his armband proved....

the premiership is a funny thing. i dont want to assume that just because a good portion of those who read this blog are american females that the english premier league is not understood- but just in case i will explain.

the premier league is one of the biggest football leagues in the world. ah, soccer leagues i should specify. it is arguably the most recognizable with teams like Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea. even if you are not the sporty type of person, chances are you have heard of a team that plays in the premier league. and it is not only Brits that play in the permier league. people from all over the world, even some americans, count themselves as players in the most competitive sporting league in the world.

we are liverpool supporters. Well, i say we, but my first choice is Burnley. as they were relegated last year to the Championship I support liverpool until we make it back up. that and QPR on the side. but i hate chelsea. i know you are not suppose to hate anything, but chelsea fans are the worst. seriously. it is hard to explain english football fans to people who have not lived in the UK. it is not just a game. it is so much more, sometimes life and death. literally. and chelsea are the worst. or at least the worst to me. for nearly two years I commuted right through chelsea. (the team is named after the area they are located in London: Chelsea. more background for you there) Chelsea is one of the wealthiest areas of the city. but the fans are awful. awful, awful, awful. after a long day at work the last thing i wanted to do was be forced to stand shoulder to shoulder with large, smelly, drunk men chanting and singing about chelsea. boo chelsea.

but back to liverpool.

liverpool has their fair share of hooligans as well. but since i am far, far away from liverpool i dont see any of them. its much easier to support them peacefully. and one of Liverpool's players whom i enjoy supporting is Fernado Torres. He is a young Spanish footballer who transfered from a differnt club back in 2007.

the thing with football fans is they like to sing. come to think of it everyone in the UK likes to sing at sporting events- not just football. but i digress. the point is the liverpool fans came up with a song about Torres. click on the link and watch the full minute and twenty seconds. not only do you hear the song, but you see how crazy fans are.

we have sung Eleri the Fernando Torres song since birth. the first few months it was only that song and 'jesus loves me' that calmed her down. sad? perhaps. but true. all you have to do is start off with 'his armband proved he was a red...torres, torres' and she giggles away.

however, the other thing about the premiership that i haven't explained is the 'transfer window'. they can trade/buy players only certain times a year. off season in the summer and january. just the month of january. tonight at midnight the transfer window closes.

and Torres is in talks to leave Liverpool

and go to Chelsea.

remember my feelings about Chelsea? yeah, they suck.

i am hoping that it is all a big rumor and Torres was really not on Roman Abramovich's private helicopter being airlifted to chelsea tonight. but chances are he was. and chances are liverpool will sell him for the £50 million chelsea has offered. that was not a typo- fifty million pounds. here i am struggling to buy a plane ticket home and Torres is on just over £110,000 a week payment and a club wants to buy him for £50. perspective eh? but thats another story entirely.

the point of my 10 pages about football is that Torres is more than likely leaving liverpool and Eleri will be out of a song. this is a big deal in Kristina's world. I love the Torres song almost as much as Ele. and i am sad that today could be the last day we can sing it. yes, i am preparing myself to mourn the loss of a song. here's hoping that i will awake tomorrow with the news that Fernando is at Anfield to stay.

"his armband proved that he red, Torres, Torres....."

*edit: i have been told the link doenst work. so go to you tube and type in: Fernando Torres song on the Kop. ok, ok I know it requires some effort, but its a fun video. go do it. *

£1872

it was 2006. i was about to finish my masters thesis and graduate. i was bored at work one day and decided that a good use of my time would be to look for cheap plane tickets. you know, just in case. i found a flight to london for around $250. it was the same day as my graduation ceremony. i thought about it and decided 2 seconds later that i would much rather be in london that in arkansas. and i impulsively bought the ticket.

now, 5 years later, i find myself looking for tickets again. granted the circumstances are vastly different. i am no longer single wanting to travel around the world (although i do still want to travel) i am searching for tickets for a family of three.

£1872 is the cheapest i can find from london to tulsa.

