4 January 2012

2011 Reflections, part 2

a few days later than planned, but nonetheless a continuation of the 2011 mini Reverb reflections...

8. Where did you spend money?
uh, everywhere. seriously I cant say that 2011 was 'money well spent' I knew we were leaving the UK so I kind of went insane buying 'British' things so I would have them for our new house in America. What I ended up with is boxes (literally) of stuff that I have no idea what to do with. never buy just for the sake of buying. On a side note, that is one of my goals for 2012, to be aware and buy wisely. But that did not characterize my spending in 2011.

Aside from foolish spending (which was the majority let me tell you) we did have some good expenditures. Rhys and I went to Rome in February. It was heavenly and worth every euro we spent. We also shelled out quite a bit for plane tickets to America in April and then back to the UK in October. Costly, but again worth it. And lets not forget the large sum of money used to purchase our very first home. I couldn't be more thrilled at that use of money. Again, worth every penny. So perhaps 2011 wasn't all foolish spending....or perhaps I am just telling myself that to make it all seem better! ha!

9. When were you most scared?
January through to May. January and February were different kinds of fears. March and April different again, and May all its our kind of fear. But I can never remember another time in my life when I was so fearful and so afraid of life in general. I will spare you all the details because they are gory. But the first half of 2011 was not brilliant for me.

10. What questions did you ask?
When, What and Why. Why did we decide to leave the UK? What will America be like? When are we moving? When do we get our own space? When does this mortgage thing work for us? When do we finally get to be a couple? When do I get to be a mom without parents? Why am I a stay at home mom with NO house to stay at home in? What do we actually want to do? Why are we in Tulsa? When will it feel like home? When are things going to be 'normal' for us? What the hell is going on? Why is this life? Why? Why? Why? and so on and so forth

11. Who surprised you? was suppose to be the question, but I am changing it to What surprised you...?
Tulsa. Moving here was a hard transition. The hardest one of 2011 that's for sure. And it took me a good few months to actually adjust. But by about mid June I was shocked that we had friends that we really loved in Tulsa. That we had a community. And not just a community but a neat, relaxed, fun Christian community. Just like the one I 'reverbed' about wanting last year. Redeemer as a church really surprised and so did everyone inside of it. Rhys and I found a home that we thought we wouldn't have for a long time. And we are so grateful.

12. What did you learn?
More than I could ever really put into words. I learned what it really means to be a wife. and to be a mother. I learned there is a BIG difference between being a parent and actually parenting. I learned that if I don't take the time to invest in my family, then it simply does not get done. I learned that I am lazy and selfish. I learned it take effort on my part to fight against those things. I learned that I actually care about recycling. it matters. I learned that I can passionately about human trafficing. (lots of future posts on that) I learned that waiting is miserable if you don't take the time to actually wait- forcing life to happen is not a good plan. I learned that the waiting can be sweet- if you make it that. I learned that my friends are wonderful. I learned just how challenging a cross-cultural marriage can be. I also learned I there is nothing you could throw at us that would make us do it any differently. I learned that my husband is the strongest support I will ever have. He is also the strongest, most incredible, amazing man I know. I learned what family really means. I learned that I am more capable than I ever knew. I learned that ultra marathons ARE for me. I learned about life in ways that I never knew possible. I learned a lot.

13. When did you feel the most relaxed?
10 December 2011. The day we moved into our own house. After 18 plus months of living in someone else space, it was glorious to finally have my own. I cried that night as I laid down to sleep in MY own bed. Not some bed that just happened to be in the rented flat, MY bed. in MY house. ah, it was like a tiny glimpse of what Heaven will be like.

14. Where did you leave a mark?
I honestly don't know how to answer that. The beginning of the year was marked with so much pain and inner turmoil for me that I don't think I was capable of doing much of anything, let alone impacting anyone or anything. I got a lot more selfish and lazy as the year went on....so hmm....I would like to say that I left a mark on Eleri. But I am not sure between the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Peppa Pig that she even realised I was around. Ok, so that was a bit extreme. But I also want some honesty on my blog. 2011 was not a brilliant year for me as a person or as a parent. I got into some bad places, and some bad habits. My little one did watch a lot of tv. A great place to learn from and start again in the new year.

15. What movies did you see?
Date Night?.... did that come out in 2011? I saw Harry Potter, Part 2 in the theater last year I know that. But those are the only ones that I can think of...

So that is it for today....more up tomorrow.

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