space and a giant library

I have been looking at 2 bedroom flats on the off chance that there will be a bargain and something wonderfully amazing, yet cheap, will magically appear. nothing has and I seriously doubt that anything will. honestly though? i have no desire to move. I really want more space but do not want the hassle that comes along with a move. changing your address, letting family and friends know, letting every company you use know, changing phone lines, internet providers, t.v., figuring out a new way to get to work, walk to town, an entire new time frame for everything, not to mention the packing and unpacking and cleaning. really i just cant be bothered. especially since I know it wont be permanent. I just have no desire to move until its to a house we are buying and will stay in for a while.

But as a result of not wanting to move and having small space, i need to get rid of stuff. I have such a hard time with that though, because what do you get rid of really? books? decorations? picture frames? clothes? scarves? It is such a challenge to me deciding what I really do and dont need. 'need' is probably too strong of a word, because i venture to say that all the things in question are all things that i could do without. i probably dont need any of it. i mean really, do you need a picture frame to live? no, i just want it. But I could have a lot more space if there was less 'stuff' Perhaps I really need to go through my flat with the mindset of "if it has not been used within 4 months then get rid of it" But alas, I am such a pack rat that I really struggle when it comes to giving things away. Maybe it is just me, but i always have the same conversation with myself:

"you never use/wear/carry/read this. It is time to get rid of it" So I put said article in give-away-bag and walk away. but then....

"wait...I may use/wear/carry/read this particular article if I had a fancy dress party to go to, or if it was warmer/colder or if I was really bored, or when i decide to not watch t.v. again, or if I gain/lose some weight" So I proceed to take said item out of the give-away-bag and put it back in the house.

I will go through this process with nearly everything. The only reason I ever manage to give anything away is because after an item has been through this "let it go, no i still need it" process 3 or 4 times, then I will finally let it go. seriously? why not just let it go the first time? Or better yet, why not buy it in the first place. But that is an entirely different problem all its own. What it all comes down to is this: I will have nearly enough space if i could convince myself to get rid of the stuff that i dont use/wear/carry/read no matter how good my excuse is for why I still need it!

I find books particularly difficult to get rid of though. I aspire to have a huge library in my home one day. the kind of library that 'the beast' has in Beauty and the Beast. In case you have never seen that classic Disney cartoon; the library stretches from floor to ceiling in the tallest room I have ever seen. Easily a 4 story library with a giant ladder that swings around the room on wheels. That is the kind of library I want. How can I possibly have enough books t fill such a room if I get rid of them? I have started Eli's library though. Granted he wont be reading independently for quite a while, but i have already started reading to him. so far Eli has the complete set of Beatrix Potter classics in hardback, which are my favourite, and 6 other children’s books. The Hungry Caterpillar, Guess How Much I Love You, Edwina: The dinosaur who didn’t know she was extinct, a Noah story with finger puppets, and two Oliver Jeffers classics: How to Catch a Star and Lost and Found I love his little collection! such a good start.

Speaking of love, I must dwell upon Oliver Jeffers for a moment. He is fantastic. I really love his writing and illustrations. How to Catch a Star is such a fantastic children's book. Go to his website and check it out. even if you have no children and no desire to buy children’s books. he also does adult illustration and art. He is a unique fellow and worth a look. I highly recommend it. But go with an open mind. It is not your typical "ok look a pretty mountain landscape" Its a bit more, well, shall we say "off" than that? But go and look. you wont be disappointed. And as a bit of direction, to get to the children’s book, click on the picture book link.

I feel like there are additional thoughts...but nothing else is coming in a clear and concise manner. Plus I was thinking today, who really wants to know about my cleaning habits and Eli's book collection? Are those things even relevant? Probably not, but that is what has come out at the moment. I have a really strong desire to write about a particular protest that took place last week...but am still very angry and have yet been able to write about it without lots of cursing coming out. so that will have to wait.