£1872.

if i was the cussing type here is where i would insert a long list of profanities at the outrages cost of air travel. what in the world!?! how do they expect people to afford that? nearly two thousand pounds!? sure, because most young families keep that kind of cash laying around. no problem.

but we have to go. there is no option. we have spent too much time, effort and money on rhys' visa to not immigrate. we are making the wise choice in coming to america. now if only there was an affordable way to get there. i realise the cost of living has increased since 2006. the cost of everything has increased. but seriously?! £1872. it is simply not affordable.

stupid cost of fuel and taxes.

so if any of you have a private jet you would like to share with us, that would be awesome. or if anyone has some spare tickets around we are more than willing to take those of your hands. in the meantime, my entire day today will be spent looking for cheap airfare. super fun. i imagine it will be a long, boring and costly day. good thing little e can occupy herself!


*edit: thanks for the comments/emails so far. to clarify: we want to travel some time mid to late April. and return to the UK sometime in September. destination can be either tulsa or dallas. Our flights have to originate from London (any airport is fine) and the first half of our trip- london to the US- eleri will be free as an under two. however the return leg -US to london- she will be over two and have to pay for a fare. awful i know. so i wont have any luck booking through a cheaptickets.com website. it has to be direct with the airline so they can arrange for the funny pricing. so there you go. those of you that enjoy looking for tickets and want to have a go- go! thanks. all the help is appreciated.

18 months

first of all, thank you everyone for all your comments and emails. I really appreciate the input. it was about half and half. part of me was hoping that everyone who had a response would say the exact same thing and our decision would be made for us. i suppose that is not realistic, but a girl can dream eh? so whilst we are still mulling over all of our choices, i will give you a 'my baby is awesome' post.

the little one is 18 months old.

she is awesome. seriously.

so much has changed in the last few months. i have a proper toddler following me around all day. she wants to do everything that i do. and whilst she is not always successful (i.e. running on the treadmill) it is adorable to watch her learn new things and explore.

here are some of the things that she loves to do:
-wash herself in the bath
-comb her own hair (we have some awesome hairstyles, let me tell you)
-take off her clothes as bath time
-attempt to put on her shirt in the mornings
-feed herself everything
-really trying to drink out of a regular cup. we have some spills, ok quite a few spills, but she has to learn sometime right?
-stack blocks. 7 blocks is the highest she has stacked before she knocks them over. i think that is pretty good though.
-count on her hand. she can count to 3. if you say four and five she holds up her entire hand for both. we dont quite have the 4 fingers down yet.
-read books. she loves books. and our 'your baby can read' flashcards. yeah, flashcards. (i know i am a dork)
-laugh. she just breaks out in giggles and if people respond with a smile or a laugh, she just laughs even harder. it is one of my favourite things to see.
-e loves her daddy. as soon as rhys walks through the door, nothing else exists. just rhys.
-run. i have never known a baby to run as much as eleri. sometimes she runs so fast that her feet get ahead of her and she falls over (hard not to laugh, it is so cute) but she just gets back up and carries on. run, run, run.
-other kids. little e is overly friendly. she loves her cousin, she loves our neighbours little boy, and she loves each and every little kid she comes across at welsh school or playgroup. she wants to pat them or hug them, even tries to give kisses. not every other parent appreciates the kisses, but e doesnt care. she is so happy and so friendly. very outgoing.
-hide and seek. she cant get enough, which is not always a good thing as you will see later on.

we are still not very far on the talking front. the past few weeks she has attempted to say whatever words we are saying. but they are not clear and it is not all the time. she has about 20 words that she says and out of those 20 about 12 would be clear to a stranger. meaning someone other than her mom who understands what it is that she wants.

