feeling used...

everyone has at least one of those friends who always seems to take advantage. they always expect to be invited everywhere, but never invite you along to anything. they always want to tell you about their day, their life, their friends, but never want to hear anything about you. they pretend to be understanding, interested, even someone to go to for advice. but really they are none of the above. in fact, they really just want to milk you for all you have to offer....and then leave you hanging on, wondering what happened to your friendship.

I have a friend who is all of the above, albeit in less overt ways. Said friend is uninviting, unforgiving, uninterested and seemingly wanting no part of my life. I took a big step out to help said friend along, and i feel walked on and disgarded as a result. its unfortunate that i trusted so much, only to be shot down and left in the dark. i voched for friend, i endured a lot from others for friend, i sacraficed for friend. and i wanted to becasue said friend was important to me. it hurts and it makes me sad to think that this is where it is now. worst yet, friend probably doesnt even realize that they have done anything. that is how self absorbed they can be. too caught up in what they are doing to even remember the feelings of someone once considered a best friend.

there is no point to dwelling on said friend and lack of genuine friendship. writing about it helps to clear it up a bit. regardless of how i have been treated in the past, all said friend would have to do to make it all go away would be to give me a ring, a mention, a recognition as someone of value. not just a stepping stone to get them to a better place. friends are helpful; friends can be a great part in getting each other on to bigger and better things. but not when one simply stomps on the other to get their own footing. sad. painful. yet for some reason, i dont want to let go...