is actually the truth. Most people take everything you say or write as the God's honest, no denying, very much a fact, truth. Sadly, I do not. There used to be a few that channels of yours that I could watch without wanting to pluck my eyes out, or a few newspapers I could read without wanting to slam my head into a wall. That number is decreasing dramatically as we speak. Fox, CNN, BBC, Sky, The New York Times, The Mail (on Sunday, cause that is the only time I buy) and especially the Metro and the London Paper. Technically those last two don’t really count because they are more morning tabloid trash with only a bit of readable, valid news. It’s amazing to me that you get away with it. Where are the indigent consumers who want the truth?
I don’t know where everyone else is, but I am here, and I am annoyed. Annoyed doesn’t seem strong enough. I am incensed, hacked off, frustrated, irate, irritated, exasperated and (my favourite) cheesed off! That’s right, I have had it with your bitter, negative diatribe of the world. Whether its the economy crashing or Britney Spears gaining a few pounds (gasp!) I. can. not. handle. it. This must stop and it must stop now!
I often think that the current economic crisis is your fault. Perhaps I shouldn’t put all the blame onto you. I say 60/40, no 70/30... at least 70/30 your fault to actual fiscal problems. There is always drama with you. It seems like no one has ever mentioned it before but no one likes a drama queen! Every ebb and flow of society, whether it’s a footballer salary or a credit crunch doesn’t need to be reported with such ghastly exaggerated detail. And on that note, why do you insist on coming up with those annoyingly clever little names for everything? Credit Crunch, High Street Hanging, Bail-Out Bill....have you ever thought that it is those cutesy little names that make the problem seem more evident, more real and hence more lingering? Not to mention they are annoying. Why cant you just call it an economic change, a shift in money interests... I hold you responsible for the crashing of the stock market and the folding of the banks.
Ok, I realise there is actually a real economic problem and you, as the media, do have some what of a responsibility to relay information to the public. But couldn’t it be in a more realistic, less tainted, dramatic way? Everyone has an opinion, but what happened to unbiased journalism? What happened to the plain and simple truth? Sadly, I feel you have strayed from your roots. you have sold out. Your papers and T.V. channels seem to be more about pomp and circumstance rather than hard facts; news as reality T.V. rather than an accurate portrayal of real life. Its sad because its all we have. You seem much more concerned with entertainment and the making a buck than with actually telling the public the news! I thought that is what you were suppose to be about?! News! No way around it. You are a sell out.
My indigent letter to you will not change a thing. No matter how much I personify you, you are still a giant, blood sucking, cut throat, money minded, corporate organisation. Nothing me, as the little man, has to say will make a difference. But just so you know, when I win the £192 million up in the lottery, I will buy one of you, maybe Sky or Fox. And I will change you. I will go back to real journalism; slowly I will invade your corrupt and annoyingly dramatic organisations until I have infiltrated all of you like a deadly virus. I will report things openly, plainly and truthfully. Whether they realise it now or not, the world will welcome the change. And I will be glad to finally be rid of you, you lying media fear-mongerer.