but talking and vocabulary are two very different things i have finding out. eleri has a massive vocabulary. she understands everything that we say to her. she just chooses to not speak back. for example, she knows almost the entire alphabet. she will correctly identify and point to most letters when you ask her what they are. and they do not have to be in the correct order to do so. she will do the same with numbers 1-10. she wont say any numbers beyond 3, but she knows them up to 10. and the same with colours. she will only say blue clearly, but she knows the other colours, and will point when asked. as far as words that she understands...well, let me tell you.

i was never a fan of 'baby talk.' when i was growing up, i always remember my mom telling us the correct word for everything. it was never a baba, it was a baby. it was never a bow wow, it was a dog. in talking to her (because she knows everything) she explained that as we got older she would use proper sentences, not the shorten baby ones. for instance, instead of saying "baby go bye bye" it was "would eleri like to say bye bye?" or "time to say goodbye" something that got the point across without dumbing it down.

*disclaimer: if you are offended because you like baby talk, or shorten sentences- sorry. to each their own. you can do whatever you want with you baby. everyone is different. you can say/do whatever you feel is best- no judgement here.*

since eleri was born, we spoke to her the same way that we would speak to anyone. and now, at 18 months the amount of words that she understands is incredible. not just big and small, but gigantic and tiny. not hot and cold, but freezing and boiling hot. you get the idea. any adjective or descriptive word that i would use she understands. and she is responsive to the pronoun use as well. as we are in the toddler stage now, i am glad that she can understand and respond to regular adult conversation. it just makes it easier for us.

i wish i could remember every little things she does. all the incredible faces she makes. all the little ways that she brightens up our lives. the past 18 months have been the most full months of my life. i wouldnt trade a second of it for anything. cliche, i know. but it is the truth. having a baby puts everything into perspective. the good, the bad, the joyous, the fearful- it all becomes more real with a child.

like yesterday. i thought i had lost eleri. we were at tesco (UK version of walmart) and e was helping me get some long sleeve white t-shirts for her. i looked down for literally 30 seconds and when i looked up, she was gone. the panic that instantly set in was intense. i left the stroller, purse and all, and ran up and down the isles shouting and frantically looking around. store people were helping, random shoppers were helping, but eleri was no where to be seen. after what seemed like hours, i got my phone out to call rhys- to explain that i had lost our daughter- when i heard a little giggle. the rack of t-shirts that we had been looking at was right next to the dressing room. e had run into the dressing room, slipped under a door and was hiding. she thought it was a game. i did not. all in all the ordeal lasted about 10 minutes. but it took about 10 years off of my life. the panic of losing a child, there are no words. i couldnt imagine if she was actually gone. yeah, fear becomes real when a litte one enters the picture.

eleri is crazy, but in such a good way. i never knew the toddler stage could be this much fun (and scary). we have yet to encounter any massive fits or real defiance yet- perhaps that is coming the closer we get to two- but for now i will enjoy my awesome baby and the laughs that we share everyday. being a mom is great.

and my 18 month old is incredible!

kafhkjafndskjfnkajdsdfja

that is how i feel: bklafhidhnafidsfiadsnk

I am sick. Eleri is sick. Rhys is sick. blah.

I have a lot of things I want to write about. For example, eleri was 18 months old yesterday. or the 'fancy dress' (costume) party we went to a few weekends ago where ele was dressed as a spanish flamenco dancer. believe me when i say the pictures are awesome! I have moving thoughts, life thoughts and a post about a great friend. but whenever i try to make a coherent thought 'kajhfkjdbnafkjdhskjfa' comes out instead.

so this is it for me today. being sick is not cool. i could live without the vomit and runny noses. blech!

i will leave you all with this question: if you had the choice- and you can only choose between these two- would you live in Boston, MA or Fayetteville, AR? and why. we are facing some tough decisions so i thought i would throw it out to the blogging world. i need some help. input is appreciated.

weekend away....

this weekend rhys and i are going away. all weekend!! woo hoo! we leave tomorrow afternoon for Coventry to visit some of rhys' friends from uni. 17 people in total, so it will be quite a full house and a busy weekend. i am really looking forward to some laughs and some adult time. (little e is staying with the grandparents.)

