17 December 2010
a dear friend
i remember really distinctly sitting on a bench in the middle of the quad at JBU. The campus was nearly deserted it was so late. i was tired and my friend and i were having an argument. i did not want to be there. i wanted to be asleep. i wanted to be warm, in my duplex- i did not want to be there. the conversation lasted a good few hours. anything and everything about our friendship was covered. at one point about half way through the conversation I realised something. i really cared about this friend or i wouldn't have been there. more than that, i really valued what she had to say because i was actually listening to her. we sorted out our problems, made our apologies, had some laughs and cemented our friendship that evening. and i have classed her as one of my dearest and closest friends since.
we had shared our ups and downs through the years. our backgrounds are as differently as they could possibly be. our perspectives on a lot of things are different. for example, she uses entirely too much garlic. and she saves chicken fat for weird things. but our hearts are the same.
i can think back over conversations we have had and remember different things she has said. anything from cooking techniques, organic food uses, business models, boundary setting and biblical principles. (random alliteration) but this year those words have come to life. i am not sure if it is my circumstances, my surroundings or my life stage. but nearly everything this girl and i have talked about has come alive to me this year. i have learned to set healthy boundaries and in doing so have been reminded of her words. i am eating healthier, organically, and 'strangely' - just like her. i have found myself approaching some different situations, remembering her perspective. her words of advice and encouragement have touched my heart and my mind like no other friend this year.
when i got married i was equal part excited and scared to move overseas. i was ready to start my new life with my super awesome husband, but also nervous to leave everything familiar to me and move across an ocean. this dear friend heard my heart and came to visit for two weeks.
she came the first week in october 2007. she left slightly later than two weeks, which we laughed about as we drove her to the airport in march of 2008.
most people would argue that if you are newlyweds- living in the same country (even the same time zone) for the first time ever, in a one bedroom flat- having a friend come live on your living room floor for 5 months would probably not be the wisest choice. but it was a perfect choice for us. it just worked.
*she is the kind of friend that i am 100% honest with 100% of the time. i could say "you are annoying me, we need our space" and she would leave to hang out with her other friends. (she got a job, made friends....we weren't throwing her on the street)*
she came back to stay when i was 8.5 months pregnant. she knows when to come and just be with me. she knows when to call. she knows when to call me out. she knows when to encourage.
there was a period of time where we talked almost everyday. quite a feet for friends who live on opposites sides of the world. we laugh about the same things. can chug beer almost as fast as one another (i am still faster) know the same people. love the same places. i cant think of anyone that loves camden as much as i do. we have the same sense of humor. she shows me grace in my life like few other people do. one time we almost got kicked out of a pub for singing anti-england songs in favour of australia. (rugby world cup..it does weird things to you) we have made some great memories.
(us in camden)
she was a big part of my life in college. she was a big part of my life in grad school. and she has been a big part of my life since i have been in the UK. she knows my heart like few people do. she knows parts of my that, rhys aside, no one else does. and because of that she can speak into my life like no one else can.
she is wise. she is faithful. she is loving, caring and compassionate. she is hard nosed and firm when she needs to be. she doesnt take any crap (even from me!) she is brilliant, educated, hard working and determined. she is hilarious. she is a great friend.
the reverb prompt for today was Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
the aforementioned friend has given me strength when i didnt think i had enough, laughter when i couldnt find anything to laugh at, a friend when no one else was around, a realistic perspective when my head was in the clouds, a healthy approach on unhealthy eating habits and a sense of normality when everything was changing. it is not limited to 2010, this friend is amazing through out.
thanks leah miller. you have touched my life in so many ways. you continue to do so. you are an amzing person and an amazing friend. i love you dearly.