a time i really wish i had a video camera

On my way to the post office about 20 minutes ago, i witnessed something fantastically pathetic. it was so wonderfully wrong that i really wished someone was there with me to experience the moment. or i wished at least i had a video camera so i could share the moment with you all. but alas, since i had neither a mate nor a camera, my wordy explanation will have to suffice.

There was a family of 3, mom, daughter and son, walking down the high street. the mom was hideously overweight, smoking, with a can of Stella in her hand. she had a cane in the other as she was so large it was a struggle for her to walk. The son was about 15 or 16, a shiny gold and silver button up jacket, a baseball hat with a straight bill kind of crocked off to one side and baggy sweat pants. and by baggy i mean 7 sizes too big and constantly falling down. The girl was about 16 or 17, red eyed and giving off the look of someone strung out on crack. She too was smoking, using the 'F' word quite a lot and well, let’s just say for it being 3 degrees outside she was lacking quite a bit of clothing on her chest and stomach areas. Got the image? classy family.

As they were walking, a fight ensued. I couldn’t really make out words, as most of what seemed to be said consisted of "you f---ing b---h" and "i hate you, you f---ing...." you get the idea. but these are teenagers! with their mother! yelling as they walk down the middle of a crowded street. Finally the mother stops walking and shouts loud enough for anyone within a two mile radius to hear "I am not taking one more step until you two stop fighting" in my opinion not necessarily something that should need to be said to a 16 and 17 year old, but hey. They were obviously not the typical family. The best part was the response of the kids. It went something like this...

boy: she started it. she said stuff first
girl: na uh... he did. he started. it wasn’t me.
boy: you’re stupid. it was you.
girl: no you’re more stupider (really, more stupider)

Insert lots of F bombs and that’s pretty much the conversation. Really? I almost burst out laughing. But as i was now about even with them on the street, i figured i should bite my lip and keep walking. keep walking past the two toddlers masquerading as teenagers that is.

I am not sure if the mom ever started walking again. at the rate they were arguing, i think they would have been there all day. I really wish i could have recorded the whole thing, cause let me tell you. it was hilarious.