ah, no children and a pint without an early morning wake up call. nice. cause even parents need a break!

so i will leave you with these pictures of little e and her new favourite toys: happy land people and stacking blocks.

and this one too, because it is just too cute!

enjoy your weekends!

how do you hire a hit man?

i am not a vengeful person. in fact, i am pretty forgiving. it takes a lot to get me really mad and even then i never stay mad for very long.

but today i am mad. and sad. and hurt. and nearly broken- at my wits end about this particular situation.

i don't want to share a huge amount of details. in fact, i don't want to share any. but i will say this......

please pray for me and my family.

my family are good people. the best. They are loving, generous, giving, compassionate, super intelligent, kind, funny and really just amazing. and at the moment they are being attacked. some not so nice people are trying to do some not very nice things. hence the hit man.

the human side of me wants to hire a hit man to give the nasty people exactly what they deserve. ok, so i don't really want to do that. but i do want to take the no so nice people by their shoulders, give them a good shake and say "what the hell are you doing? you are lying, you are being deceitful. you are wrong" but i doubt it would do any good. nasty people are like that, unfazed by the truth. worst part? the nasty people know they are wrong and doing it anyway.

again, the hit man comes into play.

i wish there was something i can do. but i am trusting God. He has a plan. He is in control. and whilst i don't understand everything, i do understand that those who seek to do evil will never triumph in the end.

but in the meantime, please pray. pray for God's protection, provision, wisdom, understanding, my family are awesome and deserve only the best. please pray that that is exactly what they get- the best.

mark one of the list

(two posts in a day, crazy i know.)

one of the things that i wanted to do this year was get a new haricut- something different from the long and straight i have had my whole life. well...i say whole life. there was that one time in university when i decided to shave my head. i chickened out at the last minute but not before i had cut my elbow length hair to just above my ears. not a good look for me. at all. it is safe to say that with the 40 pounds i gained that year, my freshamn year of university was not my most attractive.

anyway.

i decided today was the day for a new look. so off i went.

here i am before (seriously, how long is that hair? crazy!)

and here is me after.

i cut 4 inches off the length and have 3 layers of layers. so quite a big change for me. but i kind of like it. its a bit different, but hey that is what 2011 is all about. a new, different year to 2010!!

two turn-tables and a microphone

i recently came across THIS article about the recent, and future, advance in technology. just in case you dont follow the link read the piece for yourself (which i strongly encourage you to do) the basic premise is this: kids born in 2011 will have no idea what travel agents, video tapes (VHS), separation of work and home, books, magazines, newspapers, movie rental stores, watches, paper maps, wired phones, CD's, hand written letters, the yellow/white pages, long distance, dial up Internet, encyclopedias and so forth...

the list goes on and on mentioning quite a few things that i grew up using, things i still use today and a few things that i have not used in years. but the more i read, the sadder i felt. there is something nostalgic- romantic- about things of the past. to think that there is a chance eleri would not feel the excitement of receiving a letter in the post or experience the boring, mundane task of flipping through an encyclopedia for research. while the chances are strong that hand written letters will never truly 'go out of style' it is a real possibility that e will never use an encyclopedia. does this make anyone else sad? just me?

i remember the giant set of Encyclopedia Britannica that my parents had in our living room. I had to do a science project when i was a sophomore in high school and i used quite a few of those books for my research. that was in 1997. to me it doesn't seem that long ago but let me put it in a bit of perspective. when i was writing that science report, google did not exist! yeah, now it seems like a loooong time ago. how many times a day do we use google? apparently enough that 'googling' is a verb which is now common vernacular.

because i am a bit of a nerd e WILL know what an 8 track tape player is because i have one that still works. and a record player as well. and while i am discussing old technology that i still use, my dvd player is a dvd AND vhs tape player combo. yes, i still watch VHS tapes. i watched one about two weeks ago. perhaps that is what is really sad....

and what about the movie store? i dont remember the last time i went to a blockbuster. but when i was growing up we had family movie night. we would all go to the local blockbuster and pick out a movie to watch. i used to love walking up and down the isle, checking out everything that was there. the giant wall of 'new releases' was always the busiest. e will probably never step foot in a blockbuster, or the like. it is cheaper to buy a dvd at walmart than it used to be to rent a movie. i can understand why they are going out of business. but it is still a little disappointing.

it also makes me sad that people estimate 'words written on paper' will not longer exist in the near future. i love books. i love newspapers. i used to read the newspaper every single day when i was commuting to work. and on average i buy at least one book a week. i love to read. i love holding a book in my hands, turning the pages, highlighting quotes, making pages. you cant do that with a kindle, or iPad, or whatever the next bit of electronic reading they will come out with. and what about newspapers? the thought of those going by the waste side makes me a little sick. i had dreams of being a journalist when i was younger- working for the New York Times. i am not saying eleri will want to be a writer, but is that even a dream she could have? will newspapers even exist? realistically i think it would take quite a bit to get newspapers out of print. what about the commuters? or will technology advance so much that there will soon be internet access on the tube/subway and people will read the news on their ipad's?

sad. really sad.


whilst we are on the subject of sad, some of 'things' that will disappear are actually quite alarming. the line of home and work is blurred enough as it is. i realise we are not living in a traumatic post- WWII society like the 50's where people were fiercely protective of family and values. but was that so bad? people fight against the 9 to 5, not wanting the typical job. but look at it this way. you went to work. did your job. came home at 5 when the bell rang. and that was that. finished for the day. no emails on the blackberry or text messages to respond to. no 'face time' on the iPhone for a late night meeting. when the working professionals came home, they were home. and to me, that sounds nice. people say they work hard to play hard. but how many working professional do you know that really play hard? and with only 8 to 10 vacation days a year, can you really play hard? seems a bit skewed to me. and with technology increasing, can you imagine what work communication will be like when eleri has her first job?


another point the article highlights is that 'talking to one person at a time' will be a foreign concept to our little ones. how true is that? rhys and i had a discussion about this very point. he said that it was mainly teenagers who texted whilst they were talking to someone else. i agree, it does seem to be the younger population. but those are the people who are growing up to govern the next generation. if they feel it is ok to do that now, and continue to do so as they are older, will that behaviour become the new 'norm'? perhaps.

it is interesting to look back on the past 100 years or so and see what advances have been made. some have been incredible, life saving developments. some have been time saving. but some have been destructive. take a cultural history of the last 100 years and see what values, both family and moral, have slowly faded into the past. now ask yourself how much of that has to do with our advances in modern technology.

I have a risk of sounding hypocritical, as i type on my blog page using my nice laptop, but there is something to be said about the past- about the way things used to be done. i do not want to advocate living in the past. and by no means will i start following an amish lifestyle, turning my back on all technology and begin to commute only by horse and cart. i appreciate technology, but i also want to stay aware that there are some things we still need to hold on to. blockbusters may be going to the waste side, so perhaps family movie night means going to walmart, picking out a movie and buying it instead of renting it. same price, why not eh? i want to teach eleri the value of relationships, of correspondence. so that when she is older, she will appreciate the time it takes to write a letter, so she will not take for granted face to face meetings, so she can be fully present in whatever situations she is in. (not texting away...)

and yes, i will continue to listen to my CD's when i drive the car, but i will also share my love of old music and record players with my kids. my beatle albums need some play too! i am lucky that rhys feels the same way. as he DJ's (occasionally) he has record player turn-tables. (imagine will smith in fresh prince: one hand on the headphone, one hand skipping the record and that is rhys.... ) i like that we will keep little pieces of the past as current in our home. it may be nostalgic, but i hope that i can raise my children to appreciate all aspects of life. past, present and what is yet to come.

boo sunday dinner

warning: this is a superficial, materialist post. if you do not like those sort of things then what you should do is stop reading now. what you should not do is keep reading and then send me an email about how children are dying in africa and i should be grateful for my life.

today on the way home from church i burst into tears. at first a few rolled quietly down my cheeks. then a few more in quick succession. soon they were coming at waterfall speed and there was nothing i could do to stop it. and it all started because i didnt want to eat 'sunday dinner'

we dont so 'sunday roast dinner' in america the way they do in Britain. it is more or less a thanksgiving meal every sunday. every. single. sunday. big roast beef/chicken/lamb, several different types of potatoes, veggies, bread, and loads of thick, brown gravy. and while this will come as a shock to practically every british person i know, i do not like sunday dinner. i just dont. i want olive garden on a sunday. all you can eat soup and salad. or a nice trip to On the Border. heck, even home made fajitas would be fantastic. but not another dinner. However, everyone in the williams household loves sunday dinner (rhys especially) and my mother-in-law slaves away in the kitchen all morning and afternoon making the trimmings. enough for two days. so sunday dinner becomes monday dinner. i am starting to tear up just thinking about it. (seriously, its pathetic, i know)

the root of the issue is not actually the fact that i dont like sunday dinner. what the problem is, is that i want to come home to my house. a house where only rhys, eleri and i live. a house where is there no sunday dinner brewing away on the stove. i want my own space. i want my own groceries and i want to plan out my own meals. this is where the "be grateful you have a nice house to live in and someone who wants to cook the majority of your meals for you. why are you even complaining" bit comes in. and i know all of those things. i AM grateful to have a wonderful house to live in and 4 other lovely people to fill the rooms with laughter and conversation. but i am ready for my own home. after 7 months i feel as though i am reaching the end of my rope.

the snow has finally melted now and the sun has been out the last few days. the temperature has risen above freezing and we have ventured out on some walks. my new favourite thing to do is to look at the houses and imagine what is going on inside. if the blinds are open, i glace inside and look at the decorations. not in a creepy peeping tom kind of way, but in a 'i am only walking by' quick glance kind of way. and i dream of their life. then i dream of my future. what will my house be like, how will i decorate, where will it be. and then i get sad, fighting off tears because i know that in a few more steps i will be back at my in-laws house. it is a great house. but it is not mine. 7 people under one roof makes for a lot of chaos.

sometimes i look at friends facebook pictures of read their blogs and instead of coming away excited for their child's birthday or pleased at their new couch, i feel inadequate those are not things that i can do for my kid, or provide for my family. it is torturing myself really. it is even worse when i read the blogs of people i dont know. and i compare my life to theirs (gasp, i know, how awful) but it is awful. i will be 29 this year. there is no stretch of the immagination that will allow me to say i am in my early twenties. i am almost 30. and still struggling with comparing myself to others. i suck.

when i realistically step back and evaluate my life there is not a lot i can complain about. especially in the 4 years i have been married. living in the second most expensive city in the world has inhibited me from having my own house, a yard, space, furniture, a closet, extra toys/clothes and even a place to host my kids birthday parties but it has enabled me to travel with extreme ease. the adventures we have been on, even just around london, have been incredible. i have a lot to be thankful for. a lot.

but today for some reason i can not see any of those things through my tears. i am acutely aware instead of what i am lacking. not love, or belonging, or family. not food and shelter. everything i feel like i am missing out on is material. fleeting. superficial. but i still feel like i am missing out somehow. and today it is making me sad. i know that tomorrow will be better. i know there is a lot to look forward to. heck, in 4 weeks i am going to rome. for a week. uhhh....remind me again why i am crying?

life is funny sometimes. small things become big things. our perspective can so easily be skewed even by the most foolish of things. and i can logically realise that what i am typing is so inconsequential that it is probably not even worth the time it is taking me to type (good thing i type fast!) but it is how i am feeling. and 2011 is a year of honesty in everything. even the blog.

so i can cry about sunday dinner if i want to!



and just for you sarah and stef. but a word of warning. it is pretty gross.

only 4 left

'only 4 left' could mean any number of things.

only 4 months left until i leave the UK

only 4 months until i turn 29

only 4 more teeth until eleri has a mouth full

only 4 more days until i get my new pillow sewing pattern (i know, excitement abounds)

but in this case, the sentence 'only 4 left' refers to my toenails. yes. toenails.

i started november with 10. then i decided to run 78 miles. apparently my toes do not like the repetitive tap against the top of my shoe, mile after mile after mile after mile. first my big toe started to turn colours. but then my pinkie toenail suddenly fell off. then my middle toenail. then the one next to it. on both feet. at the moment i have lost 3 completely, 2 are hanging on with only about 1/3 of a blackish-green bit left and my big toe- the original one to start looking bad- is half gone. the half still sticking around will pull up to reveal a pretty gross underneath. and that leaves 4. nice.

so there you go. i only have four left. something to think about if you want to run lots of miles and then wear sandals. i am pretty darn glad it is not the season for flip flops.

out of the jim jams...

and straight into my running shoes. my poor shoes have been sitting in a dark, lonely corner of the garage for the past 8 weeks. covered in dry, crusty mud the poor shoes have not so much as seen the light of day. last night i pulled them out, did my best to dust them off and hit the ground running.

ok, it was more of a jog. and by jog i mean fast walk. so really it was a regular walk but i moved my arms really quickly so that counts as a fast walk. sad how much fitness one can lose in 8 weeks of no exercise. in my case, it appears as though i have lost every last ounce of any fitness that i had. i went from running a 10K in an average of 50 minutes to running 1K in 10 minutes. that is sad. SAD!

granted i had a major injury and i need to take it slow to fully recover. but i want to jump straight back in to 8 miles a day. obviously that is not going to happen. i am however taking my 'running' seriously again. there is a half marathon in march that i want to run. depending on how the next two weeks of the 'working back into running' training regime i am starting, i may sign myself up!

we shall see. but my mornings and evenings will no longer be spent lounging around in my jim jams. i am back to the running clothes. the running shoes will take back their place of prominence and no longer be stuck in a manky garage. here's to a new year of my running; lets hope i can pick up the pace a bit....

the core.

December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?

last reverb post of the year. i am glad that i decided to 'reverb' last month. it was an interesting way to reflect on the year. i tend to be a fairly reflective person anyway, but it was nice to have specific questions to answer and topics to discuss. with that said, i give you the last reverb post.

the core story of me is jesus. without i am nothing, can do nothing and have nothing. He has given me life and is the reason that i live. He is in control and has a plan. i daily choose to live in that plan. he governs my footsteps and i do my best to follow wherever He leads.

i should be actively sharing that faith in everything that i do. but i dont. i fall short more than i would like to admit. some times the Gospel pours out me. sometimes i intentionally dont speak.

but my goal is to be so focused on jesus, and living for Him, that He flows out of all my words and actions.

and that is the core story of kristina.

thank God it's 2011

seriously. i am thanking the Lord almighty that it is 2011. i have high hopes riding on this year, i am expecting big things. when it was getting close to midnight last night, i was all smiles just waiting to say adios to 2010 and hello! hello! to 2011. i feel better about life already and it has only been the new year for about 12 hours.

as we have had a busy holiday season, i am running a bit behind on my blogging. i still have not done a christmas post, put up any pictures, written an eleri update or finished the last reverb post. but as this is the first day of the new year, i am bypassing all of those things to list my goals/dreams/plans/hopes and aspirations for 2011. i am foregoing the typical 'resolutions' and instead making goals for the year. some are more sweeping and far reaching and some are small and fairly silly. but nonetheless, here is my 2011 life list.


2011 life list
-floss everyday
-collect at least one piece of fabric every month to make my quilt
-doing absolutely everything within my power to be calm, pleasant and peaceful when rhys comes home from work (read: dont immediately word vomit on him the minute he enters the house)
-continue with my current face/skin routine
-drink 64 oz. of water a day
-spend time praying/researching and figure out what i really want to do
-after the above goal is achieved, get a job that i actually enjoy and that i am good at
-research ways to continue with green lifestyle in the US
-run/exercise 4 times a week.
-try something new everyday
-email 'connections' in NWA to get help/ideas/support for our upcoming move
-lose the 10lbs i have gained since November by 9 February. no crash diets- healthy eating and exercise.
-count to 10 before speaking. or 15 before word vomiting on someone
-run the oklahoma city memorial marathon (or half...depending on injury recovery)
-start a tradition with our family for every month. something we do the 3 of us every year in the same month. for example, in april we could go to a zoo. so every april we go to a zoo as a family.
-try a new hair style this year. something other than the long hair/side bangs that i have had basically since i was 12.
-limit my t.v. watching to 2 hours a day. that includes my BBC morning news, baby video time and scrub re-runs etc...
-write someone a letter once a week.
-teach eleri scripture. i want to daily commit to helping the little one memorize scripture.
-budget. and actually stick to it.
-on the back of that, save at least £1000 for eleri in 2011
-take 20 minutes for myself every morning. first thing. just me, my writing, my thoughts and my cup of green tea
-work at becoming as close to debt free as i can.
-paint my nails a crazy, off the wall, never before used colour
-teach eleri something new every week/do something new with eleri every week
-wear a sequined shirt for something
-buy a pair of jeans from top shop before i leave europe
-tell rhys just how much he means to me everyday
-dance with eleri everyday
-practice effective time management
-take a picture once a day of something special
-start family devotions


that is my list as of 1 January 2011. I was debating about whether or not i would allow myself to add things to the list or not after i published it. as i type this out, i have decided that no, i wont add anything. this is it the 2011 life list in its entirety. i have been working on a 'complete life list' and i can always add/take away from that list. but these are my goal/ambitions for 2011.

good bye 2010, hello 2011. its going to be a damn good year.

and the honour goes to......

Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

rhys

i know that saying my husband as the answer is a bit cheesy but it is the truth. there is no other gift, tangible or otherwise, that has touched me so much this year as the unconditional love of my husband. and believe me the unconditional part of that love has really been tested this year.

to say that i have been difficult is putting it mildly. granted it has been a tough year, but that in no way excuses some of my actions. i have been unpleasant, grumpy and often times mean. unfortunately most of that gets directed at rhys when he is in fact the one person who has done nothing wrong.

this year has been full of change. i cant even count the number of posts i have written regarding our changing circumstances. dont worry, i am not about to go into the details yet again. and in the midst of what seems to be constant upheaval, rhys has remained a steady pillar of peace, support and love. he is tremendous. he has been my strength when i didnt feel capable enough to stand on my own. he has been my voice when i was too weak (and meek) to speak. he has been a constant faithful warrior- defending, protecting and providing for our little family.

often times it has seemed as though we were on a roller coaster; up, down and being thrown from side to side. but whatever came our way rhys always managed to handle it with grace and composure. i one the other hand, handled everything badly. think screaming banshee crossed with the hormones of a pregnant lady and then throw in a mental patient- time 5- and you are starting to get the idea. and even with my insane emotions rhys always listened, always cared and never got upset or frustrated with my crazed rantings. the patience he has shown this year has been incredible.

i realise that i just made it seem like i have been one big ball of insane this year. and while i will look back on 2010 and remember quite a few of my crazy moments, i will also remember some amazing ones as well. this year has taught me a lot about the principle of thinking before I speak, weighing my words carefully and not letting the opinions of others govern my actions. and i have my wonderful husband to thank for all of that.

the stability and support he has provided to our little family this year is unmatched. moreover, he has truly proven that he meant was he said on our wedding day. he has cherished, honoured and love me unconditionally through one of the hardest times of my life. he is more than a great father and a great husband. he is the most incredible man i know. the greatest gift i could have been given. ever.